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Original poster

reading dh text messages....know I shouldn't but....

22 replies

coward · 07/03/2006 20:25

yes I know I shouldn't but I have. I have found some messages on there that make me feel that he isn't being honest with me. Don't get me wrong nothing sinister like an affair etc but ots just not adding up to what he tells me. If I talk to him he will know I have read them but how can I let him think he has pulled the wool over my eyes? can I let him get away with it?

OP posts:
mogwai · 07/03/2006 20:29

depends what it is...need to know more really?

red37 · 07/03/2006 20:32

Agree with mogwai

Original poster
coward · 07/03/2006 20:34

ok - dh finished work and went to his mums to pick the dog up. He phoned at 4.30 to say he was just setting off (they live about 10 minutes away). Nearly an hour later he wasn't home so I rang him and he said he had received a call from a place enquiring about him doing some work (he is a freelance worker) so he had gone to see them to talk about it.

Now reading his texts it seems that he had already arranged to meet a man who is his cover on his days off and they had gone to the pub. I get the feeling that there is more going on between them (professionally) that I am not being involved in. But how can I say that I knew it was pre arragned with out him knowing I have read the texts?

OP posts:
red37 · 07/03/2006 20:37

Would you confront him about it

compo · 07/03/2006 20:39

Why does it bother you if it's about work? Do you always know about his meetings (pre-arranged or not). Seems a bit of a wierd thing to get stirred up about or have I missed something?

Original poster
coward · 07/03/2006 20:42

it does bother me as I believe in an honest and open marriage and I think if he is self employed and responsible for supporting his family then I should also be involved as all decisions should be made as a couple irrespective of who does the work.

OP posts:
starlover · 07/03/2006 20:43

I have to say that would kind of annoy me... i mean, why lie about it?

helsi · 07/03/2006 20:50

me too but not sure how I would deal with it. if you went in all guns blazing saying something like "i think its time you told me whats going on between X and you and the jobs etc" then he would know something was up anyway wouldn't he? I think it should be raised but how to do it I do not know - anyone any ideas?

mogwai · 07/03/2006 20:53

has he come into money recently? In red and white bags marked "Securitas"??

Original poster
coward · 07/03/2006 20:54

He is not a crook - I only asked for advise on whether or not I should raise it and if I should how to do it without causing an huge row.

OP posts:
mogwai · 07/03/2006 21:02

it was a joke coward Grin

mogwai · 07/03/2006 21:02

jeeeeeesh

helsi · 07/03/2006 21:04

now now...maybe you should just ask him in conversation if there is anything progressed between this other person and him and whether everything is going alright with work. If he has any plans etc or big jobs coming up etc?

TambaTheDragonSlayer · 07/03/2006 21:08

I dont get all the secrecy tbh. I would just say "oi, i read your texts, whats going on with xxxx" not in an accusing way just in a normal conversation type way.

If dh's phone goes off and its nearest to me i will answer it / pick up the message.

Am I wierd?

starlover · 07/03/2006 21:10

ditto tamba! lol

colette · 07/03/2006 21:10

lol mogwai

cod · 07/03/2006 21:10

gdo i do
he kinda knows
it only if i am aroudn and ht phone goes

MrsSpoon · 07/03/2006 21:16

I would ask him too but then I go through DH's wallet and rummage around the car, finding bits and pieces and asking him when he was at McDonalds etc.

cod · 07/03/2006 21:18

haha YES and magnum wrappers

Passionflower · 07/03/2006 21:23

ditto tamba.

coward, why on earth do you think that your DH is keeping work stuff secret? I reckon it is probably more that he didn't want you to know he was going to the pub for a beer.

If you want to bring the subject up say that someone mentioned seeing him in the pub with work buddy and you thought that was strange because he told you he was quoting for a job. Then see what he says.

crazydazy · 07/03/2006 21:26

I would ask but I am just a suspicious person anyway and am always asking him about texts etc...he always comes up smelling of roses too Angry

kama · 07/03/2006 21:32

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