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Original poster

Did your parents give you their undivided attention?

28 replies

hunkermunker · 26/02/2006 21:53

Posted this on another thread:

If my mother had sat and played with me the whole time I'd have thought she was stark staring mad and I probably would've been too.

Children should be left alone and given the opportunity to be bored. There is too much pandering to the little blighters these days.


Made me think. DS1 (22mo) often plays by himself with me nearby but doing other stuff (cooking, cleaning - sometimes, reading, MNing ). Sometimes he's watching TV while he's playing. When I say often, I mean he does this every day we're at home for at least some of the day.

I feel no guilt for this - should I?

And did your parents sit with you playing? Mine did, but not all the time.

And if you're not allowed ever to be bored, you end up having to be entertained all the time - and that's the kind of rod my back doesn't need - lol!

OP posts:
Twiglett · 26/02/2006 21:54

not at all

and I totally ignore my children all the time .. so I must be uber-mum

lockets · 26/02/2006 21:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Twiglett · 26/02/2006 21:55

enjoyable article in yesterday's guardian about kids who are harried

starlover · 26/02/2006 21:55

nope... definitely not.
and i wouldn't have wanted it either... was far too busy outside being naughty most of the time

Sallystrawberry · 26/02/2006 21:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jenniferjuniper · 26/02/2006 21:57

dont think you should feel guilty at all - its exactly what i do ! i do play with ds and dd obviously but dd (3) is happy to play around me whilst im busy and sometimes tells me to go away if she playing with her imaginary friends !
pretty much the same style of parenting as i had

Original poster
hunkermunker · 26/02/2006 21:57

(have sent you one, SS )

OP posts:
Flossam · 26/02/2006 21:58

I end up wondering about this all to often. I have some kind of guilt complex about the time I spend with DS. Thing is, he is really very happy sitting/running playing on his own. That isn't necessarily a bad thing I don't think. But I always end up feeling I don't do enough. I try and avoid MN apart from nap time when we are in, but just menial tasks such as tidying up, cleaning, preparing food takes up so much of the day!

How are you all Hunker?

Original poster
hunkermunker · 26/02/2006 21:58

The should I feel guilty was said in tones of "will I hell" btw

OP posts:
WideAwake · 26/02/2006 21:58

My mum used to read to me and practice my handwriting but during the day I was always out of the house with my mates from 4 or so, those were the days.

jenniferjuniper · 26/02/2006 22:00

ds plays out all afternoon after school so is happy and dd wont let you near her peppa pig playhouse anyway so im guilt free

velcrobott · 26/02/2006 22:03

My only question to you Hunker - is the TV necessary, can you not put a CD on ? I just wonder sometimes as I know we didn't have a TV when I was a child and my mum didn't play with me much I am sure... she still doesn't
So is TV necessary - my kids do get offered TV every morning at WE and they are not bothered (I am not anti-TV) !!!! (And I so wish they would for my sake... though this AM they went in cupboards and decoiarted biscuits at 8AM... I was still in bed !!!!! so they clearly amused themselves!)

JackieNo · 26/02/2006 22:04

My mum used to put me and my sister in the playpen with records of musicals on to entertain us (presumably some toys as well). I now have word-perfect recall of all songs from 'The Sound of Music', 'Cabaret' and 'West Side Story' (well, OK, no longer word perfect, except for 'The sound of Music').

moonshine · 26/02/2006 22:06

I can't imagine my mum ever played with me, judging from her behaviour with my 2 and from memory.

Dh and I definitely put a lot of effort into playing with dd and we are still suffering the effects now. I now make a great effort to ignore ds (20 months) as much as possible but he still demands a fair amount of attention - don't know if it's just a personality thing or if he is copying his sister.

(Aside to HM - howdy neighbour - didn't realise our dsess were of a similar age! I need some pointers to integrate me into society in this neck of the woods please.)

chipmonkey · 26/02/2006 22:22

My dad used to get down on the floor with us and play brilliant games. He used to tell us great stories at night too about witches with red-rimmed eyes and green teeth who used to very nearly eat the children in the story but they were always saved by the blue fairy!(phew!) Mum was too busy making sure we ate and slept etc.

Tortington · 26/02/2006 22:23

i was never ignored. and i am a very strange person indeed.

JoolsToo · 26/02/2006 22:24

no - but was always encouraged

JoolsToo · 26/02/2006 22:24

and loved

Original poster
hunkermunker · 26/02/2006 22:48

VB, I do also put CDs on too - DS1's current favourites are Mozart, the Gorillaz and Pink/Blue Toothbrush...

But I'm afraid I'm not anti-TV - both DH and I earn our livings from the industry and I think if you're careful about what they watch, I don't think that it hurts or damages them in any way.

OP posts:
Original poster
hunkermunker · 26/02/2006 22:51

Moonshine, email me!

hunkermunker at gmail dot com

OP posts:
MarsOnLife · 26/02/2006 22:51

oh hinker.. nothing going on tonight? lol

I was really really lucky. My mother didn't do the constant entertainment thing. And I take after her with mine.

Flossam · 26/02/2006 22:53

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
hunkermunker · 26/02/2006 22:54

No, just trying to ignore JJ who seems to think I should feed him or something? Weird

OP posts:
soapbox · 26/02/2006 22:54

No way! From about the age of 5, during the holidays we went off exploring - might return home for lunch or might take some bottles to get the deposits back on to buy lunch with!

We played out in the culdesac we lived in all the time - from about 2 onwards. The youngest looked after by the older ones.

The babies were put in prams and the 11-12 year olds put in charge of them. Only took them home at feeding time!

The only time I remember mum playing with me was when I was ill - then she would sit and do jigsaws with me or play card games once I was older!

Original poster
hunkermunker · 26/02/2006 22:55

Bloody loads, Flossam

DS1's been being sick for 48 hours now

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