Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Other subjects

Flip

Original poster

So what's the mumsnet etiquette for birthday parties at soft play places?

18 replies

Enid · 14/03/2006 10:35

because dd2 has been invited to one next week and dd1 would love to go to this particular soft play place (its new and quite a long way away, we've never been before).

Do I ask the mum if I can bring dd1 and pay for her?

OP posts:

Bozza · 14/03/2006 10:37

I think that is generally what happens. Is it an open or closed session? If it is open then obviously no issue. If it is closed, then you really should mention it to the Mum.

bosscat · 14/03/2006 10:37

I wouldn't even feel I needed to mention it if the soft play was still open to the public. Just pay for dd2 seperately. if its closed then obviously mention it first. ds1 has his 4th birthday in January at a soft play and loads of people brought siblings and didn't say anything to me as it was still open. I had loads of party bags over so gave them all one anyway.

Original poster

Enid · 14/03/2006 10:40

jsut a bit worried about the food thing, I presume she's paid for soft play party food so I can't just butt in with dd1?

OP posts:

Bink · 14/03/2006 10:42

I'd say that was fine - often people just bring them without asking, but it's nicer to do it your way - especially because then the host can cater for the extra siblings at tea. Though if it's the kind of place where the party package includes the tea dd1 might not be able to be included in that - I suppose it's worth checking.

iota · 14/03/2006 10:44

I would keep away from teh party tea and buy dd2 separate food

iota · 14/03/2006 10:44

I mean dd1

Bink · 14/03/2006 10:44

cross-post! - yes, it's what's included - food etc. - that's the main issue. I bet, though, that there'll be one or two no-shows so likely to be room for dd1. Is she the sort you'd have to warn in advance she just might be left out, though?

moondog · 14/03/2006 10:46

The etiquette is to avoid at all costs.
'Soft play' is a euphemism for Purgatory.
Furthermore,kids piss and drool all over the plastic balls.

Original poster

Enid · 14/03/2006 10:48

lol moony

I know but they do both love them

I THINK it is an open session but with food as part of the package

will say I am taking dd1 and we will eat seperately (dd1 will approve of this, very grown up )

OP posts:

bosscat · 14/03/2006 10:49

actually if the mum's had told me they were bringing extra siblings I could have sorted them out with food as I had 3 no shows. I didn't realise they had brought them as they were running around upstairs.

Bozza · 14/03/2006 10:53

I would be happy for siblings to come as long as it didn't cost me any extra. £6.50 a head plus drinks for parents - it cost £130+ anyway. So I would say that what you are doing sounds just fine to me.

Surfermum · 14/03/2006 11:03

DD is going to one at the weekend and we've also got dsd with us that weekend. I was going to see if dsd wanted to come and if she does pay for her to go into the centre and buy her some food separately if she wants some. I'm going to mention it to my friend tomorrow, but I'm sure she won't mind.

oliveoil · 14/03/2006 11:05

At the ones I go to (weekly ), I only take both girls if both have been invited.

However, at our local, they put all the shoes from the party guests in a big box, then line them up and count them and do meals for however many pairs of shoes iyswim. Parent pays at the end for whatever it is.

But ours is a small place and usually for exclusive use of party.

I think you should mention to mum and pay if necessary, not sit separately in purda (sp?).

misdee · 14/03/2006 11:05

its fine if you are wi,lling to pay for them. i had a brother of one chil asking if he could come to the party, i said not to the party but his parents could pay for hi mto play, but they'd have to sit in. surpisingly the girl invited didnt show up. nothing wrong with her, just a no-shoe. that makes me mad.

cece · 14/03/2006 11:09

I have booked one for dd's birthdya nd the maximum number is 25 children. I would therefore have a problem if siblings suddenly started turning up! As I would be asking 25 children to come so no spare spaces iyswim...

MerlinsBeard · 14/03/2006 11:16

if i didn't take ds2 then ds1 wouldn't go so i take him, pay seperatly and feed him in the party room but with our own food or the venues.

I have just booked for DS1s b'day in soft play and will have to pay at the end. I will be paying for the children that i invited NOT extras (altho the extras in my case are babies so don't really count anyway)

Orinoco · 15/03/2006 22:03

dd1 had her party at a soft play, and I deliberately said to parents with other children that they could bring them and pay on the door if they wanted to.

I did that as I know how disappointed dd2 gets when dd1 is invited to a party.

Hulababy · 15/03/2006 22:08

If it is an open session then no problem at all - just take the child along and pay for her to play. But accept that she'd not be having the party tea with the others - so you could buy her something extra.

If a closed session then you would need to ask and see if it was possible.

Flip