etiquette for anniversaries of deaths...

[helsi]

The son of my parents best friends died aged 26 in a tragic accident last year in June and seeing them today made me think whether I should send a "thinking of you card" when the time of year comes round again. I know you wouldn't send one every year but as the first year is the hardest I just wondered if it is the done thing or not.

Helsi
Somebody did that for me and my mum the year after my dad died and it was the nicest, sweetest, most touching thing. The anniversary is a really hard day, made harder by the fact that you assume everyone else has forgotten.
Send it!

helsi whether it is the done thing or not
just go for it, if this is what you want to do
a lovely gesture of rememberance imo
xxx

Its hard to decide really. Do they talk about they're son or do they not mention him? If they openly talk about him then I would send one. If not then I'd leave it.
My dad always sends my nan a big bouquet of flowers on the anniversary of grandad's death and she really appreciates. She says it's nice to know that he hasn't been forgotton.

well if it was me i would send a card.....it will probably comfort them to know that he is still in your thoughts. i think sometimes it can feel a bit like the rest of the world has moved on and forgotten about such an important event, so it could make a very hard day a little easier to bear knowing that you are thinking of them.
of course you know them so are better placed to judge whether they would appreciate the sentiment.

Yes they do talk about him and he would have been getting married in August this year too. I think I will send them one. thanks everyone.

Yes, send it.

A Uni friend of mine had the anniversary of her son commiting suicide a few weeks ago, none of her family remembered- even phoned her for a general whinge . A small e-mail from me asking how she was made a huge difference.

V good friend of mine died 11 yrs ago and I try to always send a card on the anniversary of his death - in particular as his family regularly include us in their lives, despite distance/time, because we were friends of his and they don't want to forget. I can think of nothing nicer in that situation.

The first anniversary of the death of a friend's Mum I sent flowers, since then I send a card - or most recently email. Last year was 4 years since her Mum died and I almost didn't bother - in the end I just emailed and said I was thinking of her. She emailed back and said it had meant so much to her that I'd remembered, as no-one else had, not even her dh.