entertaining the boss

[jinna]

we will soon be moving house so that we will be near DH work - we will then be entertaining alot of his work mates and his boss. This may sound silly but i have no idea how to entertain or do a dinner party - i am a shy person and am already getting nervous - so please an idiots guide to entertaining would be great!!!!

Jinna - I too would be nervous and am not shy at all!! I think the best advice I could give would be to keep it simple initially - don't try anything too complicated as you will only end up getting more stressed out. Meanwhile get your DH to talk to you about the people you will be entertaining, so that you may ask questions relevant to them to get the conversation flowing.

Good Luck with it all - let us know how the first dinner party goes - we can always give you ideas for a menu.

Hi Jinna, as dsw says keep it simple. Try and do things that you can prepare in advance or take minimal cooking time at first, you don't want to spend the whole time in the kitchen and then be all steamy and hot when you sit down for the meal!

Suggestions for an easy menu

Starter

• Parma Ham and Melon (arrange nicely on a big plate and let everyone help themselves)
• Charcuterie and onion marmalade (buy in a jar)
• Pate and toast
• Mozzarella and Tomato salad with basil torn over it served with french bread and dressed with olive oil and balsamic vinegar

Main

• A casserole
• Pan fried fish (eg salmon/trout fillets, dipped in flour mixed with lemon zest and salt & pepper) served with baby new potatoes and a couple of salads eg greek and green.
• Chicken breasts stuffed with mozzarella and basil wrapped in prosciutto all held together with a cocktail stick, can do in advance and pan fry or roast, if pan fry take them out and add a bit of cream and white wine to the juice to make a sauce.

There are millions of recipes like this that are really simple, ask for a nice cookery book for xmas.

I often buy a pud or just do a fruit salad or something easy.

Make sure dh helps you with laying table, serving wine etc.

Good luck!

Entertaining is really fun, but you need to plan ahead, so it is not a huge rush to buy the ingredients, cook, and get the house ready. It is better to cook something that you already know how to make, and feel confident will turn out well. Do you want to do a drinks party with snacks, or a party where people eat a full meal? Do you want to do a sitdown meal for a few people, or a buffet for more people? Are you going to invite some of your own friends too? There are actually some cookery books with advice and sample menus which are really useful, eg they list what can be made in advance, what can be frozen, etc.

thanks for the advise so far - any more tips on the entertainment side - e.g how should the evening go - as i don't know them well - how can i organise it so that the conversation doesn't dry up - which usually happens when i am nervous. - when i said an idiots guide i truly meant it!!!!!

Countess Drac has said it for me!

Normally some people are late, so you should plan to serve the food about an hour after you told people to come. You can give them drinks and snacks like peanuts until you sit down for dinner. If you serve alcohol, then have a range of some spirits with mixers, beer, wine and soft drinks. I am not very good at drinks so just buy what a book says! People will probably bring you flowers, wine, chocolates etc, so try and have some flower vases handy and people generally like it if you ask them whether they would like to share their wine this evening (sometimes they bring an expensive bottle and want to taste it rather than leave it for you later). If the guests don't all know each other, then introducing everyone takes a while, and you should try to say something about them apart from their name, eg, "John, I would like you to meet Hema, who runs her own business and is married to Dilip over there. Hema, John works with my husband, but I don't know him very well because he does so much travelling and this is the first time he is visiting us at home." This gives them a clue about what to start talking about when you move on. It is your responsibility as hostess to keep the conversation flowing, but try not to worry too much. Reading the newspapers will give you lots of topical things to discuss (although obviously try to avoid politics/ religion / sensitive subject etc!). If you are new to the area, you could also take the opportunity to find out about local things. If it is a crowd of your dh's work mates, it might get really boring if they all talk shop. Can you invite a couple of your own friends too?

jinna would it be poss for you to go out to the pub with them after work one night first so that they aren't total strangers to you? Or as someone said invite some people that you know too, pref that have something in common with the worky types.

Just try and be natural and for god's sake don't drink too much due to nerves and find yourself slurring your words

And of course you have the cook's refuge, if things are going slowly or you can't think of anything to say, look at your watch and say oh I must go and check on the chicken or something.

it may be difficult to invite others as most of are friends live in the area we used to live - we have got family nearby but I don't think that will be such a good match. Should i have anythibg as a back up if things go really bad?

My big tip: always cook something you have cooked before, preferably something you have cooked several times before. That way, you have less to stress about on the day (and you are less likely to get any nasty surprises).

Also is your dh particularly friendly with any 1 colleague? If so perhaps it would be a good idea to go out with just that colleague (or invite him/her and partner over) so you won't be so overwhelmed by people you don't know when you hold the dinner party.

Jinna,

Chill! other than the food and drink you don't have to organise a great deal. There is no reason why the conversation should dry up - if you have several people coming there are bound to be one or two talkative ones amongst them who will keep the chat going....

Also as many of them are dh workmates, they share that in common so dull as it is for you, they will probably be talking shop for some of the time. Long silences are not likely to happen.

Your dh is lucky to have you...if mine asked me to arrange dinner etc for some of his workmates and boss I'd tell him to book a restaurant!

I know i am being over anxious but i feel that i have lost the art of conversation - i have been a SAHM for 6 years and i have lost a lot of my confidence along the way - i wish i could explain this to my husband and maybe take a gradual approach. Thanks for the ideas - they have helped ease my worries

Jinna, is there anything Indian you eat at home/are used to cooking that you can roll out for them? I find it works a treat.

Jinna,

Poor you. You probably haven't lost the art of conversation at all! - but it must be dreadful to loose confidence in this way.

Some guaranteed conversation openers (although not particularly inspired or original) are:

*Choice of schools / families / kids
*Cost of living (home buying, mortgages etc)
*Christmas plans (given the season at the moment)
*Current affairs (perhaps look at the mumsnet 'In the News' section nearer the date for live topics?)
*what are you planning for the weekend?

etc

You don't need to be particularly knowledgeable about any of these subjects....

Also,just ask questions - most people are thoroughly self obsessed and will bang on about themselves for ages if you ask the right things!

Further to "handle's.." topics experience tells me that lots of people are dying to talk about trivia instead of "heavy topics"
However be careful what you say to people ... I remember slagging off somebody in the Big Brother House - to be told in clipped tones that is was my guest's DS's best mate ... oh well ... have not been invited back

I just had a high pressure dinner party with dh's sister and family. She is the type to complain to my mil about what people serve etc. Anyways I used this book that always works for me, here is the link on Amazon food for friends

There are veggie menus, asian menus, kids menus, cooking for a crowd, cooking in the summer et al. I really love it. This weekend I made roast chicken with terragon, mustard, shallots and white wine, stuffed peppers and pasta(papperlli?!) and then a simple green salad. I got everything ready earlier in the day and just poped it in the oven right before the guests came. I just love this book!

august24 - looks like a good book i'll give it a try

Issymum, just what I was about to say - the art of conversation is to ask!