My worst nightmare has come true ....

[rickman]

Ex p text me tonight and says he has got a girlfriend and he wants her to meet the kids. I don't! I can't bear the thought of it!

I realise that some people will think I'm makina fuss about nothing, but this is a huge deal for me.

Rickman I totally sympathise with your situation. TBH i don't really think there is ever a right time to accept that the kids wil be introduced to a new partner, I know if DH and I ever split up, I don't think I'd ever feel comfortable with another woman getting close to my DS. But if it happened I know I would have to accept it.

I know it's not much consollation, but at least your xp did tell you he was with someone and did ask for your opinion on introducing her to the kids. A friend of mine only found out her xh was seeing someone when her 3 year old son came home from an access visit and told her that daddy had had a woman staying over while he was there, and this was 3 weeks after they'd split up.

He told them, they thought it was hilarious apparently.

Ds came home and told me that he was going to have 2 mums and that he wishes the girlfriend could live with us, because she is going to be lovely and kind. Slightly gutted! :(

Reality might be a bit different. Presumably he has only told them, not introduced her yet. Does she have children? She might think the idea of her boyfriend's children is sweet, but, once they start playing up or something, you may not see her for dust.

give them loads of sugar before thry go round.

how old is your ds again?

rickman - you are one top mum and don't you forget it!! I think the suggestion to ask for some time to get used to the idea is a good one and you would be perfectly in your rights to do that. I would say to try to not project perfect, idealised images onto their situation as I suspect that's not the case. If you can, and I'm not sure I could do this, so tell me to take a running jump, try to just see your kids having an ok time there as being better than them not having an ok time there. Boy, this must be hard though, I really feel for you xx

Good idea misdee- apparently froot shoots are good....

Love the idea of giving them a sugar (and possibly additive) hit before he has them! Revenge in that case would be truly sweet .

Oh and what happened with the maintenance? Did he drop his contribution as he threatened?

rickman - Sorry to hear all this i hope your ok did you get my email i do hope so, don't feel the need to reply.

& remember your there mummy & you will always be number "one" no matter what

It was my shoes Fio!!!

Ds is nearly 6 Misdee. Yes I did get your email M21, it was really kind of you. Thanks everyone for being so supportive.

Do you know what really worries me, is that she will appear on the step parenting board talking all about her new boyfriend and all his kids and what a cow his ex is. Also I'm even more likely to delay xp having ds2 now, I can't stand the thought of someone woman carrying around my baby, I feel quite irrationally violent at the thought of it.

Sorry freckle, at the moment I am still getting the £300 I think, but the csa don't be able to give me any definite information though. I am planning on applying for a further variation though, in the hope that it will unearth the wages he has hidden.

Actually I rather hope she does appear on the step parenting boards because 1001 other women can inform her that you are not foul, and that her lovely new boyfriend is a complete *rse who is juggling his finances in order to deprive his children of what they need.

I will catch up with you on msn later and we can sort it out. You're not ready to drive to me yet then?