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Original poster

would you be pissed off with this?

22 replies

bunny3 · 27/03/2006 14:48

Briefly - I am 40 on Saturday. We get back from holiday the day after my birthday. My mum (who lives near us) originally invited us to lunch on the sunday as it will be my "birthdya weekend". NOw she has told me she is going to visit her sister in Devon and wont be able to see me on sunday. I feel quite snubbed by this. she isnt close to her sister (only became aware of her existence 2 years ago, her sister has been in an institution all her life and wont recognise my mother when she sees her). I think as it is my 40th, I should take priority here especially as I did all the organising for my mums 70th birthday a few weeks ago (cake, champagne, restaurant etc, I did it all). Am I right to be upset here?

OP posts:

LadyTophamHatt · 27/03/2006 14:50

To be totally honest...No it wouldn't piss me off.

cece · 27/03/2006 14:50

yes I would be upset.

PiccadillyCircus · 27/03/2006 14:51

I would probably be upset I think. Although birthdays seem to having less significance for me as I get older.

WigWamBam · 27/03/2006 14:51

Perhaps she's a bit miffed that you've chosen to be away on the day of your birthday?

Or maybe it's an excuse, and she's really trying to organise a surprise party for you?

Original poster

bunny3 · 27/03/2006 14:51

LTH, why not out of interest?

got to get ds now. Will be bck later.

OP posts:

LadyTophamHatt · 27/03/2006 14:51

if it was DH snubbing my B'day then I'd be livid but not my Mum...

Hulababy · 27/03/2006 14:52

I think I'd feel snubbed and a bit upset about it given what you have said. However, is there any particular reason why your mum is visiting her sister that weekend rather than any other?

carla · 27/03/2006 14:52

Thinking out loud here - probably not the best thing to do on MN.

Do you think, given she only became aware of her 2 years ago, that (and I'm only saying what I would think) your mum might want to make up for lost time? And that she knows you, loves you, knows you love her?

What do you think? Or have I got it all wrong?

tootsweet · 27/03/2006 14:53

Yes I would be upset over this. However I had a similar situation for my 21st and it turned out a surprise party had been planned. Could your family be doing something like this?

LadyTophamHatt · 27/03/2006 14:53

Dunno really, birthdays just aren't a big deal to me especially as I get older

HRHQueenOfQuotes · 27/03/2006 14:56

it wouldn't bother me either - and TBH you post comes across (to me) as "well I organised her a big party so she should come be appreciative of that and come and see me"

waterfalls · 27/03/2006 14:57

No, it would'nt bother me.

Caligula · 27/03/2006 14:58

Yes I'd be upset if it meant that I wasn't going to have anything planned to do on my birthday weekend.

paolosgirl · 27/03/2006 15:00

It doesn't come across that way (to me), Bunny. I feel if you make plans for a birthday lunch for someone, you don't then cancel - simple as that. So IMO, yes, I'd be miffed too.

lockets · 27/03/2006 15:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tortington · 27/03/2006 15:45

no i wouldnt be right fussed.

LoveMyGirls · 27/03/2006 16:42

it would bother me but im like that (just an example - my mum popped round on mothers day and had only just opened her present when her hubby phoned to say his son and girlfriend had arrived so she said to me i have to go now, i said hold on you've only just arrived you can at least stay for a cuppa - i was miffed but she did stay for a cuppa)

nutcracker · 27/03/2006 16:44

Wouldn't bother me.

Merlin · 27/03/2006 16:47

Yes Bunny I would be a bit miffed. If there was a definite arrangement made originally, bit rude to then go and do something else (even if it is her sister). Has she just forgotten that she had invited you all over?

Carmenere · 27/03/2006 16:54

But it's not like it is your birthday, yes I would be a bit hurt but I would get over it pretty quickly as I'm sure you will. Just concentrate on having a lovely time on your holiday and reorganise to have a special lunch with your mum.

Original poster

bunny3 · 27/03/2006 17:12

thanks for all the reasponses. I am quite hotheaded and dint want to make a huge issue out of it unless I had total agreement from everyone that my mum was bang out of order. Your posts have helped me rationalise it in my own head and keep some perspective. Cheers.

OP posts:

quanglewangle · 27/03/2006 17:37

A bit short notice regardless of who lets you down. And a bit of a shame as it is a birthday and you could have arranged something else.
However i don't think I would make a fuss about it. Seeing a sister isn't too bad an excuse. I would sulk then get over it and be glad I hadn't said anything.
Probably.

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