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Original poster

Being spiteful

108 replies

Yorkiegirl · 09/02/2006 23:09

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
Greensleeves · 09/02/2006 23:57

It doesn't always show immaturity and lack of intelligence. It can also show colossal unhappiness/various types of illness/a genuinely nasty nature/lack of self-worth... no human characteristic is so simple that you can dismiss it with one universal explanation, surely? It would be nice if things were that simple.

Original poster
Yorkiegirl · 09/02/2006 23:57

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
nightowl · 10/02/2006 00:02

ive often wondered that yorkiegirl. i wonder why my so called best friend (many years ago) tried to destroy me when i had only ever been there for her. she very nearly did, she put me on anti-d's. im sorry, but if she ever came to me for help now i would laugh in her face, im just not as forgiving as some of you.

and i am childish at times yes

Greensleeves · 10/02/2006 00:04

If it helps, one theory is that people who suffer with very low self-worth - even self-loathing - harbour a sub-conscious belief that they are incapable of hurting others, because nothing they say could possible be of enough importance to cause pain to another person. So it's safe for them to lash out. As their self-image improves, they discover a sense of responsibility towards other people's feelings, and realise that what they say does count, and can really have an impact.

SleepyJess · 10/02/2006 00:07

.. well a bit Nightowl.. it has to be said.. one other site anyway.. why... [worries SJ].. do you know me??

nightowl · 10/02/2006 00:14

i do sj....i think you're awful. i cant believe the things you come out with there...no, im joking. i only come here

expatinscotland · 10/02/2006 00:15

No, I'm too damn tired for it.

SleepyJess · 10/02/2006 00:17

LOL Nightowl.. I believed you then.. when I first read that sentence.. you could INDEED be talking about my alter ego!! I am not a troll.. I just say what comes into my head.. it's a lovely release of tension!

wabbitintheheadlamps · 10/02/2006 00:19

Greensleeves - it's very generous of you to look on the forgiving side of spite - perhaps you've not had a recent experience of someone being spiteful to you to remember just how hurtful and unforgivabel and well bloody spiteful it is... it's not low self image and a lack of self worth that's driven the horrid horrid woman having an affair with my partner to ring me and make me feel just great about myself... wasn't it enough for her to 'introduce' herself, without having to tell me that it was 'she' who chose the latest clothes he brought home for our 5 month old baby?

nightowl · 10/02/2006 00:19

i have to say, i dont post on any other sites but i do peek at them sometimes and they all attract different kinds of people. i often wonder if people can show different sides of their personalities on other sites? would you say thats accurate? sorry, off topic i know.

wabbitintheheadlamps · 10/02/2006 00:20

sorry hope my post's not all out of place - not read the thread, just saw the title and then Greensleeves post

nightowl · 10/02/2006 00:21

omg wth. thats awful.

wabbitintheheadlamps · 10/02/2006 00:22

Yup I thought so too

Greensleeves · 10/02/2006 00:23

I have plenty of recent experience of somebody actively trying to destroy me and damage my life in every way she can think of. Believe me, I know intimately how it feels to be treated with totally undeserved cruelty. It's not generosity that leads me to want to understand why people do this - why I can be nasty myself, when I am miserable, too. It's just an instinct, to try and use my intellect to make sense of life and try and improve it. It's better than just being bitter and generating more negativity.

SleepyJess · 10/02/2006 00:24

No wabbit you vent!! You sound like you need to love!!

Nightowl.. yes I would say that is accurate.. although those closest to me do know that I actually have that mean-mouthed streak in me which I generally control unless someone is REALLY deserving of it in RL (like say, in a situation like Wabbit's! !)... or.. just to vent on that forum!

wabbitintheheadlamps · 10/02/2006 00:28

I still think you're being generous! Sorry if I've opened a can of worms... I just don't get it at all - I haven't a clue why people resort to 'twisting the knife' once it's well and truely in.

nightowl · 10/02/2006 00:30

i dont think i agree with you totally greensleeves. i can see your point with the self worth issue...yes perhaps that somehow makes them feel the need to put others down..to make them feel better. but in my experience this girl knew exactly what she was doing to me. it wasnt a case of being snappy or insulting. no, it was much more than that. she was sly, manipulative and everything else that comes with it. the fact remains though, i still dont know why and i dont suppose i will ever find out.

Greensleeves · 10/02/2006 00:32

I'm sorry if I sounded sanctimonious, Wabbit. I'm going through a sore patch myself

It sounds terrible, what's happening to you. No wonder you are in no mood to be analysing that woman's behaviour - she sounds like a real cow. You should let it all out on MN, there are so many lovely supportive people who would love to listen.

wabbitintheheadlamps · 10/02/2006 00:35

I know I should start a 'so do you think this woman's a beeyatch' thread... it's all a bit raw and open as yet to let the whole story out

nightowl · 10/02/2006 00:35

some people just cant stop wabbit. maybe its some huge adrenaline rush. im dont understand it because im possibly the most soft hearted person you could come across. (does not work in my favour).

wabbitintheheadlamps · 10/02/2006 00:39

I know my sister's DH who's a Reikki Master would say it's all about taking energy from another person...

Greensleeves · 10/02/2006 00:41

That's interesting. That's certinly how it feels when somebody else's cruelty is draining all the joy out of your life.

wabbitintheheadlamps · 10/02/2006 00:45

He also says that knowing what someone's up to on the energy nicking front means you're not so vulnerable to their intentions.... Finding that one difficult to put into practice at the moment!

nightowl · 10/02/2006 00:48

mmm i would imagine so. i dont suppose its much help right now

Greensleeves · 10/02/2006 00:51

I'm not sure any clever theory would help you that much at the moment, Wabbit - what you're going through sounds so painful, and you have a young baby to look after as well. You just need support and friendship, I think. There's plenty of that here. I wouldn't have got through the last few weeks without it.