Hi,
Not sure where to post this. I'm trying to make sense of things. I'm in my 30's but have low self esteem and don't know much. People often say "where have you been?" or "are you so thick?"
As a teenager I was very socially anxious and I was very slow in school. For some reason I'm okay now but I feel as if I'm someone who should be much younger as this is things younger people ask and feel.
I often feel as if I'm ugly and don't want people looking at me. I hate being photographed. I don't like being naked in front of my partner, and I've moved away from the relationship. I don't like society and want to reject it. Thing is that's supposed to be how a teenager feels isn't it?
I also can't multi task as women are supposed to do. I can only concentrate on one thing at a time because my brain shurts off or I withdraw. I'm fed up reading/listening to people say women are better at multi tasking when I can't do this. I tried searching online for women who can't multi task at all but nothing came up. I must be the only woman who can't do this. I also haven't got the urge to have sex or make friends. I feel lack of chemistry and haven't emotions, I don't like expressing them. When lost of women say they "cried" over something I didn't. Women say they start crying when another woman cries but I don't and feel absolutely nothing at all.
Women say they "forget" how awful childbirth was and have more kids. The birth of my first child put me off wanting anymore kids ever again and it put me off sex too. Since having my daughter, I've started disliking people and don't want to be close to anyone and prefer to be left alone.
Is there something wrong with me? Am I subhuman? My partner thinks I shouldn't have had kids.