How do you dissolve a massive toilet-blocking poo?

[SilkStalkings]

That's it really, dd's constipation is back. My first thought is washing up liquid perhaps, to work on the fat particles. Can't face going at it with a knife just yet.

I've had to unblock the loo with my hand covered in carrier bags before. Gag

Can you fish it out and bury it in the garden?

Rubber glove and crumble it! Come on woman! :)

Did it! Found an old toothbrush in the end and used the handle to slice it up into bitesize pieces (where's the puke emoticon?)
Bizarrely the Cillit Bang did manage to change the colour of the top half but that wasn't the effect I was after obviously.
The wonders of the human body, eh?

Will never forget the time I did an almighty shite, wouldn't flush, laughed, wouldn't flush, grin, wouldn't flush, grin fading into slight panic, more flushing, poo still there stubborn as fuck, only one toilet and our friends were due round for the evening. We has recently been on hols, ripped the side of cardboard box of duty free fags, and chopped the bastard up with it, flush going, flush, going, flush, gone, phew! Good luck op!

Yay!

Oh God, DD did this when she was little, it was before I was on here, I tried everything, had no coat hangers so cut a branch off my Christmas tree and used that.
I still have the same Christmas tree and DD will be 11 this year

Argghhhh! Toothbrush?

I get a bucket full of water, press flush on the toilet and throw the bucket of water in at the same time quickly. Always works every time no matter how big the blockage.

Am I the only one wondering what OP's dd has been eating ?

Cement sandwiches are about the only thing I can think of that would create such a nightmare poo.

"Christmas tree"

HA HA HA HA HA HA!! Too funny

I so want to try Cillit Bang on the next turd I come across now.

I might go for a tie dye effect.

Yes, said old toothbrush is now out in the bin.

DD's poo is v susceptible to change if she doesn't drink enough and lately DS2 has worked out how to climb up and steal all the dried fruit bars, purees and smoothies I have to supplement her normal diet with. Have ordered cupboard locks and put her back on Movicol for the week!

I'd wondered where ds1's love of toilet humour came from. NOW I know. PMSL.

Honestly the bread stick is a great idea - because I flushed it directly and no shitty drips/carrying a poo stick out to bin in view of neighbours.

Boiling water and soda. If that doesn't work boiling water after liquid parafin - greases the sides. If the blockage is deeper down we get some very potent stuff from the local hardware store. It's purple, corrosive and has a skull and crossbones on it so very dangerous but you just scoop out as much water as possible, pour it in carefully, watch the steam rise and wait for the bubble before everything moves down and away from beyond the line of vision. Can't remember what it's called though.

A friend of mine once used a potato masher

Oh so gross. oh so funny.

Hahahahahahaha

Literally LOL at breadsticks! The next time there's a thread asking how you know if you're MC, THAT is what I am quoting!

Christmas tree is also good

Thank the universe for mumsnet! Just had to tackle 10 ds stubborn stuck poo! Hot water from great height with washing powder did the trick! Vile vile vile. Been reading this thread to DH whilst doing it, been in fits of laughter at all posts!

HOWLING at using branch of Christmas tree Brilliant

@ breadsticks and bits of Christmas tree to break up poo logs! Arf.

just thought i would share with you that I forgot downstairs loo was blocked - had poured some bleach down in vain attempt to unblock - rushed in and curled one before I remembered!! Then I had to cover my hand with a plastic bag and pick it out and then dig deeper.....and down there among the plenteous shite was......a face flannel!!! it was so gross, there's a plastic bag full of shite down the garden now!!
I tipped in a bag of soda crystals....
Oddly I haven't felt like eating tonight.
Now what do I do with the plastic bag full of shite tomorrow???

Lidlqueen OMG!!

Is this the Poo Troll come to wish us Merry Xmas ?

Mumsnet seasonal quiz question "What do breadsticks, Christmas trees, wire coat hangers and toothbrushes have in common?"