Equal distribution of Christmas preparations?

[marthamoo]

Was going to entitle this thread "Why are men such lazy b*ggers when it comes to Christmas?" but knew I'd get shot down in flames

Just want to know if anyone has a dh who does pull his weight at Christmas.

I do all the present choosing and buying (his family and workmates too), I post anything that needs to be posted, I choose, write and post the cards, I decorate the house, I do all the food shopping, preparation and cooking, I decide what we're doing on the day.

Dh's contribution is to pour scorn on any present suggestions I make ie., "I thought of X for your Mum and Dad" "What do they want one of those for?" "Well, what do you think they would like..." "Erm...dunno."

He writes one card - to his parents - but I buy it, put it in front of him and place the pen in his hand, then stick a stamp on and post it.

The only bits he tackles with much enthusiasm are helping the kids play with their toys on Christmas morning, eating and drinking, then zonking out on the sofa Christmas afternoon!

Though I suppose he'd argue that he does earn the money that pays for all the festivities, and that's his major contribution.

This isn't a serious moan - I love Christmas, thankfully, so don't really begrudge doing the lion's share...but what do other people do?

I could write your post too Marthamoo. LOL at the christmas card bit for dh's parents. My dh is exactly the same. Why do we allow this?

I definitely do all the cards, most of the gifts, all the wrapping and posting, most of the decoration. But then I love it and I work from home so its easier to pop to the P.O. etc. I don't do cards for dh's friends (close family only cos I like them too), so normally they just don't get any - that's up to him so often doesn't happen. He does do pretty equal share of the cooking, cleaning, entertaining any guests, etc. I draw the line at buying my own present so he normally takes ds into town one Saturday and gives me a mornng off (I tend to give a hints list though... but when i haven't , he has very pleasantly surprised me bless him).

I also have do everything - I love Xmas and DP hates it - although he does seem to be looking forward to it this year as dd is 18mths and he is excited for her. I don't do cards for DP if he doesn't send them - his friends and family don't get one. He always asks what I want for Xmas and nothing is ever a suprise, I aksed for a nice pull along suitcase last year for when I am away with work - I got a vanity box!!!!

I do more, but DH does write a lot of the Christmas cards (he has to - I just don't 'do' Christmas cards) and orders and collects the turkey from M&S. Plus he cooks the Christmas lunch (I would be willing to do this, and would prefer to do it myself as kitchen would be less bombstruck afterwards, but I indulge his whim!)

However this still leaves me with Christmas present buying and wrapping and doing the decorations.

I do everything too except cook the dinner my DH does that while I supervise the children and faff about decorating the table. We always have dinner at our house so then we can do it our way but it means that I have to do the mountain of washing up while everybody else gets to snooze on the sofa. He usually manages to get to the shops about 4.30 on christmas eve in a panic which means that I usually get something quite nice and expensive!

ha ha ha ha ha haahahahahahhahaah
sorry,just read the thread title and felt I didn't need to read any more before posting my7 reaction!

Thank god it's not just me. Dh loves christmas - thats because he doesnt have to do bloody anything. He was having a go at me on Saturday for not ordering the christmas meat yet - I said get off your arse and do it yourself! Needless to say he didn't..

Mine does nothing. If I'm lucky he drives to my mums, but after I've been frantically washing clothes all week & running round like an idiot packing for 5 people (DD now thankfully does her own).

WHO is asleep on the settee Xmas Day afternoon? Hm, not the person who has done all the work.

WEll, I do nearly on the Christmas shopping (except for myself - DH does that last week before Christmas), I write ALL the cards (and help DD make some too), I cook, DH puts the tree up but I decorate it, I make all the arrangements for where we go and who we visit each day over the week too. DG does come to the supermarket with me though to do the shopping on Christmas Eve - refuse to allow him to get out it (send DD to nursery for a couple of hours). And he loves Christmas Day and will spend hours playing with DD!

I do everything except go into the loft and get the decs down and put the outdoor lights up.
Xmas should be banned

message withdrawn

I do it all apart from cooking Christmas Dinner - only allowed to do the minion jobs there so DH can take all the glory.

Feeling v. cross just now. DS's play tonight - I saw it yesterday aft. - DH was meant to baby sit for me to go but didn't get home in time so I had to dig up a last minute babysitter. Then he was going to the evening performance. Had to get DS up to the school half hour beforehand. DH late again so I had to do it with baby and toddler in tow then wait for him to hand over his ticket. Turned up at the very last minute. My comment was " well you can make up for it tomorrow by doing all the running around" - "sorry he said. It s my work dinner tomorrow night!". Sometimes I could strangle him.

Dh is actually quite good at helping out. We don't entertain ourselves, but usually end up at his parents. He is responsible for buying his family's presents. I have 5 brothers and sisters and 13 (coming on for 14) nieces and nephews. He has 6 brothers and sisters and 9 nieces and nephews, so I couldn't possibly take on all those!

When I first met him he bought all his nieces and nephews a lollypop each for Christmas! Since then I've made it clear to his family that any present they get is of his choosing and nothing to do with me!

I buy for my family and he buys for his and we sort of split the kids between us. I do all the cards though as the one year I left him his side of the family to do they didn't get done, and I do all the wrapping cos he's crap at it.

However, I have never cooked a christmas dinner - but then neither has he! We go to my mum on christmas day and his mum on boxing day ( they insist honestly!)

DH is pretty good overall, just needs prodding occasionally.

Dh has just made such a fuss about going into town this afternoon Christmas shopping.."oh, it'll be heaving, I hate Christmas shopping, everyone is so bad tempered, it's the worst thing about Christmas, don't know why we bother" etc. etc. etc.

He is..

(a) going on his own. I always have at least one child in tow - usually a recaltricant toddler who likes to try and grab things off shelves and kick grannies in the shins as I push his buggy around (and speaking of buggies, some of those shops are so un-buggy friendly. Woolworths springs to mind with barely space to swing a cat between the displays).

(b) going to buy...wait for it...ONE present. Mine. It's the only one he chooses, buys and wraps all by himself. And if he gets me a slow cooker he's dead.

When he gets back he's going up in the loft to get the decorations down - thanks, doormat, for reminding me of the one other thing he does at Christmas.

I do everything too.
I've decided to send no cards this year though, except to my work colleagues.
I think it's fantastically stupid that we women even choose the presents for Dh's side of the family. I don't know what the solution is though, apart from turning up empty handed (tempting, hehehe..)

I do everything apart from dh chipping in with the tree and the dinner. But that's how I want it, I'm happy to do it all myself, I love doing the whole kit-and-kaboodle, it's my piece de resistance for the year.