am I being reasonable???

[lafemmequipensequelleestunchap]

never asked that before....ok I've got my lip out at the total silence from dh in the mother's day department. I know it sounds like I'm sulking but honestly honestly what niggles me is that he just doesn't seem to want to share the whole giving idea with dds. Although he is incredibly generous in other ways I am not sure that he derives particular pleasure from the process of choosing and giving gifts. I find it enormously pleasurable and a really lovely part of being a kid was the excitement of giving gifts. And I'd like dds to have that too. I suppose they do, when I do it with them but it niggles me a bit that he doesn't get it. And yes, perhaps it's not just that. perhaps it would have nice to have had a small gift from dds, or something. Am I reasonable or a moody moo?

Sounds reasonable to me, have you discussed it with your dh? He may not know how you feel. Try not to let dds see it cause conflict between you...

I think you're reasonable. It's part of his job to make sure your kid's give you gifts for birthdays, christmas, mother's day etc. They're not old enough to take responsibility for it themselves, they have to have someone do it for them, and it can't be the gift recipient.

You are reasonable - I have to say to dh "ds will be dropped off at work on xxx so you can take him for my mother's day present, or let me know when you want me to go out if you were planning on making me something".

It's important that children are taught how to do this. Every night when I put the tea on the table ds shovels in food and then when he comes up for air he says "thank you mummy". I realised that dh thanks me every single night for tea. It's important to set this example.

I know of another family were dad doesn't do this, and puts down the mother. Their ds will not listen to a word the mother says.

I got a card, because my Mum phoned him to remind him. Also got an explanation for no pressie... that mothers day isn't a real celebration, you can do it any day, and I will get a nice pressie one day once we're less busy. Hmmm.Thats what he also said about Valentine's day, and my birthday, and xmas. I'm not too impressed TBH!!

ok he might not get the feeling - right establish that you understand that and then tell him hes a lazy arse shit for not chosing something.

then don't have a go at him when its shit.

he's forgiven. I said I thought it was a shame for the girls taht he hadn;t done anything. It was tricky coz he does huge amounts of other stuff and in no way could be considered as a shirker. It could have precipitated a defence along the lines of "i might not have done x, but I;ve done a,b,c and d" and it would have been true and possibly fair, but he didn't, he just say, yeah, I think you're right, sorry. he's a lovely hubby really.

Lafemme,it never struck me before,but after a tedious day in alone with the children (dh abroad)and it pouring with rain,and having an earache and being screamingly bored...that dh has never engineered anything for me in the 6 years I have been a mother.
(He has been abroad for 5 of them it is true but still...)

I love him dearly,he is everything I want but stuff like this is not on his radar,and I told him on the phone tonight (which will now negate any effort in the future,thuse souring it rather )and his dumbstruck reply was 'It never even occured to me..'

Am enjoying banging things rather too loudly in the kitchen and muttering 'Wanker' under my breath at regular intervals.