large familys,is it madness!!!!

[Ariel]

Did anyone see that programme last night on BBC1 about large familys,i have 2 kids and one on the way, and boy im i worried about how i will cope,how on earth do people manage with 10+ kids.Dont get me wrong i have nothing but admiration for people who choose to have large familys and support them financially themselves, which all of the familys in this programme did,. What do other mumsnet members think, do you think its ok to have large familys if your on benefits?

I couldn't bear to watch it as I am one of 11 children myself. I have very mixed feelings about large families, on one hand I learnt to do without things, material posessions are not that imortant to me and I've never felt the need to keep up with the Jones or spend money on myself. On the other hand I can remember what it was like to go to school in handed down shoes with large holes in them in the middle of the winter, to not be able to do the things other kids did due to lack of money, and the vague sense of shame that I felt every time the size of my family was revealed. Mind you, we grew up on a quarter acre section, much of which was given over to vegetable gardens. My dad grew the bigggest cabbages you have ever seen.

I found those families amazing.
I was amazed at the mothers (the one with the Volvo could not stop smiling!) I actually wondered what that family did for money as it seemed better off than the other 2 families.
But in all 3 cases the eldest child had a big job on his/her hands (which seemed unfair - to me at least) and the kids were "arguing/fighting" (maybe for the camera?) a lot and that would drive me off the wall.
Having said that I might have gone down that route if I didn't have that many problems being pregnant and seriously disliking labour ! But clearly those 3 mothers were passionate about it enough to want the pregnancies (however high risk).

I have lived in Quebec a few years ago and all of my friends parents were one of (usually last) 13/14 kids families... It was only in the sixties that families became much smaller... now all my friends over there have only 1 child !

My Granny was one of 13 children, not an uncommon sized family in Ireland at the turn of the last century. Her father was the town policeman, so although better off than agricultural workers, they were hardly rolling in it. There were no benefits in those days for anyone. If you were really poor, you relied on your neighbours and charities. All the children survived to adulthood & indeed many lived well into their 80s & 90s.
My Granny, who is sadly no longer alive, always used to say that our expectations are so much higher these days. For example, they had no car, no electricity until the 1930s, no domestic appliances, no summer holidays etc. etc. They didn't feel hard done by, that was just how life was. So, other than clothes & food household bills were very small.
The lifestyle that she lived as a child would be considered abject poverty today and yet they weren't a poor family at the time.
What I'm trying to say is that possibly it is harder for large families today, as unless they are very rich, they are going to have to turn their back on some of the more materialistic elements of society today.

I just felt so sorry for little Hugo, the eight-year-old son of Mr and Mrs Volvo. Ok, it might have been the result of clever editing by the programme makers, but he seemed so lost and lonely amongst the chickens. It struck me that all the mothers were portrayed as loving babies and giving birth, but they lost interest as their babies grew up and got more difficult, and then relied on the oldest ones for help. The apparent similarity of attitudes held by the three mothers was staggering.

I too, feel sorry for the older children in large families, as they seem to be expected to 'help out' with the younger childrens' care, which we all know is hard work. I wonder if they feel that they have missed out on their childhood?

Hey, look on the bright side. I was constantly asked while the sluglet was in hospital if she was my 2nd or 3rd child because I was so confident in handling her. From the age of 7 I could change a nappy (cloth ones too) make up formula and bath the baby on my own. Things which throw my first time mother friends don't particularly bother me. I've seen it all before.

It was staggering wasn't it? Mr&Mrs Volvo really got up my nose though! Why on earth have 11 children, just to cart them off to boarding school when the going got a bit tough, because she couldn't be bothered to have any routine at all and her children seemed the most miserable of the lot! Did anyone clock the appalled faces of the other campers as they all arrived? What a hoot! I think I would have upped stakes and fled rapidly!!! I too felt sorry for Hugo - but their mother only seemed determined to do what made HER happy - because the children obviuosly weren't!