Adoption, what would you do?

[jofeb04]

Hiya,
Ive known i am adopted since for-ever!! But since having my two children, i have had an urge to find my biological mother. I love my parents dearly, and they are my parents, but i feel that i need to know where i come from, brothers, sisters etc.
Ive had meetings with the social services (they're the ones who look into it for me), and have found out my birth name. I want to know of any medical problems that could be passed on to my children.
Ive got another meeting on the 1st March, where they will let me see my file.
But im still really confused. Anyone else gone through this, or any mothers who have found the biological parents?

My mother's biological son from ages ago got in touch with us a few years back. We all get on fine, although it was a bit of a shock (we only sorta knew he existed, before he appeared).

I do have another friend who found his biological mom and didn't get on with her. Another friend has a surprise adopted out half-sister, via her dad.

If you want to do it, you should, I think.

If you really want to do it then you should. You don't need to involve others at this stage but you may later on and so i would advise that you are fully aware of how others may react IYKWIM.

Thanks NQc,
My main concern is that she was only 19 when she had me with a married man etc, im 24 so it wasnt the done thing that time. I dont blame her, and im really concerned that she may not have told her new family about what happened. But i feel like i need to know where i get my red hair from!!!

Well, it was very brave of her to have you, under the circumstances, and give you up.

You can establish contact and see how it goes, surely? You do want your family to know you're doing it, though, obviously.

I'm adopted and I traced my biological parents. I'm glad you are going through social services. Take it very slowly and don't feel under any pressure, if you want to back out. It is quite a big thing to do emotionally, so be prepared for all sorts of strong feelings you may have.
If I was doing it again, I would sit down and work through all the possible outcomes to try and prepare myself a bit better.
Take care and feel free to ask if you want any more info.