I'm writing this thread as I have a massive thanks to say to a number of Mumsnetters who have been incredibly kind and supportive over the last 6 weeks while I have been ill and incredibly needy. To say they went above and beyond the call of duty is putting it mildly. There was at least one occasion where I'm not all together sure if I'd have got through it without their support.
Its not been an easy decision to write this thread as it is highly personal and also deals with a difficult subject, but I've decided to be open about why they have had to be so supportive to try in my own small way break the taboo about mental illness.
In early May 2012, I was admitted into an acute psychaitric ward with severe depression. It was the best thing for me as frankly it saved my life. I have been in hospital for just over 6 weeks and am now on home leave before my final discharge. I'm still not well, but am well enough to face the real world and try to get my life back on track. I'm dealing with having being diagnosed with Bipolar II which is a life long illness that I will need to adjust to, being away from my small children and DH for so long, integrating back into the family and all of the stresses that come about with a long stay in a secure unit, including the incredible guilt at knowing that at one point I was prepared to leave my children motherless.
When I was admitted, I wasn't sure about whether to tell anyone as you never know how people will react, but I did tell some Mumsnetters and their help has got me through the darkest time of my life.
I don't want to list all of their names in case the want to remain anonymous, but they are welcome to name themselves on here if the want to, and I hope that they will so people can know how amazing they have been to me. Anyway, to the #radfemnuthousecollective I would like to say thank you.
Thank you for the flowers that brightened up my room and always seemed to arrive when I was at a low point, to pull me out of my horrible mood and make the day more bearable.
Thank you for the cards and the letters and the postcards that made me feel cared for and wanted and for sharing yourselves with me in that way.
Thank you to the mumsnetters living abroad, who through the wonders of the internet managed to get chocolates and puzzle books from Europe and the other side of the world to a secure unit in the UK.
Thank you to the two mumenetters who within minutes of me being admitted were on the phone to the ward to find out when they could come to visit me. Thank you for doing that, for turning up unexpected when I was at my lowest, despite all of your own worries and demands and making me feel that in some way my life was worthwhile.
Thank you for the Dempsey and Makepeace Activity book that made my laugh so fucking hard that it was noted in the ward notes (patient experienced period of hysterical laughter on recepit of gift).
Thank you to all of you who have listened to me being needy and ranting and being an emotional vampire, and instead of turning away, gave me all of your support.
Thank you for anything I have forgotten due to being doped up on psych meds. You are all wonderful, wonderful people and I owe you all big time.
Thank you.