teenagers travelling in cars driven by other teens..should they be stopped

[zippitippitoes]

from doing it..

ds is 17 (nearly 18)and some of his friends have cars and have passed their tests, not surprising as he goes to school in a rural area and the public transport is poor

so against my maternal judgement I accept that he has lifts with them

but I've just discovered that his school has a rule saying they mustn't go in friends cars

which explains why he has said to me a few times say you are picking me up

I can see why they have this rule but in real terms its easier for him to go with friends some of the time

what do you think

why should they be stopped? several of my friends had cars when I was 17, used to get lifts all the time. don't understand what the problem is??

well, they are old enough to drive aren't they? They've had lessons and passed their tests.

I'm sure I will be bricking it when ds is that age though

Do schools normally have that kind of rule?

I gave people lifts when I was 17 and drove.

Odd rule imo but I can see that showing off might lead to dangerous stuff. I still don't think it's really the school's place to police this, there's nothing illegal going on after all. I did see someone in a car yesterday and say 'my god, surely he's not old enough to drive' but actually, I'm sure he was, it's just policemen seeming young syndrome, i.e. I'm old!

I musat say I was a bit taken aback as they rang yesterday to say a) where was he (he's a boarder but I'd sent a fax in saying he could stay with a friend who is a day student)

and b) how was he getting to her house

so I said I expect he has had a lift and the reply was oh so he jumped in friend's car I will have to speak to him about that as it is against the school committee ruling

the school is in the middle of nowhere, small village about 7 miles from the nearest town

Lots of schools have a ruling about not being driven to and from school. I think many teenagers leave school during free periods and this might make things more difficult for the school should there be an accident. My niece was involved in a nasty accident when she and her friends were being driven by a boy who had recently passed his test - he approached a roundabout at speed and went straight into the middle of it.

isn't it better for the school to have e.g. four 6th-formers in one car than four different parental cars blocking the road in front of school, snarling up the traffic etc?

Round here (pretty rural too) the parents drive just as fast as the boy racers, so not sure why the school is so worried if it's anything like that.

yoyo, if you get a lift to school with your parents, what's to stop you getting in your mate's car during a free period?

statistically, a teen driver w/teen passengers is more likely to be involved in an accident. so much so, that in some states in the US, a teen driver is prohibited from driving w/more than one teen passenger.

Seems ridiculous - if they can legally drive what's the problem

I can see more problems arising from having a rule which they are going to find a way round to be frank..so although one part of me has always had a worry about young people driving friends when they lack experience, car more difficult to control, distraction etc I know that in practice they will do it anyway and banning it will just encourage slyness.

At least one of his friends has written off a car, and same with dds but other than warning of drinking, ice. overloading speeding, showing off etc I feel that it is inevitable while it's legal

but I'm interested to know what others think

adults write off cars too...

If you can convince them that they need to wear a seatbelt, avoid getting in if there are too many passengers, not get in if the driver's had a drink (even if they say it's only one...) etc that is pretty good going imho.

Zippiti - is it more problematic because of being a boarder? The HMs being "in loco parentis"? It is difficult and I agree that if you have passed your test then that should suffice. I can also remember what it was like to be a tenager and bunk off in a car with too many others though.

CarolinaMoon - I can't see why one parent couldn't take more than one child to school if there was no school transport available. No need to block roads either (park at a distance and get them to walk if need be).

At SD's school, we had to sign permission slips as to whose cars they were alloewed to be passengers in, and to whom they could give a lift to.

I don't think it was strictly monitored, even though there was always a techer on duty in the car park and could see who was getting to which car.

Interestingly, DD's school only got us to sign a permission slip so she could drive to school.

We did ask our children not to have passengers for a month after they passed their tests, particularly as they both passed in 5 weeks, and only 10 lessons. We felt they hadn't got enough experience and it would be distracting.

I was concerned about other peoples children. we have had far too many teenage fatal crashes in our city in the last three years, all teenage boys, four up in a small car.

DS also wrote his car off after a month, on his own, 50 yards from our house, slippy road, wet, lots of leaves, country lane, down the embankment into a neighbours fence. Total write off and he was unmarked, lucky, but a lesson learned.

He has done 10000 miles in one year, DD has done 10000 in three years!

yoyo, I meant that rhetorically

I really don't get why the school is trying to stop adults (or near enough) getting into cars with people who are legally able to drive. Do they think they'll get sued if there's a crash? On what grounds?

I think it applies to both day and boarders, but as i hadn't heard of ity until yesterday I can't be sure..

I wouldn't have thought the school could be held responsible in any way, unless it was transport to a school organised event

I just know with ds that this sort of rule makes him underhand

I always do worry when they go with friends but I think his friends are responsible if lacking in experience

dd1 has a friend who is a formula 3 driver and he had these skyline cars and managed to write off three

I wouldn't allow my eldest dd into any cars with male teen friends when they passed their tests, they were death on wheels. Yes, adults write cars off too, but these lads were unable to recognise hazards, and unable to deal with hazards when they happened. I know it's just lack of experience, but I didn't want any of them experimenting on my dd.

My other dds decided for themselves whether they would get into cars with friends - some of their friends were also boy/girl racers, but my dds very sensibly judged whether they felt safe. They were very vocal (with other like-minded friends) as to why they wouldn't get into cars with some of them.

All my dds passed their tests when they were 17, and I had to trust that they would be sensible. Unfortunately, other road users might not be, and it's hard knowing that your babies are learning that, and might come off badly.

Carolina - yes, these teenagers (including mine) may have all passed their tests, but it really doesn't mean that they are safe drivers. I asked the parents I childmind for how they would feel allowing one of my dds to drive their child (just to see their reaction!) and not one of them would have allowed it!!

zippi - I would also assume that the school have taken the stance that it's better safe than sorry. I think he should be allowed to go with whoever you give permission for him to go with.

ThePrisoner, I wouldn't let ds's teenage uncles drive him anywhere either .

But I'm intrigued about how you know about these boys' ability to recognise hazards. Have you been in their cars??

Didn't need to be in their cars - would see them driving at speed of light past primary school whilst people crossing road, screeching around corners, pulling out at junction in front of others etc. etc. My dds would regale me with tales from others who had made the mistake of getting in their cars (and wouldn't make the same mistake again).

We all have to learn to drive at some time, we all have to learn through experience once we've passed our tests, but some of these 17 year olds defied belief (writing cars off within a month of passing their tests was nothing new!)

I dont agree that it should be stopped.

You can have some pretty "mad" 25+ year olds, and very sensible teenagers so why judge them all the same way

BTW at 18 my exBF was in a severe car crash... driven by his 17 year old friend who had passed just 3 days before. The car hit a tree then rolled alot into the ditch.... 2 of the boys broke there backs, and all were injured. Thankfully they were all wearing seatbelts which saved their lives

Those in the back had to be cut out by the fire brigade. Was a pretty nasty xcrash. Also i think this accident (where they had gone for a drive in their lunch break) taught the whole school a lesson!

I can see the schools point of view but it could be equally dangerous to let the kids be driven by an elderly relative, say, whose reactions are no longer as sharp as they could be. Every week there seems to be a story in our local paper about an elderly driver involved in a crash. Recently an 88 year old was featured! (not saying it was his fault, mind)

Near where I used to live, in Harrogate, four sixth-form girls were killed in an accident - I think the car had gone off the road into a ditch, they all got out unharmed, then the car exploded iirc - again, four teens in a car, newly passed their test, driving during the school lunch hour

Can see their reasoning but can also see why it isn't working! Am very surprised that they didn't inform you of the rule zippi - can hardly expect to get backup from the parents if they don't know what the rule is!