MY FAMILY AND IN LAWS NEVER MAKE MUCH EFFORT TO SEE US OR OUR DAUGHTER!!!

[tahira]

Hi

Just wondering if anyone else has this problem?

I used to spend £70 every fortnight to go and see my family in a cab (because I don't drive and the journey takes over 2 hours on public transport). When I finally realised that noone ever made an effort to see us (and that I was a complete mug for wasting my money!!!) I stopped. Since then, they never come up to us because apparently, the distance is too far!!!!

With my in laws my MIL makes arrangements to see her friends and go to the Harrods sale before even attempting to see her only grandaughter!!!

The other day me and my DH practically begged her to come and see us (because we'd just had our garden done and we were excited)-she said she didn't have the time until next week when she could come for 1 hour only. We later found out that she hadn't come on the day because she wanted to watch the grand prix, and during the week she was going to see her friends!!!

I'm not saying that she should drop everything for us, but we'd never begged her to come see us before. When she goes on holiday she doesn't come to see us before she goes and then says she misses us. When she comes back it took her 6 weeks to come see us and we found out she'd already been to her friends and the sales!!!

My In-laws have been to my house once since Dd was born and even then it was because there was resturant they wanted to try not actually to se her. The only timein the last two and a half years they have come down just for her was for her first birthday where theystayed for about three hours then left. Her Grandad sometime visits when he is on his way home but just once I'd like for them just to come for the day to see Dd. They do live a bit away but we travel up regularly to see them and they all drive, although I resent even doing this now and will only do it if I really need to. I hate it more as when I was young my both my grans lived in other towns but they used to come and stay over a lot.
My parents are the opposite but they only live a coupe of minutes down the road and see her every day nearly. I can't imagine what it would be like if they didn't come see her. I would be like you and just refuse to go and visit them.

I know it probably sounds petty but whenever someone says that they're going to see a friend and we're "on the way", can they come see us, I always say we're busy!!!

We told everyone of my DD's 1st birthday 6 weeks in advance and my MIL had worked all night so she was really grumpy when she came to see us!!!

There's just no effort whatsoever!!!

With my family-I've stopped going there but on all major occassions they make an effort. They don't drive and aren't well off so I suppose they've got an excuse because it is a horrible journey.

My MIL has a free travel card and goes all over the place to see people. Then she wonders why my DD doesn't get on with her!!!

Fil does this, I'm away to see family on the other side of the country but I can drop in on the way past, it's like a royal visit sometimes. He has no problem driving across the country to go fishing but 90 mins to see his grandaughter is too much work. What makes it worse is Dp doesn't drive so I have to drive there and back. We also had an engagment party a few months ago but had managed to pick the week they were on holiday so they said they'd arrange a party for us when we got back at there house. We thought thats fine we'll have a party here with my family and go there for another a couple of weeks later, when we got there we had tea and visited some of Dps friends, sil's came for a couple of hours then went. Didn't find out till Christmas that Fil hadn't told anyone and they had only come as they knew we were there not for anything special.
Sorry I'll just come here and moan nice to know someone else has similar in-law problems.

I also come to this website to vent my anger-yes, it is reassuring to know that you're not the only one out there :o
My FIL does try and make an effort but he's one of those weird people who has no social manners at all-e.g. he used to call me a paki, took the piss out of my religion and then, recently, started kicking me on the arse!!!
I HATE it when he comes over but my DH assures me he does it all cos he thinks he's being funny!!!! He's coming over to see DD tomorrow-hooray!!! Can't wait!!! (Please note the sarcasm!!!)

balls to em is all i can say.