Argh - how do you deal with your child's picky-eater friends on a sleepover?

[Miaou]

Dd1 has three or four good friends, two who have been on sleepovers and one who has been to tea. They are all really picky eaters (well to my mind anyway) - eg they only eat white bread, yoghurts if they are a particular make/no bits, pizza if it is bought, cheese if it is orange (huh?), etc etc ... Now I'm all for accommodating different tastes and would like to serve up something they will eat - but sometimes that just proves impossible! And I don't think it is unreasonable of me to not buy in special bread/yoghurts etc, particularly as we are on a very tight budget.

Yesterday dd1's sleepover guest went home having eaten one slice of pizza, a few Pringles, a slice of toast and a small bowl of soup with a slice of bread, in 24 hours!!! (She kept asking for something else to eat but all I had to offer her was fruit, which she declined!!)

Argh - baby crying - and I had so much to say on this subject - please add your thoughts/ways of dealing with this!

if they dont eat it tough, the only alternative i give is bread and butter

ditto

My DS is one of those picky eaters and he knows if he goes to someones house for tea you get what you are given and if you don't eat it "hard cheese".

My kids are averagely fussy I suppose Enough so that when I invite people over I always double check they like XYZ or whatever I was planning.

Looking at some of the things people suggest here, I relaise how fussy DD2 is, she doesn't like pizza, unless there is no tomato sauce on it!! Ditto spag bol, etc. But it is made more tricky as I am veggie, so she sees me have something different. However she will always eat plain pasta with butter and cheese, so this is usually what she gets

However I am sure I have caught her eating these in other peoples homes Perhaps I need to be more strict.

Just skimmed this and lol at custardo's 'i hate kids' and, later 'but don't want to kill one'

I can't bear fussy eaters. I always try to make the food as uncontroversial as possible when kids come round (macaroni cheese, cottage pie, spag bol etc) but nine times out of ten when I put the plate on the table the guest child says, 'I don't like that' or worse, 'I hate that'. It's at this point I want them to eff off home, but I just say, 'I don't want to know what you don't like. Eat what you do like, leave the rest'. I ingore them.
The funny thing is they tend to eat stuff if you ignore their so-called likes and dislikes. I offer no alternatives, but it's clear to me that the guests expect me to or are trying it on to see what else I'll come up with.

I can't imagine my kids doing this at other peoples' houses. I'd be mortified. It's so rude.

A colleague told me of a pal of her son's (who is 8) who only eats one particular variety (my italics) of fish fingers in batter plus a particular variety of crinkle cut oven chips etc. She served him this and he was so delighted. I was a bit horrified (and also wondered, as I always do, how did the parents find out this was the only acceptable variety? And how does the child know which he's being served??
DS1 has a very picky friend. He comes to tea, I serve a picnic type meal as advised by his mum. He tries to scrounge sweets beforehand (like Miaou, we don't have them in as a rule and I refuse to buy them specially; friend spotted the Quality Street tins that are recycled and full of felt tips or glitter glue lol).
Then he doesn't eat very much of his tea. I produced chocolate croissants as a treat pudding last time. "I don't like that" he said as soon as he saw it. Fine, I said, I'll have yours then! I'm not going to worry, it's his parents' problem, not mine thank goodness.

I can understand your point of view - Feeding other kids can be a bit of nightmare but I would hate to think that my DD wasn't going to be able to eat anything over at a friends house. Yes she is fussy, (although not as bad as only one type of bread e.t.c) No it is not my fault and I am really trying to do something positive about it. Maybe it's because my DD is only 3 and you expect older children to be less fussy?
I always make an effort when I have DD's friends over to cook something that I think they will enjoy (I am on a budget too)

i remember going for tea when i was about 8 with a boy in my class whose quite hippy parents were both students at the college of HE and in (family) student accommodation. they served up some soup which they described as 'like chicken but without the chicken' (obviously veggies!) which i tried, didn't like AT ALL but persevered with until i'd eaten half then said 'i don't want any more thank you'.

1. i didn't want to appear rude
2. my mum would have been mortified if i'd refused their food. it didn't kill me - and yes i know this is 30 years ago! but why can't more kids just TRY to be a bit more polite when they're guests at other people's houses? I think it's one of my duties as a parent to instil good manners and the ability to cope with eating in environments other than home for my dds.

[aware that i sound like an old bag]

When any child comes round here for the first time I'd always ask their parents what they like to eat, then suggest a meal I'll serve to check that this is ok. It's part of the whole playdate thing, as far as I am concerned. It's just making sure a child feels at ease in your home. I'd always offer a simple alternative as well - pasta, sandwich, etc.

Once I know the child more, I stop getting prior approval for a meal choice, though - enough is enough!

My oldest son has several friends who are picky eaters, yet seem to have no problem with sweets and crisps. They are 11 or 12 years old. I really can't say what made them so fussy. It can (sorry) mildly annoy me as it comes across as attention seeking. One of the boys is polite and will say thank you - and he has good eating habits on the whole. The other boy is really ungrateful, will refuse a meal cooked specially for him and 10 minutes later will ask outright for crisps of sweets. And despite his bad eating habits and high sugar intake, he is slim and very well behaved. And my son, despite much better eating habits and sporty pastimes is overweight for his height.

Last weekend, I could have cried. My son had a few friends round, including this ungrateful, fussy eater. His mother gave me some donuts for everyone. My son and the other boys were fine about the donuts being a treat for dessert - ie after eating the home made pizza, salad and grilled chicken and tortilla wraps my son had prepared for everyone. Not so this boy who kept whining for the donuts. I said 'no' but he hardly ate any of the proper food (despite liking chicken) and then had large quantities of donuts. As I said, he is stick thin and doesn't play any sport. Another boy there (used to be very overweight) refused all pizza and donuts because he is on a diet. Life is just not fair!