Advice needed please on life with a toddler and without a car!

[FionaJT]

My old banger has just failed its MOT and it's not worth repairing. I don't use it much and I live in the centre of a town where parking is a nightmare, so I'm biting the bullet and going carless. I've got a 14 month old dd and my big question is about taxis - can you take a toddler in one? what about carseats? do any taxi firmss provide them? (I'm thinking about to and from the train station/back from the supermarket with a big shop etc etc). Any other advice will be gratefully received too!

shop online!

what about online shopping?

My best mate is a single mum, has a 3 year old and has not had a car since 3 year old was 10 months...

she lives in a town centre so can walk to most things...

typically myself, her sister and her parents take her shopping about once a month each... so she gets about 3 supermarket shops per month and tops up at tesco express / iceland / M&S in town

can also walk to library / tumble tots / swimming pool etc.

She takes a car seat with her in the taxi (the taxi drivers dont seem to mind... she straps it in etc)... but normally only uses a taxi to VISIT people, where its easy to leave car seat in the hall way or whatever etc... not to nip to the supermarket etc.

The law says you dont need to use a car seat in a taxi... which IMO is dangerouse... i would NEVER take a child without a car seat! (could never live with myself if there was an accident and they were hurt or even killed)

Not sure if any taxis provide them but id be very warey of them being safe and used / installed properly etc.

Surely customer services would look after a car seat for you?

Also if you spend more than £25 icekand deliver to your home for free.... if for whatever reason none of us can do a supermarket run and shes desperate she goes to iceland... spends £25 and they deliver it later that day for free!

We live in Brighton and don't run a car for financial and safety reasons (I hate driving and I'm rubbish at it). We're lucky because our bus service is fab - very frequent buses all over the city and you can just wheel buggies straight on. I do a lot of internet shopping and we're lucky too that there's so much we can do within easy (flat)walking distance - beach, parks,library, museum, paddling pool,soft play etc. We've also got quite good at making our own weird entertainment near by - like going to watch trains at the station or to look at the buses "sleeping" in the bus depot or to wonder to the local charity shop and buy a bashed up dinky or a book,or wondering down our road squashing berries or collecting snails - you get the drift. Car's still hold a huge novelty for my DS (2.7). We had to get a cheap light car seat that can fit easily in any car its basically a glorified booster seat but it seems to do the job. Taxis are a real treat for him and I've found the easiest thing to do is get/book a London style cab and you can wheel a buggy straight on. I'm guessing that if we were buggyless sitting in the rear facing seats might be safer for him but I'm only guessing. Not running a car saves us a fortune. Online shopping is much cheaper too.

Buses are fine if you've just got the one child, even in a pushchair. And again, one toddler will do very well with a combination of Hippiechick hip seat and reins.
Don't know if you have a partner or if they have a car but if so one of you could drive to a big supermarket on an evening.
My best tip is to get a milkman and order a minimum 7pints so you don't get stuck.
Also www.riverford.co.uk is a good way of keeping regular stocks of fruit, veg, milk etc.
I'd never put an under 4 in a car without a proper seat, maybe over that you could get away with a cushion.

Up until my kids were 6 and 3 I din't have a car, went all over the place using trains and buses.
Train was great as I could take my big silvercross and for the bus I would put DS in a sling until we got off as he was so heavy and it was easier to handle the buggy.

Loads of buses are designed now that you can take the pram on with out folding it, bit of a bugger when they put a old bus on when you are all ready to roll on.

DH was really happy when I got a mobile as we used to get all over the place and he would phone on the way home to ask where we eneded up.

Never used taxis but black cabs here are big enough to take pushchairs on without folding and kids can stay in them or taxi driver will put in boot, I would perhaps get a lightweight seat if needed.

Oh Lord get a car.

I wish, so much, that we had a car, but neither of us can drive. I have a nearly 3 year old, and a baby due in 4 weeks, I am going to have to walk to get the baby registered, so Dp and I will have to walk 3 miles altogether with a 3 year old and a newborn baby, as we are not married we both have to be there.

I rely on other people to take me to the supermarket - Tesco Express has just been built at the end of my street and it has changed my life.

Finding childcare to go to work is impossible if you don't have the money for a live in nanny - I would have to get toddler and baby ready, walk (25 minutes) or Taxi (£4 each way) into town to a nursery, then walk to wherever I worked or get a bus or train. so, 25 minutes to nursery, 10 minutes to train station, 20 minutes on the train, 30 minutes to actual workplace - 1 hour 25 minutes. It's a 40 minute car journey.

The goddawful weather in this country ... I had some days this winter when i felt like crying, becasue it was hailing, I couldn't get a taxi and I had no other way home except to walk.

Sick kids... try walking a toddler with raging diarrhoea and sickness the 25 minute walk down to the gp, only to have him vomit all over himself and his clothes, which he is stuck in until you have walked home... and you have been vomiting for 5 days yourself. This happened to me in December.

Holidays - we aren't having one this year, because I cannot face a toddler, a baby, and a weeks luggage for 4 on a train. I don't think we will get one again until I learn to drive.

Honestly, get a car, they are worth every penny.

About taxis too... if you need one quickly at 7:45 to 9am, or 2:45 to 6 pm, or Friday, Saturday night at any time, or Sunday afternoon... forget it. At least in this town. We have 10 taxi firms, and all of them are fully booked at these times.

sorry to hear your experiences colditz
I am with treacletart all the way
we got rid of our car 4 years ago and have not looked back (DD4 DS2).
yes, Online shopping for food with deliveries is key, and it makes a big difference if the buses round your way are 'push-on' style so you don't have to get the child out of the pushchair.
I have never found a taxi firm who do their own child seats, but you can get those really lightweight polystyrene ones which I always always take for DS. DD is just about big enough now to go in with the belt alone, but we do own a proper car seat for both of them for when we hire cars to go on holiday.
we hire a car about 4 times a year PLUS I have just joined a car club - is there one near you? basically they work by you becoming a member (may or may not have to pay a joining fee) then you book up a time and can use a shared communal car which is parked somewhere in your town. The one I am in costs about £5 an hour.
In total I think we save about £2.500 per year once you allow for the occasional car hire costs and taxis.

We've saved loads of money going down to one car as DH's insurance was always shocking and he drives 50mins to work so petrol's a big cost. Not to mention wear and tear, repairs, tax and parking permit for one of them.

It also keeps me fitter and stops me wasting fuel on stupid little trips I could easily walk. Plus, it's really hard to 'pop' into a shop when you've got babies/toddlers in the car.
Get hold of an A-Z of your area and have a look at how far things actually are (or aren't) - remember most people can walk 2miles in half an hour, even pushing a pram (ok not with a walking 2yr old )

My DS is coming up for 2 and I hate having to rely on DP all the time....am going to start driving again this summer but am crapping myself as I think Im a danger on the road!! But how else do I get here and there? Buses are always packed and full of coughers and sneezers....If I won the lottery I'd get a chaufer.

Thanks everyone, you've been really helpful. I'm pretty lucky with day to day things as I live right in the centre of town and am within 15 mins walk of supermarket, doctor, dentist, nursery, train station. It's trips further afield that worry me, having to lug a carseat onto the train for the sake of a 5 min taxi ride at the other end to my Grans house, for example! Unfortunately there's no car club round here (or i'd have got rid of my car sooner and joined - I think they're a great idea). But the buggy in the back of a london cab tip sounds pretty good, and I'll reassess my buggy/sling/carrier situation and invest in a local bus map!

Fastasleep (DW) drags our 24mnth DS and 5mnth DD around without a car all the time. Get a MClaren pram/stroller as they weigh nothing, good bus service is essential. Find a Hackney firm in your area for when you just cant face collapsing the buggy and shopping. Backpacks are great for taking round toddlers (if your feeling strong) or slings for the younger babes.

re your Gran - could you keep a carseat at her house, then the driver picks it up and meets you at the station?
sometimes it does all take a bit more planning without a car TBH