Family drama - could really do with some advice.

[needsomeadvice]

I'd rather not post my name here in case someone I know in RL should recognise me but hope I won't be considered a troll.

There's a bit of history here.

My dh's parents have had a business for a number of years - they are really terrible at what they do and have cut corners (illegally in many cases) not paid people and generally were in such bad shape a couple of years ago that they were on the brink of everything collapsing around them, it didn't help that MIL was conned, rather equisitely to the tune of about 150 thousand pounds!

Just over a year ago my dh decided enough was enough and that he was going to help them out, sort out the business, strip the rot and get them making some kind of profit. he wasn't going to do it for free either (it's important to mention this for later) So for the last year dh has been working for at least 90 hours a week (he also has a really busy FT job) he hasn't had any time to spend with us except for four hours on a Sunday. We've seriously gone without and we have remortgaged our house and ploughed 60 thousand pounds back into their business.

I came up with a suggestion which dh went with (his parents have given him full control of the business now)and it looks like a deal is pretty much on the table and they have been offered a huge amount by a VC to buy the business completely. As they were likely to be left with nothing a few years ago my PIL said to dh and I that if we made any money from helping them that we would be entitled to half of all profits.

The problem now is dh's brother - who turned the other cheek when we asked if he could contribute initially with time or money to help- wants to have a share and is asking for a third of the money for doing absolutely nothing. Whilst we've all gone without and my children haven't had holidays, treats or their dad for a while he has enjoyed his lifestyle without a care in the world.

I am being a money grabbing cow? The brother stands to inherit the pil's house BTW - he won't be left skint in any way.

I feel bitter as the brother only ever bothers to see his mum if he wants favours (usually money)and now he is trying to put a claim on this money we look certain to have in a few months.

needsomeadvice

If PILs are subject to guilt-trips from your BIL they need a major one from your dh too.

Document the amount of money put into the business (£60,000) and document all the other stuff, travel/airfares/phone expenses etc. and put an estimate on it, be conservative if necessary. Calculate the amount of hours dh has put in and what that would have cost if they had paid a manager from outside the family, discount it to minimum wage levels if you feel it's too much.

Present PILS' with the calculations so that there is no misunderstanding and get dh to explain that he will need to take remedial financial action to the further detriment of his family. He can say that you are not sleeping properly for worry about the return of the £60,000 at the very least as you have increased mortgage repayments or loan repayments to meet each month for years to come.

Play at the same level as your BIL if necessary, as it sounds like the only way is to play at his level. Leave PIL's in no doubt that they are effectively borrowing from one son to give to another, leaving the first with debt and the second with a windfall. Play dirty.

NormsK - you are my absolute angel.

I don't know why I didn't think of that. Will put those measures into place ASAP.

Many thanks
xx

bloody hell shes good that NORMSK .Why didnt any one think of it before . Sounds like the best idea to me .

I so hope it works for you needsomeadvice !

Agree with norms. Play them at their own game. Document all that money and get your MIL to pull her head out of the sand.

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