Similar to Pie - what about 3 under 4 yrs old? (sorry bit long and boring)

[handlemecarefully]

A similar but slightly different question to Pie...

I've got a 16 month old dd. When her baby bro is born in April she will be 21 months.

Originally thought about 'scheduling' (don't laugh) my 3rd and last baby for circa 4 years time when dd will be about 5 ish, ds will be about 3.5 / 4ish...and I will be 39 whereas dh will be 45.

Now I am thinking bring it all forward (part of motivation is I want to make a career change which is likely to involve a period of retraining - thus childcare costs during retraining (when no salary coming in to cover them) will be easier when all 3 start school, as I will only need childcare costs for part of the day (couple of hours post school). However if I stick to original plan my 3rd born would not be in school until I am 43 (8 years away) and I don't want to defer retraining and new career that long.

In my new plan I would aim to get pregnant with 3rd child around October 2004...which would mean that by the time he/ she is born:

dd = 36 months
ds = 15 months
newborn= 0 months

With 3 of this age I would give up my current job as childcare costs would be prohibitive. Money would be tight but we could 'manage'. I would then start retraining for new career in 2007/8 (when 2 already in school and 3rd about to start)...I would be 39/40

Is this barmy? - we could cope financially and stuff with 3, but is it simply too much work with 3 little un's with these sort of tight age gaps. Will it drive me to an early grave? Anybody done this?

(P.S. anybody who remembers the thread from last week - I have seen the light and I'm not now getting a dog!!!!!)

Jimjams,

You are right - and I am not underestimating the complications, particularly the safety aspect of properly supervising three. If I have 3 and go out on my own with them, it will have to be to 'safe' locations (like toddler groups) where you don't need to keep a beady eye on all of them constantly, and they can't really come to serious harm. I would have to put off more ambitious outings for the weekend when dh is around to help.

Am also hoping that mum might move down (she is talking about it...)

Beetroot,

That's reassuring!

Nah- you have normal kids who can have road safety explained to them beety- I have a 4 and half year old with the language level of a 12-18 month old so absolutely no understanding about waiting at the pavement edge or anything. I could go out with 3 but only when ds2 has reached an age that he understands road safety so that I can still grab ds1.

You are all scaring me now - not go out at all!!! I'd go mad. I have to spend most of my time out of the house as it is with 2......they hate being in the house for more than about 2 hours. I was just planning on lugging the little one around as well.

I think the older 2 will still go to nursery for a very limited time as we won't be able to afford much ....maybe 1 day a week each....

I take the point about similar interests etc. My eldest is already really bored of playgroups - he is 3. Youngest absolutely loves them. We try to compromise and just go for an hour........

Jimjams,

Autism changes everything doesn't it....I also take on board your previous point about seeing whether or not number 2 has any problems, before deciding to go full steam ahead with number 3. If I have a 2nd child with additional needs this would definitely put the brakes on number 3

hmc- I know my experience is different but I have very similar problems to a friend with 4 NT kids- the youngest are twins, and she has the same sort of problems going to uncontained places. The ease depends very much on age gaps and the personalities of the children, but safety can be an issue- just thoguht zebra made a good point.