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6 replies

lionhearted · 13/03/2006 20:10

I wonder if anyone has any suggestions for how to explain depression, mental illness and suicide to children? Does anyone know of any books that might help?
And on the suicide point, how on earth do you explain that sometimes it doesn't matter how much you love someone you can't save them? ... And that because they chose death doesn't mean they didn't love those people back ....Good grief, I don't understand it myself, how are children supposed to get it .... I'd be very, very glad of some mumsnet wisdom on this one ...

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starlover · 13/03/2006 20:11

how old are the kids? has someone close to you killed themselves? so sorry if that is the case :(

jmg1 · 13/03/2006 20:14

How old are the children?

My children were age one, two and three when their Mother took her own life. I have said that she was poorly but I know that when they are older they will have many questions and will need more information.

I do not know how to explain it to them either.
Not much help to you, sorry.

TearsBeforeBedtime · 13/03/2006 20:15

on another thread, Sharklet had some useful for book suggestions for explaining mental health issues to children, I've just copied and pasted her post below.

"By sharklet on Tuesday, 7 March, 2006 10:25:53 PM

Try looking at www.youngminds.org.uk they have advice on mental illness in children and also more pertinently to your problem in family members.

A book to try might be "The Wise Mouse" by Nick Sharratt. Blurb goes as follows: This is an accessible and sensitive book written by novelist and agony aunt Virginia Ironside and illustrated by Nick Sharratt for children whose family member may be experiencing a mental health problem.

Through a simple story about a girl whose mother has a mental health problem and a 'wise mouse' who helps the girl, children will be encouraged to explore their own feelings about the problem and what it may mean for their family.

Maria is a little girl who's very worried about her mother: why does she behave so oddly at times? One night, very upset about it all, Maria feels a tap on her shoulder and wakes to find a mouse sitting on her duvet. It's not just any old mouse though, but a very wise one who can talk to Maria about all her worriesÄ

This book is written for 5 to 11 year-olds and aims to help them understand what is happening to a family member who may be experiencing a mental illness.

I knw it might be a bit old but it might be worth a try and might give you some ideas.

Jacqueline Wilson also writes about mental illness.

Another book to try could be "Sometimes my Mommy gets angry" about a child who's mother is scitzophrenic.

There must be loads of others too. "

lionhearted · 13/03/2006 20:22

I'm part of an extended family and the suicide happened a few years ago ... It's on my mind now because the children in the extended family are in the 5-10 age group (including two of them whose father killed himself)... They are of an age to want to know something more than anyone has yet told them and I, for one, would really like not to be clumsy or awkward or to give them the wrong idea about why these things happen ... there are going to be some difficult and probably ongoing conversations ahead ...(thanks for the speedy response!)

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lionhearted · 13/03/2006 20:47

jmg1 I am so sorry to hear that--I have been thinking and thinking about how to deal with this, as I am sure you have, too. I am very afraid, I suppose, that the children might feel a sense of rejection and am not sure how this can be prevented ...Sad

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lionhearted · 13/03/2006 22:14

TBB thank you, I am following up your suggestions ...

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