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Original poster

Please help..long story!

17 replies

georgia73 · 15/03/2006 12:35

My sis is 8mths pregnant and last week announced that our cousin want to give her a baby shower.
But that she thinks our cousins house is too small and that cousin suggested we have it at my house.
I was not keen on this..as I have 2 kids and can't really have a party in the evening whilst they are in bed..so I said I would discuss it with cousin..who was to ring me about it.
Anyway.. when cousin rang I told her I would gladly do the food but would prefer it to be in her house as she has no kids and lives alone.
She sais sis doesn't want it in her house so we both said we would forget it then.
I suggested we all go for a meal instead and we happily chatted about that.
To cut a long story short..I am now really hurt because sis has just slammed the phone down on me because i told her about the meal...turns out she did want it in my house.
Iam upset by this as I have done a lot for sis through this pregnancy...bought her a pram ..clothes and last week me and our mother scrubbed her house from top too bottom for her.
As she is in pain and can't move much...now I feel like the bad guy and its all i need at the moment..i have been very down anyway.
Anyone offer any advice.

OP posts:
lunavix · 15/03/2006 12:37

You've done enough for her tbh. Remind her of just how much, and tell her you simply can't have it at yours and give her the options. You aren't being a bad guy, but do remember pregnancy makes you irrational!

Original poster
georgia73 · 15/03/2006 12:39

Just to add..the party would be about 9 people..mostly sis friends who haven't given her their pressies yet. Me and our mother have given her our big pressies and between us have bought loads of nappies and toilitries for after the birth..I have also given her a cot...taken her to appointments..etc. Iam there for my sis whenever she needs me but why do I feel lousy for not wanting this party.

OP posts:
magnolia1 · 15/03/2006 12:41

Why can' you have it in your sisters house?? Especailly as you and your mum have scrubbed it clean Shock

I can understand you don't want to be the bad guy and you sister is in pain and hormonal but speaking from experience it's not always better to keep doing everything for her. I have previously been like this with one of my sisters and am constanly helping her (she has 1 child I have 4!!!) It's got to the stage now where she gets the arse every time thnings are not done how she wants them and she is so bitter if me or my mum can't help in some way Sad

I think your idea was nice but maybe she is to uncomfortable for a restaurant so would feel better at home. I just think it should be her home and not yours! Smile

magnolia1 · 15/03/2006 12:41

i meant can't not can' Blush

Original poster
georgia73 · 15/03/2006 12:41

Hi..thanks for the quick response. She has been crying on the phone to our mother about it..I can't see why she is upset but I know it could be hormones. I have tried calling her back but she wont answer the phone.Sad

OP posts:
magnolia1 · 15/03/2006 12:42

Is she younger?? Crying to your mum is just a way to get you to back down!!

Carmenere · 15/03/2006 12:43

It's definitely hormones.

Original poster
georgia73 · 15/03/2006 12:43

Hi..Magnolia..I thought of suggesting her house but as its the same size as cousins she would probably say its too small also.
Not that I live in a mansion..just have a bigger lounge.

OP posts:
coppertop · 15/03/2006 12:46

I think that if your sister wants the party that much then she should be having it at her own house. Why should it be your responsibility? It's not remotely practical for you to have it at your house. Hormonal or not, your sister is being very unreasonable.

Original poster
georgia73 · 15/03/2006 12:46

Yes she is younger than me but still late twenties..mum agrees with me...so she got the hump with her a bit too.
I know hormones can't help ..but this was 24hrs ago..I don't know weather to call her now or wait for her to contact me...she has definitly blown it up all out of proportion.

OP posts:
magnolia1 · 15/03/2006 12:48

ok i can see it may be cramped but if there are only 9 people i don't see the problem. I can fit 9 round my dinner table so 9 in a small lounge is not an excuse.

I have a feeling you are gong to give in aren't you??? Not that you shouldn't if thats what you want and I can understand trying to keep the peace but just don't feel bullied into it Smile

magnolia1 · 15/03/2006 12:49

My sister is late twenties and a complete pain in the arse!! Grin

Original poster
georgia73 · 15/03/2006 12:50

Perhaps I would give in if I thought it would help...but I know my sis..she would tell me to stick it now..as i obviously don't want her to have a shower...thats how she would see it.
I could do without this..it wasn't even my idea.

OP posts:
fairyjay · 15/03/2006 13:00

Did your sis do a baby shower for you?

coppertop · 15/03/2006 13:04

She's in her late 20's?? Shock I thought you were going to say she was still in her teens or something. She certainly seems to be acting that way!

Original poster
georgia73 · 15/03/2006 13:33

No I didn't have a baby shower...it wouldn't have crossed my mind...I have never heard of anyone having one either.
Iam trying to see sis's point of view...I suppose she feels like we (mum and I) couldn't be bothered or whatever.
She is feeling depressed at her back pain and has had a lot of sickness throughout the pregnancy.She also has money worries...so i think she is probably looking for someone to take it out on.

OP posts:
teabelly · 15/03/2006 13:45

Sounds like your sis relies on you and your mum abit too much. Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind, so leave things for a day or so for her to mull over. Hopefully she'll see that she's blown it up out of proportion, if not she'll be in touch soon enough when she wants another favour. DON'T GIVE IN - I do this every time with my mum and sis so I know that whatever you do it never seems to be enough Wink

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