DH "forgot" to tell me that my Mum's partner had died!

[VeryAngryIndeed]

Have changed my name for this one.

My Mum rang me on Friday night, all huffy, saying "I thought you might have phoned to see when the funeral was." I was absolutely clueless as to what she was on about, and she said that her partner had died suddenly on Tuesday morning. She had phoned on Tuesday evening and had left a message with DH, which he had forgotten to pass on. I confronted him with this when he came in and all he said was "Oops."
I was really angry, and he finally did apologise, but in a really huffy way - "OK, I apologise - is that better now?"

But it wasn't and he has shown no remorse all weekend. I know he can be forgetful at times, but how important does the message have to be before he can remember to pass it on?

VAI you are one of life's copers I'm sure. You must love that man an awful lot and I hope he is worth it. Having read the thread I was hoping I would come up sith something postive to say to you, but it is eluding me - so be happy with your kids and do something for your Mum ASAP.
As for the man ...... well only you will know what is best to do to him

Oh, VAI - really sorry, this puts you in a horrible position.

Sorry - there are no excuses fro him at all. He didn't need to kow the guy to know what effect it would have on your Mum and on you. Your poor Mum - he has robbed you of the opportunity to help her, and left her without support.

And I'm with Kama - being a man is no excuse at all for this.

Can't suggest anything that will help - just angry on your behalf, too!

Go to the funeral anyway, and make DH pay for the increased air fare as it's his fault? I think it would be good to do everything you wou8ld have done if you had known at the time, otherwise the damage he has done is exacerbated. But make him pay!!

I am breadwinner so ultimately the money for the flight would come from me anyway. I am going to tell him he has to ring my Mum and apologise and make a donation to charity from his own pocket. Think my Mum's sister will go with her to the funeral, so I'll go over in a week or so to spend some time with my Mum. It's very sad. He was such a lovely man.