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Original poster

Is it ok to

12 replies

noddyholder · 26/03/2006 14:37

stop all contact with a parent who you never see and are banging your head against a wall trying to get through to?My mum has always but particularly in the last 10 yrs treated us all terribly says she is not maternal never wanted kids and thats that.Since I have had ds I have tried to make her see things differently but she has never changed.This weekm ds had tests to see whehter he had inherited my heart condition and she was the only person who didn't ring to ask how it went!I was gutted./Isent her some lovely chocolates for mothers day which she hasn't acknowledged and I have had enough.They sold their house before xmas and didn't tell any of us and have moved to the isle of wight and we didn't even know!I am really upset

OP posts:
busybusybee · 26/03/2006 15:00

:( for you Noddy - I think I would cut ties if it were me tbh - All she seems to be doing is causing you grief

Original poster
noddyholder · 26/03/2006 15:03

I am going to we have all had enough of her.So embaressing that she has moved and we didn't even know She sat here at Xmas and we all knew and she didn't mention it.I am starting to think she is nuts!The only thing she said about ds tests was you didn't catch it from me!The irony is that the type of heart condition I have is generally passed by the females but I wouldn't even bother to tell her.She has moved far enough away that I'll never see her now just feel for ds but don't think it really bothers him!

OP posts:
moondog · 26/03/2006 15:04

NH,she sounds barking.
You've done your best.Now expend your energies elsewhere.

mumfor1standfinaltime · 26/03/2006 15:11
Sad I think in your situation I would concentrate on my 'family' which I have made ie the kids and your friends.

It seems like your Mum is being quite selfish and not giving her family a second thought. I would let her get on with her life the way she sees fit to live it.

Keep your chin up and enjoy your family and friends who are around you, put your energy into them.

Original poster
noddyholder · 26/03/2006 15:26

People have been telling mre that for years and now I am going to do it.Not sure what to do about ds though

OP posts:
JoolsToo · 26/03/2006 15:31

how sad for you noddy - I just can't imagine it, but you have tried and tried and there is only so far you can go - the other person has to meet you half way and it looks like your mother has no intention of doing that.

Sadly, you'll probably end up feeling you have unfinished business whereas she will just carry on as before - she seems to be emotionally bankrupt!

Original poster
noddyholder · 26/03/2006 15:33

It doesn't usually get to me but this time it has!

OP posts:
lou33 · 26/03/2006 15:46

They say you can't pick your family but you can pick your friends, but this is not true.

You are born into a family of which you have no choice, and usually iit is warm and supportive and loving, on a 2 way level. However sometimes that is not teh case, and however much you try, it will never work how you want it to be. In times like that i think it becomes more important to protect your own feelings and cut the connection. It hurts , because no matter what they will always be family, but it is often for the best.

I haven't seen my father for 30 years, despite the fact thst he has once or twice while i have been an adult, tried to get in touch. I decided my life is better without him being involved, and i am comfortable with that, the same as my xh is comfortable with cutting contact with his mother.

Good luck Noddy, I understand how it feels.

x

jambuttie · 26/03/2006 15:52

I do NOT talk to the thing that gave birth to me. She is the most nasty and vindictive person that walks. I haven't spoke to her for 9 yrs, although I did try when I had ds1 4 yrs ago.

She played "happy" families for 2 weeks of my sons life and reverted back to her old ways the evil bitch.

When I had the twins she thought she could walk in my life and see them etc. well no she couldn't.

I did also have to get an interdict against her, which yes it hurt as I thought god thats my mumShock, but then I believe a mother would NOT out her children through what this evil cow has doen to me and my family

Tortington · 26/03/2006 15:59

sorry about this situation noddy. sometimes parents and family are just rubbish - better to not bother with them IMO.

desperatehousewife · 26/03/2006 16:02

Oh Noddy, what a shame. I would definately cut back on contact as it's just upsetting you. She does sound a bit barking.

MABS · 27/03/2006 19:15

Oh Noddy, feel for you hun xx

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