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Original poster

Other mums comment about ds... Rant

18 replies

unicorn · 09/02/2006 10:37

ds(4)can be quite dramatic when he falls and hurts himself etc.. anyway this morning this other mother (whose son usually pushes everyone over) says about ds

'he gets upset easily doesn't he?'

I just said yeah he is quite sensitive... now I'm getting really that I have thought about it.

Judgemental or what?

OP posts:
Kelly1978 · 09/02/2006 10:38

at the risk of getting my head bitten off, I think maybe she was jsut chatting. I don't think it sounds hugely judgemental.

colditz · 09/02/2006 10:39

Well....

You have just said he is quite dramatic when he falls over, so what she said was actually true, wasn't it? Doesn't excuse her saying it as it's none of her business, butit doesn't sound judgemental to me.

alexsmum · 09/02/2006 10:40

..sorry another vote for not judgemental

Original poster
unicorn · 09/02/2006 10:43

It was judgemental because her son usually pushes mine over (this time he hadn't) but she was basically using my ds's tears as some sort of excuse for her son...

IYSWIM!!!!!

It is in the delivery as well as the words ...

she was comparing him to her son - unfavourably.

OP posts:
cyan · 09/02/2006 10:43

have to agree with others, you said he's a bit dramatic. don't think she's being judgemental, try not and take it too personally

juliab · 09/02/2006 10:44

Think she's a bit challenged in the tact department to say the least. Bet she'd have been thrilled if you'd say, 'Yours get aggressive easily, doesn't he?'

Original poster
unicorn · 09/02/2006 10:44

quite!

OP posts:
FairyMum · 09/02/2006 10:45

I think she says it to make herself feel better as it's her son who pushes yours over.
I have a friend whose daughter is a good candidate for brat camp. She is always describing hers as feisty and strong-willed and thinks my children are too placid just because they don't push children smaller than themselves around in the playground.

Original poster
unicorn · 09/02/2006 10:46

also it's the 'boys shouldn't cry' attitude.

OP posts:
colditz · 09/02/2006 10:48

I do get from one friend "Oh, isn't he quiet!"

Well, actually, no, but your child appears to have no need for oxygen, as they haven't stopped yattering long enough to breathe, never mind to let my son get a word in edgeways....

Original poster
unicorn · 09/02/2006 10:52

wonder why we feel we make an character assumption on the basis of a snapshot of other peoples children?

Just because we have children doesn't mean we have understanding or knowledge about all children!

OP posts:
Pinotmum · 09/02/2006 10:53

My dd is chatty and friendly and is always in a good mood in the mornings in the playground. One mother whose dd isn't either of these says to me "you've got your hands full there". I actually don't as she's quite well behaved for a 5 yo most of the time. Her dd is a lovely girl btw and I just appreciate the differences in them rather than want to criticise to make myself feel better. Why is it a competition to have the most "perfect" child these days . I am sure if dd just hung onto my coat and said nothing this mum would still criticise ber for being a worry to me - grrr!!!

alexsmum · 09/02/2006 10:56

how was it an excuse for her son? he hadn't done anything!
she stated a fact. you said yourself he was dramatic,a nd she commented. maybe she shouldn't have commented but i don't think she was being judgemental.
this is such a small thing to be getting worked up about.if she had said' oh my god, what a wuss-he cries all the time' then fair enough get angry but i think you should put this one down and walk away from it.

Caligula · 09/02/2006 10:57

She doesn't sound judgemental, just self-justifying (or rather DS justifying).

Next time it happens just say "your DS is very boisterous, isn't he?" (Mind you, she might surprise you - someone once said something along those lines to a woman I knew years ago and she replied "yes, that's because his father's a psychopath and he takes after him".)

Takes all sorts...

scatterbrain · 09/02/2006 10:59

Ahhh - now I remember why I don't like doing school runs !!! Innocuous comments - ie. attempts to chat - taken wrong way and bitching ensues !!

I would say "observational" rather than "judgemental" myself - but clearly you are sensitive about it - so have a retort up your sleeve for next time !

I so hate the school gate !

Original poster
unicorn · 09/02/2006 11:00

like it Caligula

OP posts:
harpsichordcarrier · 09/02/2006 11:13

I agree with fairymum
tactless but it's her problem not yours
maybe he has a future on the stage
but yesI do hate this assumption that boys should be tough as nails

Bozza · 09/02/2006 11:32

It seems to me that you are being just as judgemental about her DS but haven't voiced it. So agree that you are just more tactful than she is.

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