finding life really tough at the moment

[jollymollie]

this is not like me. I'm usually happy and not much gets me down. I appreciate what I've got and am happy all the time myself and my family have our health. Just lately though I'm finding life tough. I get up at 6am have a shower, dry hair etc then get my 2 dds up at 7am. They are both very demanding in their own ways even though they are 9 and 7. Trying to get them ready for school and sort out everything they need for the day, doing hairs and getting them to do teeth is a struggle. I then get them off to school and go straight to work myself. My job is quite demanding and stressful. I work right up until school pick up time. Once I get the kids from school it's homework, taking them to whatever after school stuff they do, do tea, get their uniforms ready for next day, baths and bed. By the time they are in bed I'm done in and usually have about an hour before I feel so tired I have to go to bed! I have a dh but he's self employed and works really long hours. I am finding it impossible to keep on top of the housework. I've got piles of ironing and my house is getting really messy. I've just noticed cobwebs on the light fittings!! the weekends are no better. We have no family who take dds out so it's all down to me to entertain them as dh usually at work. They constantly argue. I am starting to feel myself getting unwell. I have never experienced stress before but my head feels as if it is full of cotton wool and I just feel like getting in my car and driving off for a bit to get a break! What's wrong with me, other people seem to cope fine and I feel like a bit of a failure at the moment.

Hi jollymollie; you do sound stressed with too much to do, and with very little time to yourself so it's not surprising that you're feeling like you want to escape! You don't sound like a failure at all to me, just a very hard working person who is a bit overwhelmed at the moment.

How to find some time for yourself might be a good start?
Can you reduce your hours to maybe 4 days a week instead of 5? Or rearrange your hours so that you work the same hours over 4 days, and use after school childcare on those days?
Any chance of strongarming DH into taking the kids out on, say, Sunday mornings so you can have a lie in and a relaxing bath, or such like?

Kids do argue; are there times when they don't?

You do sound as though you're coping ok, but, oh, I remember feeling just like you when my kids were younger; my escape was an evening class, with adults, doing various sewing type things - those classes kept me sane for years! Is that a possibility for you? - a small escape, same time every week, to go out and do something for yourself? Even a walk by yourself might just give you that break that you need.

Cobwebs are great: spiders catch horrible flies, and are to be encouraged (mantras of a lazy stressed overworked woman: I could write a book on being a slattern.....)