No effing friends....woe is me....wtf is wrong with me?

[giraffeski]

I'm really blooming down tonight.
I sat at mums and toddlers today on my own, realising that although I have made all these superficially friendly acquaintances since I moved here nearly a year ago, I don't have any close friends, nobody who can just nip round for lunch or coffee, except for a few of my 'old' friends, who don't have children, and who I hardly ever see because of their busy effing social and work lives.

I feel really inadequate as a mother, too, as i just lay on the sofa under a blanket the whole afternoon, and ignored dd, who was being good as gold, poor lamb.
Dp took her to the park in the end but i still couldn't get off my arse and i was still there when he went out an hour ago.

Plus I haven't been on Mumsnet for ages either so I haven't had the support there.

And my MSN isn't working.

I'm just so so knackered since I started working shifts, and my body clock is so f***d up from the nights, that i think i might be slipping back into depression again (and believe me, I don't want that).

Plus, I bought a home highlighting kit yesterday to try and cheer myself up, but had to send DP out to the 24 hour Tesco at quarter to midnight for cover up dye.

It was THAT bad.

Toddler groups are completely mad anyway.......run in the most part by quite mad pple as well (hope not offending anyone) I once had a toddler group leader follow me in the loos to get a toy train my son had taken and I hadn't even noticed myself. Lordy.

Hub, I might try and see about the child swapping idea you know, but not sure if thats kind of like trying to make friends? Maybe on the same level.

But it is a good idea.
As is the common ground one.
I did try and discuss rock climbing with a mum who revealed herself by wearing a pRana top but it was all polite convo really.

God, why am I so shit at this? I used to be really good at making friends.

Hub, you've met me, did i come on too strong or something?
Did i smell?

You ponged.

Nah. You were sound. dd's also fab, and you don't produce quality giraffe stock by being an arse.

I think the child swap is not really at all about 'trying' to make friends... it's more finding someone you think has sound parenting approach (ie. similar in style / attitude) to yourself, and then helping each other out to stay sane, LOL... conceivably you wouldn't actually see this person for fab social events because they'd be minding your child or vice versa IYSWIM !

Get yeself down to the nearest climbing wall then and meet a whole new set of friends - possibly childless - who just might want to go out for a drink one evening or whatever.

I would guess, as a UN observer, that you've simply spent 3 years being an amazing mum for your child, and are out of practice with 'non child' stuff. Doubtless if you implement a few of the ideas (rock climbing / craft / knitting nutters etc.) you will find your wit and charm will dazzle...

... possibly the other mums at the M&T are too stuck in child land to grasp the wonderful conversation / social opportunities you have secreted in your tots bots wrap ?

Girrafeski re "I sat at mums and toddlers today on my own, realising that although I have made all these superficially friendly acquaintances since I moved here nearly a year ago, I don't have any close friends, nobody who can just nip round for lunch or coffee" - it took me three years to get beyond this and make 'proper' friends when I moved to my current address. Persevere - it will happen (sorry if 3 years sounds like a life sentence!)

Also, we all have days when we ignore the lo's and leave them to their own devices. You're doubtless being way too hard on yourself.

If any of you are near me in Dorset, I'd be happy to chat with you and meet up with you.

Sorry to hear you feel like this. Are you still coming to the Stockport meet up (think it was you I am thinking of!!) on 17th?

yes am still coming to the meet hopefully, unless i am unexpectedly working.

Thank you everyone who has been so nice to me, maybe I am expecting too much of people too soon, and just need to keep perservering.

Ar.