why do counselling when mumsnet exists? Part 1

[letsseewhathappensnext]

Confessional thread. Or cathartic maybe?

Who knows, lets see what happens.

On this thread I'm gonna have a look at stuff from my past that I find it a little hard to get my head around.

I tried a counsellor but she just sat there and let me speak. She said nothing, really. That's no good! I can speak to any nutter if I just want someone to shut the fuck up. Bu that's really not what I wanted. If I'm talking to myself I might as well do it here, for free, and maybe get the insight of you lovely people?!

OK, some highlights I may cover .. the synopsis ...

Taking crack for a while, (and getting out of it - quite proud of that!).

Being in two abusive relationships. And getting out of them, but not so quickly so not so proud of that.

Being a mum to a lovely boy now, very proud of that.

Being born very clever and with a great start in life, but deliberately, systematically destroying it as I just wanted to fit in.

OK, that's enough for now. There's more, bit later ...

If you want to join in, that's lovely. But if not that's fine, I'm gonna keep on talking to myself anyway :)

Never got round to telling the counsellor about the crack actually.
So mumsnet is winning from the start :)

Counsellors listen to what you say to start with. The idea is for you to fill the silence - that way you open up and spill more than you might have initially thought you were prepared for and the counsellor takes note of what you say, saves it up for later and leads you to look at the things highlighted by often throwaway comments. If you got immediate responses, you'd focus down onto that one thing you started with (which is often, not always, peripheral, trivial even) and may never get beyond it.

But - different people like different approaches. There are different types of counselling and while I LOVE MN for the support and advice it can offer, it's not in the same category as counselling, where advice is the last thing that should ever enter the relationship.

So if you're after opening your heart and spilling, go for it - others may share, others may advise - but it won't have the same effect as counselling.

Well done on getting out of your bad situations in the first place, that's great! Do you know why you got into them? Do you know why you pushed the self-destruct button?

Thumbwitch thanks for the lovely, thoughtful reply. Good food for thought. It's my bedtime
Back tomorrow with a thought out reply.

you're welcome - have fun! :)

Agree with what thumbwitch said above.

I tried counseling but from the first session I knew that I could never be there for the long run.
I found it so extremely boring and after 2 sessions, the therapist herself said "but it seems you know exactly what's wrong and how to deal with it so really its up to you if you want to come back!"
That was it. I started a journal instead and it's great going back to the journals randomly. I have a fresh perspective very time I look at them.

If you are not worried about being outed in RL by the information you give here, go for it. You'll have lots of different views and that may help you put things in perspective.
You do sound like none of what you mention are issues anymore, but still, you sure you an handle what may come your way from Mners?

Interesting I have been considering counselling on and off (and intending to post on here lol)

I think my therapist gaslights me.