Why are women always so interested in the size of other people's babies? (on behalf of dh and a mate of his!)

[CountessDracula]

OK

Their email thread so far... (with names subsituted)

DH to friend:
Have XXX and YYY have their baby yet? If so please tell me sex and name. (I dont need to know birth weight thanks as I am not a woman although will no doubt be first question CountessDracula asks - why?

Friend to DH:
Women tend to be obsessed with weight in general. With babies there seems to be some moral element attached to the baby's weight too (i.e. too small and the mother must have been some vain self-starving neurotic who put her own appearance above her baby's health and too big means that she was some freakish peasant heifer who couldn't stop eating cheesecake long enough to consider that she wouldn't be able to squeeze her elephant child out of her vagina).

ZZZ was born yesterday at 10.20-ish a mere 4 hours after YYY's waters broke. 7lbs and many ounces. All are doing fine.

DH to friend:

I agree with your why size matters comments - you really are jolly wise indeed sometimes. Also, there is the sisterly flap/wince/pooing a melon out of front bottom factor, if you get my drift. Doubtless there is an illuminating thread on Mumsnet on the subject.

Well, is there?

Can't believe dh and mate discuss MN in their emails, saddos, shouldn't they be talking about tits or football or something?

CD, I don't know the answer to the question, but on a similar note, I was mightily amused when DH came back from evening down the pub with his best mate, two days before best mate's first-born was due, and told me they'd had an argument about Gina Ford!

LOL at this ..
but, seriously, interesting question. Lucky with dp if he can remember the sex of the child let alone the name and weight...

Think there is something in the too small = mother staved herself, too big = mother over indulged.....

Hmmm, I am very proud of telling people mine were 9lb 5 and 9lb 10, I get lots of ooooooooooooooooooooooh's and ahhhhhhhhhh's. No idea why.

And, I always say 'good weight!' whether they tell me 6lb or 10lb. Why?

Half of me thinks it's about threes. Good things come in chunks of three - two bits of information (name and sex) just isn;t enough. However the other half thinks that it's a non-intimate non-invasive question that might give you an inkling about what the birth was like. The biggest baby I ever knew about (over 10 pounds) came out of a very slim, healthy, girl whose entire weight gain was baby, placenta and boobs. I only think about respect when I hear about big babies, I certainly don't think of heffers.

because what else is there to say??? We have to say something and lets be honest, babies are reeeelly quite similar at first - weight is a distinguishing thing, something individual to them for people to talk about!

Always NEED to know weight but never to judge why (don't mean that to sound as emotive as it does but couldn't think of another word). I do say 'wow' to big babies..... don't usually hear of too many babies smaller than mine was - 4 lbs 9 oz - so they're mostly all big to me.

I didn't starve myself by the way nor feel ashamed at having a little baby (she adds touchyly.....)

Hahaha at this excerpt from their emails! Interesting! I just want to know, it's traditional to ask innit?

agree wtih sparklemagic, also there's not that much infomration that can be provided and we want to know as much as we can to maybe feel part of it - so name, sex and weight and maybe type of delivery are about as much as you can get.

Yes oo, when I tell people ds (baby 1) was 7lb and then dd was 9lb 8oz (baby 2) they always wince if they're women. As did I, obv.

HN I was 4 9, ds was 4 15 so I was just following in the family tradition of staving oneself ......

It's like the obsession with how much weight newborns gain once they're here and before they do anything other than look cute to their parents. It's all there is to them to begin with (except my gorgeous genius 5-week-old who is doing hard sums and can already play the flute).

CD, wondering whether we're married to the same man - v similar mindset!

God, I do this. No idea why really but I love telling people my twin DDs were 6.2 and 6.15 . Won't in future .

Maybe we do subconsciously think it reflects well on us - didn't we do well, kind of thing. And I always add "and they were 3 weeks early" yawwwwwwwn.

Now Sandyballs that is impressive BUT my consultant at time of small baby shocker, had had twins who were both 8 lbs .

Sandyballs, I would keep telling people if I were you!! I think if I had brought twins that size into the world I would be so proud I'd be stopping strangers in the street to tell them!!!!

lol lol - my best EVER conversation on this was in Salisbury with my 10 day old dd - walking along outside the Cathedral with dd in her pram looking very gorgeous and very new...

American Lady with VERY american twang - "Oh how gorgeous - how old is she?"

Me - "10 days"

Lady - "OH MY GOD!!!! How big was she?"

Me - "10lbs 2"

Lady - "OH MY GOD^!!!! Did you have a Caesarean?"

Me - (Couldn't resist) "No, I had a homebirth with no pain relief at all...."

Lady - on the point of fainting through shock "OH MY GOD" - at which point she had to go and sit down.

I do always want to know weights too though - don't know why. Love the emails CD!!!

We want to know all details though - step by step through the birth, placenta evacuation blah blah blah, who cut the cord, does the baby have any hair, weight, feeding regime. It's exhausting!

i think part of it is the tradition - name day/time and weight....

The SIL of one of DP's friends had twins who were both over 10lbs.

The midwife I told that too, a very lovely natural-birth sort of a girl, went white (she was black) and said, faintly, 'I damn well hope it was a C-section'.

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Yeah, Pruni, a small baby, I mean it's nothing getting one of those out, is it ?

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