Am I the only Mummy who refuses to pay over £100 for a childs birthday party?

[Northerner]

My ds will be 4 in April. It is the done thing to have a party at one of our local soft play centres or hire a hall and arrange food and entertainment. Ds goes to preschool and has loads of friends. It would cost me aout £175.

I think it's ridiculous to spend this on a 4 year old and think I will invite 8/10 of his friends round for a traditional birthday tea and party games and it will only cost me £30 or so.

However, he'll be the only child having this sort of party, do you think it will be exciting enough for them?

yes... it'll be different and they'll enjoy it.
I don't think kids need soft play and endless entertainment

Northener, yes, think he'll love it. That's exactly what we're planning for dd's 4th birthday in May. She is obsessed with Topsy And Tim's Birthday and wants tea outside and the milkman to bring orange juice.

Sounds lovely.

Didn't have birthday parties til ds 5th birthday. The softplay was more for my sake then his sake though. The thought of 8-10 children at home......

I think it will be fine tbh, so much more manageable. Most of the ones dd has been to (5th b'days) have been in halls with an entertainer or a fixed price per head package so not sure how we'll do hers but £175 still sounds a lot.

We did it for dd's 4th and 5th birthdays. I think there were 10 of them in total, they played loads of traditional party games and had a picnic tea (not a big enough table), just a rug on the floor picnic style. Perfect for catching all the crumbs then just scoop it up.
Everyone had a brilliant time and more than 1 said it was their favourite party that year. My biggest tip is plan for plenty of games. They may not want them but my guess is they will.
Well done for not bowing to pressure.

church halls can be hired out really cheaply...

all you need are food, party games and prizes...

rummums second tip of the day*
make sure everyone wins a medal/prize.... or there will be tears...

Although DD's party will cost more than that (we have a fair few invited as whilst she is still at preschool age we also use it as a reason to invite our friends with children and celebrate asa family), the actual Hall cost is just £30 for 3 hours. There is no way I would want a party at my house right now, hence paying to not be there!

Managed to keep it down to about £60 including party bags,cake,etc this year. It was at a ball pit but we kept the numbers down.
That was for 2 children, I have DS twins, much cheaper

I think its a good idea.

My top tip is to have a really tight theme to the party and focus all the games, decorations, music etc on it. Also have several adults ready to help organise the kids for games, prepare the food and look after any strays who want mummy or need the toilet !

The mummies of dd's class (she's 5) seem to be trying to out-do each other on who can throw the cheapest party. One of them didn't even bother to provide a cake. Dd was most put out but I'd rather it be this way than renting ponies, etc.

Northerner we did this with ds up to his fourth birthday. For the last two (4 and 5) we've hired a hall just because he wanted more kids to come but the principles have been the same. We always have a theme, we always have a pin the xx on the yy game to start off, then do a mix of 4-5 party games, tea, then a team photo and home. We use the photo as a thank you card.

I think the soft play ones are all much of a muchness, yes the kids enjoy them but I like a less corporate and more personal style and the kids all bonding playing games together. I DO like organising them though - soft play parties are good if you want to put in zero effort.

We're just sorting out ds's 6th at the mo and the hall is costing £25 - v cheap.

Our hall costs £12!

DS is 4 this year & I was hoping for a party at our house which involved kids occupied with vast bowls of crisps & selection of choc cakes/ biscuits etc while adults lounged around quaffing huge glasses of wine. Maybe pass the parcel with mini Mars in every layer if feeling energetic.

This might also cost £175 but most would be spent on booze ....

Northerner it sounds great. The majority of parties that ds1 has been to have been traditional ones at peoples houses - he is 4. That is what he thinks a party is - party food and a couple of games and then a bag to take home.
Have to admit that we haven't had any parties yet, like madness I'm waiting for the 5th one before I start, but with 3 kids they'll probably all be at home.

for my dd (6) i have never spent more than £100 on a party last year we took her to alton towers for the day and then had a birthday tea at home with a couple of her friends and our family.
the year before we hired a social club hall (free ON A SUNDAY AFTERNOON) oops sry about caps.
and had a disco (which my dad did) and we did our own food we bought the kids a bottle of panda pop each and played games they loved it apart from one woman who stormed off with her son after about 5 mins after coming up to me to say - we're leaving because you havent invited any boys! (i had but how many boys really want to come to a 5yr old girls party)

mine are also the only ones who still have parties at home it seems. they are 5 and 4. we already have a big messy house and garden and can easily fit 20 children in so it makes sense but i do worry that it's just not the done thing these days.

the children do seem to enjoy it. we also have friends who are very good at doing childrens games who come and help.

it would be cheap except i tend to be lazy and hire a cleaner before and after which ups the cost a bit.

We have this problem in this area too. All the kids parties are at soft play with rooms attached and they also hire entertainers. We have been to one at a posh hotel in london for a 3 year old, etc etc. My ds1's 4th birthday party was at the local playground. We took over the wooden gazebo thing and set up food etc in there and just let the kids play on the equipment. Cost - nothing! (well, food etc).

This next year I have decided to have it at my flat with just 6 or 7 kids. And I may well hire an entertainer if it doesn't cost too much, but that will be it. There is no way I would spend the money that people around here do.

I do my dd's birthdays at home (but its August which helps as we've been lucky with the weather and played outside). She's 4 this year and I thik this is the last year I can feasibly get away with a home party. It seems that once they get to reception class the whole 30 strong class get invited (going to have her party on August bank holiday sop hopefully lots of people will be on holiday!). I certainly wouldn't want her to feel that she wasn't the same as other children which is why I will have to invite the whole class next year, but fortunately I get our church hall free so its no more expensive than home.

I personally wouldn't worry what other mums are doing for a 4th birthday party. As long as his friends are invited and he feels its his special day then he will love it.

I hope never to have to do a soft play centre party for my dd. I find them so rushed and impersonal I can never remember which party is which after she has been, plus when they are at other peoples houses you get to have a good nose around - love it!

I had these kind of parties until dd1 was 6 this year

now its pantomime and a meal for a few best friends

much easier but prob more expensive

dd2 (3) gets a village hall and a bouncy castle for the next 2 years : village hall hire = £10(!), bouncy castle (£50) food made by me, craft stuff (nicked from work ), pass the parcel with £3 prize in the middle, dh on the Ipod.

I had these kind of parties until dd1 was 6 this year

now its pantomime and a meal for a few best friends

much easier but prob more expensive

dd2 (3) gets a village hall and a bouncy castle for the next 2 years : village hall hire = £10(!), bouncy castle (£50) food made by me, craft stuff (nicked from work ), pass the parcel with £3 prize in the middle, dh on the Ipod.

Northener, your Party definately sounds good enough.
What i'm doing this year (at the weekend actually) is, we are8 having dd1's party in Waxky type place but she is sharing it with another boy in her class who was 5 a week ago. The only difference is they'll both get a cake and we get half the bill each. Have to be honest it was the other Mum's suggestion but dd was well up for it (was proud of her for not being precious about HER Party actually as that was my* initial reaction ).

I would be delighted if we ever managed to keep the cost of a kids party below £100. Actually last summer we had a really cheap party in the local park - water pistols and a picnic. This year it will be a wobstacle course in a local swimming pool for both DD (8) and DS (12).

What I really object to is the mandatory party bag with sweets, toys, a balloon etc.

My twin DDs aren't having a party this year - they will be 5 next week. Couldn't invite the whole class for both of them (60+) kids and they couldn't narrow it down to 10-15 each, it kept changing daily and stressed me out. So we're taking them to Butlins for the weekend. Which will probably stress DH out as he hates that sort of thing . Cheaper than a party though!