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Travelling on the Tube

19 replies

udar · 12/12/2003 10:14

I'm feeling rather positive about it all this morning and wanted to share my renewed faith in London human behaviour.
I'm only 24wks pregnant, people are always telling me how tiny my bump is yet I have been given seats twice this week on the tube even though I don't feel I need them. Granted both were in the evening, not in the morning.
The first was a female and I said I was alright (I only live 5 stops from work) and ended up getting a seat at the next stop.
The second was last night on the way home from the gym (still in my gym clothes too) when a gentleman offered up his seat, when I said it was OK & I didn't have far to go he stood up and then said 'you may as well take it.'
I feel as though if I take advantage now, when I do need to sit down no-one will offer up seats, but if I don't take them it is setting a bad president.
Anybody else have an opinion?

OP posts:
twiglett · 12/12/2003 10:29

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Azure · 12/12/2003 10:30

When I was pregnant with DS I was amazed and delighted to find that people offered seats for the majority of journeys I went on. I almost always accepted (my journey was 7 stops) to show appreciation. A couple of months ago I was on the tube reading some child-rearing book and a man offered me his seat - as I wasn't actually pregnant, it must have been a "fat" day .

Hulababy · 12/12/2003 10:44

I would accept and thank them for offering. It is nice to hear that courtesy still exists! Make the most of it while you can. I had to stand up on the Metro in Newcastle with DD (20 months) held in my arms, with a bag the other day and no one offered a place to sit at all, other than an old lady of about 80+ - no way could I make her stand up but I did say thank you for offering loudly. Didn't make anyone else offer though

Crunchie · 12/12/2003 11:09

Azure surely it was just common courtesy, you were a woman and he was kindly offering you a seat. I am not pg at the mo, but I still expect gentlemen to offer a seat and not fight me to get to it first, that is just manners!

When I was pg I found I usually did get offered a seat and I would always gratefully take it (gym clothes or not ) Simply beacuse it is only polite. It really irritates me when women (pg or not) who get snippy when a gentleman offers his seat, I have seen this happen and it leaves me feeling that man will not be so quick to offer in the future!

aloha · 12/12/2003 11:17

Definitely accept gracefully. Why would accepting a seat now mean it won't happen in the future???
BTW I never hestitated to ask if I felt I needed to sit down.

Metrobaby · 12/12/2003 11:25

I've always felt too shy to ask - I never know what to say. But then end up fuming on the journey The worst offenders are those people who actually recognise a pg woman and then hide behind their paper double quick.

The other day however, a man standing up actually asked if I would like a seat - he was prepared to ask someone for me. I was really touched by his chilvery.

Davros · 12/12/2003 11:43

It is difficult when you're not sure if someone is pg or not and you don't want to offend them! I would always offer my seat to someone elderly or incapacitated in some other way. I also always let people go ahead of me in the supermarket if they've only got 2 or 3 things and I hold doors open. ALl regardless of whether someone is female or male.

prufrock · 12/12/2003 11:52

I don't know how you all cope - I had to get the tube from Canry Wharf yesterday evening and nobody offered me a seat - and I have a huge, visible bump. A guy standing next to me actually jumped into a seat ahead of me when one became available! But I didn't have the balls to say anything!

dejags · 12/12/2003 12:02

When I was pregnant with DS - I developed a bump at an incredible pace. By 20 weeks pregnant I looked at least 7 months. I still had to hang my belly in peoples faces on the train (I have no shame) before I was offered a seat.

I had a couple of incidents where people didn't offer me a seat and the other woman standing next to me had a go at the seated men.

A couple of weeks later a guy who was a regular on my carriage offered to "keep me a seat", throughout the rest of my pregnancy he would get on the train (4 stops before me) and keep the seat for me until I got on. How sweet was that?

Chivalry lives...

jimmychoos · 12/12/2003 16:37

I lived in London during my first pregnancy and regularly travelled on the tube to work. If I needed to sit down I would just 'announce' to the carriage that I was preg and needed a seat. Lots of people always jumped up immediately. I think most people travelling on the tube develop tunnel vision as a kind of defence mentality - they are so focussed on getting to where they want to go and are really not aware of the other people around them. I remember being mortified when I looked up from my book once and saw a very frail old lady standing up virtually in front of my seat. Also - I have been on the verge of offering a seat to people but have not been absolutely sure whether the 'bump' was preg-related or not and hadn't wanted to offend.....

LIZS · 12/12/2003 16:55

jimmychoos

I had to do the same on my commute from Surrey. In fact I got so p**d off that I would go into first class for the journey home and wait to be challenged (never was). My last day at work at around 35 weeks I stood all the way of my 40 minute journey, on a packed train, because all those with seats hid behind their newspapers and by then I had lost the will to ask.

Azure · 12/12/2003 17:08

Crunchie - it may have just been courtesy, although there were a number of other people standing. I was appreciative and accepted the seat, but my first assumption was that I had looked big!

lisac · 12/12/2003 17:21

I've had to brave the Northern Line for both of my pregnancies. First time round I used to be as obvious as possible, and then get really annoyed (and sometimes upset) if no-one responded.

Second time round I'd just march up to the nearest priority seat and ask its occupant to let me sit down. Worked very well, apart from the time the quite heavily pregnant lady already occupying the seat just stared at me in amazement (I hadn't even looked properly). Oops.

fisil · 12/12/2003 18:58

Once everyone crowded on and cos I was lumbering they nicked all the seats before us. I was so tired I knew I'd cry if I talked - so Dp said "can someone let my partner have a seat please."

So many people jumped up, that nearly made me cry too. Then when I'd got into a seat, the guy next to me insisted on standing so that dp could sit down too. Dp said thanks, but he didn't need it, but the lovely guy said "yes, but she needs you"

Sweet!

twiglett · 12/12/2003 19:08

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suzywong · 12/12/2003 20:07

fisil that is lovely and a real faith-restorer

I agree with jimmychoos, just announce it or got right up to the youngest looking man and say 'Excuse me would you be kind enough to give me your seat. please, I'm pregnant' . I got a few grudging grunts as they got up but mostly embarassed 'Oh, sure' .

And one should always accept an offer as it encourages the habit for the next really pg woman.

And if anyone refuses start to blub

eidsvold · 12/12/2003 20:58

I have had to travel the tube with dd - obnce was when we had to take her to hospital for her surgery -w e had her in the carry seat as she was so tiny and fragile and everyone looked at us and then looked down at their feet. I was too angry to ask..... mind you they kept trying to stare at dd with her nasal gastric tube and apnoea monitor.

However - coming back from Flora light challenge - dh was loaded up like a pack horse and I had dd (13mths old) and a backpack as well. At one stop a young guy almost sent me flying in his quest to get a seat so I glared at him and in my loudest snottiest teacher voice said EXCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSe me.... However an elderly gentleman got up and offered me his seat . I felt bad taking it but in a packed tube had they braked for whatever reason dd and I would have gone flying down the middle as I could only hang on with one hand. I felt better when he got off at the next stop.

Dd got her revenge - she awoke and tried to grab the young man's sweater - to which he turned to glare at me .. how dare I let my dd touch him. In my best stage whisper - I told dd not to touch that man's jumper she does not know where it has been. Petty I know but he could have sent dd and I flying and he did not care as long as he got a seat.

So to all you pregnant woman - go for it - loud excuse me this seat is priority seating - point to the sign above their head, ask politely but firmly and take full advantage when someone does offer a seat.

mieow · 12/12/2003 21:10

When I was 33 weeks pregnant with DD2 we went to GOS hospital with DS1, and I went into labour (only me!!!) we got the train from kings cross and I was having contractions every 5-10 minutes and noone offered me a seat, DH had to ask someone to give up their seat for me. Unbelieveable eh???

suzywong · 12/12/2003 21:12

these last few posts are incredible!!!
What are these people thinking of? Or didn't their parents bring then up properly ... now there's a thought

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