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Original poster

Is this really bad?

13 replies

noddyholder · 28/02/2006 17:40

I have a younger brother(37)we have always been fairly close and he donated a kidney to me in 2000.He was a heroin addict for years but came off it but started smoking massive amounts of cannabis instead(we didn't know this) and has since been diagnosed with cannabis induced psychosis(a big warning to all those who think dope is harmless) He goes through periods when he imagines things and they are always really nasty relating to me or one of my family getting seriously hurt by people who are watching us(I know!)I am usually supportive but this time he has gone too far and I don't want to help him I just hope he gets sectioned again and they sort it out.He is saying I better watch my back and ds and I are in danger and will be killed and although I know it is 99% rubbish he still freaks me out.I really feel like just distancing myslf from him for a while as I can't cope with any more of it and it is making me ill I feel so bad because of what he did for me but tbh he is not even the same person he was then and his demands are starting to wear me down.He is saying he wants to live in my house and I just don't need that Sorry for the ramble I just needed to get it off my chest as dp is sick to death of it as all the help we have ever given him has always been thrown back at us

OP posts:
Original poster
noddyholder · 28/02/2006 18:23

.

OP posts:
JennyLee · 28/02/2006 18:57

I know how you feel a little bit my brother just had a psychotic episode induced by cannabis and he has said things that have changed our family for ever and I detest him for it.

flibertygibbet · 28/02/2006 19:03

I don't know you and I've ever been in this situation but it sounds to me like you can't handle this alone. You need to protect your DS and your brother sounds pretty dangerous to be around at the moment. Do you have other family to take some of the load for a while?

trice · 28/02/2006 19:04

poor guy. I think there is only so much you can do for him though. I hope he gets the help he needs.

Have you contacted any bof the mental health charities? the have relative support sections which may help you to help him.

choccywoccydoodaa · 28/02/2006 19:07

This must be a very tricky situation - I understand how you may feel beholden to your brother but you must not allow this man into your house - the risks are just too high. Your brother needs some professional help.

Mhamai · 28/02/2006 19:14

Oh Noddy how upsetting for you, I have a sister who had a psychotic episode [schzophrenia] shortly after my mums sudden death. It can be very distressing to watch a loved one when this is happening, I think for your own sanity and wellbeing you will have to step back and hopfully when he's more stable you can resume contact, I really feel for you on this. Sad

hovely · 28/02/2006 21:16

so sorry to hear this noddy. it must be so horribly tough to be torn by conflicting feelings and guilt in this situation.
tried googling a few family support type websites for you, any of these any use?
\link{http://www.famanon.org.uk/\famanon}
\link{http://www.familydrugsupport.com/\familydrugssupport}
\link{http://www.acad.org.uk/\acad}

winnie · 28/02/2006 21:27

noddy, in answer to your question: no, how you feel is not really bad. You have to maintain your own sanity and safety and that of your child. There is mental illness in my family so I have an understanding. Don't feel bad there is only so much you can do.

Original poster
noddyholder · 01/03/2006 06:58

Thanks for your messages of support .I just want to clarify that we aren't at risk as all these things always turn out to be paranoid delusions when he comes out of an episode of this but I am just fed up with it and want to wipe my hands of him He has been ringing everybody this time as last night he really lost it and so I am letting them deal with it

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WideWebWitch · 01/03/2006 07:02

Well, first of all, don't let him live in your house but I think you know that! I suggest calling \link{http://www.mind.org.uk/\Mind,} who might be able to give you some advice. I agree, cannabis isn't always harmless, I know someone who had psychosis triggered by it too.

tigermoth · 01/03/2006 07:39

Please don't feel bad about this - I think there is only so much you can do before it's a case of professional help and, as you say, sectioning.

Does your brother live alone? would it be easier to visit him or meet outside somewhere - perhaps at a set time each week. You are then getting him out of your house (and away from your son). You might find it easier to feel more in control of the visits, as you can make a quick exit if things get too much.

dh had a friend like this - he had been really kind to dh in the past, but became very unstable and demanding as he got older. It was very difficult to decide when enough was enough.

Original poster
noddyholder · 01/03/2006 07:46

My brother lives in Ireland so not even the same country but has a habit of turning up saying if I don't let him stay with us it will be my fault if he ends up in trouble He always goes home though but I feel this time if he comes over he won't and so I just need to say no from the start.He is also a master of playing the system so we are never really sure what his motives are and he appears perfectly reasonable in front of doctors etc The truth is he wants to live with either me or my mum and just drift through life with us paying and looking after him and that will never happen.At one time or another we have all really supported him but no one wants to help now which is sad but true.He has NEVER taken any advice or tried anyhting to help himself so we are all tired

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AggiePanther · 01/03/2006 07:47

Hi don't feel bad about it ... you are distancing yourself from the illness not from your brother - when he is more stable you can rethink the situation- but he certainly sounds like he needs a psych reassessment

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