What can I do For her Following Stillbirth?

[Thirtysix]

One of my closest friends lost her baby at 32weeks to stillbirth.
Monday is her due date and I know it will be a dreadful day for her.
I plan to be at the cemetary Monday morning to meet her (she goes every day) and will obviously get some flowers.

Feel so helpless and wondered if anyone had any ideas of what else I could do?

make sure she eats something healthy.

my neighbour's little boy - aged three - died last year. I take food regularly, and make it my business to be aware of important dates - anniversary/ birthday etc.. times that are especially hard - not that any times aren't really. But I think cooking food is the only really helpful thing I can think of. Obviously being there to talk etc etc - but with food the gesture is there, you don't need to talk - I just leave it on her doorstep often. She knows I am thinking about them all - and it helps with the cooking/ catering side of life which is espeically hard in times of crisis. I think being at the cemetery with flowers is a really good idea. Take her round bread and soup afterwards. so she has something nutritious to eat if she can manage to... sorry this is a ramble..

Thirtysix, my thoughts are with your friend. like stitch and mousie said, make sure she has something to eat. in times of bereavement it's so important for those grieving to have food.

in terms of remembrance, we mark the anniversary of my sisters death and birthday each yr, not a day goes by when i dont think about her, but it does get easier with time x although your friend prob wont be thinking this at the moment. my thoughts are with her xx

Your poor friend.

I think the idea of a flowering plant is a nice one, assuming she would have somewhere to plant it. Maybe you could get one that would normally flower at around this time of year? A magnolia would be beautiful, if she has the space.

It might sound strange, I know, and it wouldn't work for everyone, but could you try to make tomorrow some sort of a celebration? So that your friend has a chance to say how she wishes baby was here, and how much she loves and misses him/her and will never forget them. Could you perhaps invite her back to your house for maybe a drink and some cake to toast the baby so that in the future she has something nice to think about on the anniversary as well as the obvious sadness of it all? Of course, you will have to play this by ear, and it might well be the very last thing she wants.

I'll be thinking of you both.

just echoing what the others have said really, all you can do is just "be there". Call every now and again to ask how they are, she will probably find it really hard to even think about calling anyone herself.
Remember important dates, dob, anniversary, etc.
She will be touched just by knowing that you are thinking of her LO.
For my nieces birthday (amyjades dd), we had a family picnic, lit candles, sang happy birthday. we also released baloons with a personal message from each of us to her. Her first anniversary is coming up, im going to do the same then too.
I hope this is of some help to you, believe me i know how helpless you are feeling right now.x

Thank you all for your suggestions.
I do call her,nearly every day and just leave a message if she doesn't want to talk.She is on the surfaceof it,coping quite well but I just know that tomorrow,which should have been such a happy day,will be so hard for her.

Have bought a few little pink things for the grave-which she loves to see decorated,a balloon and will be at the cemetary when she arrives tomorrow morning with a flask of coffee.
If the weather is kind we can sit on a nearby bench and have breakfast with her dd......