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Original poster

should i get dp take my ds to a prison?

18 replies

helpwhatshudido · 22/03/2006 10:25

i have changed my name for this one! not a troll... my dp's best friend is serving life in a high security jail! and my dp wants to take out little boy into see him, im not happy with this at all, for starters the jail would have to check my babys nappy and change it into one of there nappies, this just doesnt seem right to me, this is dp best friend and has never seen his sone, but im just not happy with the situation, i dont want my son in a prison, what would you do!!

OP posts:

TearsBeforeBedtime · 22/03/2006 10:27

I don't think I'ld feel comfortable with this scenario either. I just don't see what your son would get out of the visit.

oliveoil · 22/03/2006 10:28

I wouldn't be happy with this tbh. Fair enough taking your son to see his father in prison, necessary evil etc, but so he can show him off to his friend? No.

Dh has been to prison to visit someone once, years ago, and he said it was hidious, loud and full of, well, criminals!

heavenis · 22/03/2006 10:30

How old is your son, and how long are the visits. If your not comfortable with doing it then I wouldn't. I don't think I'd be keen myself.
Why doesn't he show him some photos.

Caligula · 22/03/2006 10:31

What the hell is your dp thinking of? Why would anyone want to take a child in nappies into a prison where, he will have to be undressed by uniformed scarey people?

I can't imagine why your DP thinks it would benefit your ds. But then, I guess it's not for his benefit he wants to do it.

throckenholt · 22/03/2006 10:32

maybe when he is older and he can choose for himself - but I would think the risk of frightening is too large, particularly if it is just to visit someone he does not know.

Let DP go on his own, presuming you are happy fro him to maintain the connection.

Feistybird · 22/03/2006 10:33

That's what photos are for.

Angeliz · 22/03/2006 10:35

Absolutely 100% not.
I'd never allow it.
Never in a million years!

Chandra · 22/03/2006 10:42

Take a photo, children don't have to go to those places unless it's completely necessary (like visiting thir mum or dad, for any other connections, relatives... the answer is no, that's what photos are for)

BettySpaghetti · 22/03/2006 10:44

I've been to a prison (in a work capacity I hasten to add!!) and its certainly not a place I would want my children to visit.

spidermama · 22/03/2006 10:45

A friend of mine is in the process of adopting a baby and has had to take him in to prison to visit him mum. I gather the visits have been quite traumatic for everyone.

I wouldn't do it. I can understand your dp wanting to, but I'd say no. Take a photo. Anyway his mate wants to see him, not his baby surely.

lucy5 · 22/03/2006 10:46

I once prison visited when i was about 20 and it was a horrible place. People were virtually having sex all around me. It was crowded , dirty and noisy, not somewhere I would want to take a child.

madmarchhare · 22/03/2006 10:49

If youre not happy then dont let it happen.

I am assuming that your son is still quite young if he is in nappies, so doubt very much that its going to have any effect on him what so ever.

I suppose the nappy scenario sounds a bit off but Im sure that its all going to happen in a normal nappy changing type environment and again. Im sure your son will be non the wiser.

I am just trying to think about it as if it were my best friend say.

littlemisspiggy · 22/03/2006 11:27

From the title I thought maybe it was as learning/deterrent exercise for a teenager but on reading the OP..
No way!! Not a place for children. As others have said, let him take a photo.

Original poster

helpwhatshudido · 22/03/2006 11:40

that what i think exactly what you are all saying! i dont want my baby there, ds will get nothing out of being there, dp thinks that he shoudl be allowed to take him as he is his son! and its his best friend! he says photos arent the same!
i dont want my son around these people! when he is old enough to make his mind up if thats where he wants to go then fair play but right now i want to protect him and keep him away from places like that...

OP posts:

Caligula · 22/03/2006 11:47

Er - your dp appears to have a rather hazy notion of the duties of a father! Being his son isn't automatically a reason for him to be allowed to take him to prison. What he should be thinking of, is how he can be a good father to his son and how his son's interests would be served by being taken to a prison at this age. When he looks at it from the angle of the welfare of his son, the world looks different that when he looks at it from the angle of his rights as a father.

LadyTophamHatt · 22/03/2006 12:01

also...I'm sure the friend in prison would much rather just see your DP on a 1-1 basis. Your Dp will be looking after Ds and wouldn't have nearly as much time for his friend.

Chandra · 22/03/2006 12:01

Ermh, may also add... what benefits your kid can get from having contact with somebody who is serving life? to serve life his friendt had to do something really bad or being the victim of a huge justice mistake.

Original poster

helpwhatshudido · 22/03/2006 12:20

hey im with you's yeah obviously serving life indicates its a serious offence he has committed although its rather more techincal than that, and ive known him for some time and guenuinaly 'nice bloke' ive decided that he isnt giong to take our son and i will stand by this desicion, thanks for advice

OP posts:

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