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Original poster

undervalued and fed up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

22 replies

Nemo1977 · 03/02/2006 20:53

please tell me I am not alone in this. Since I became a sahm DH treats me like I am completely thick and doesnt listen to anything I say. Am sitting here fuming as yet again we have argued over something due to him not listening to me and then when he realised I was right he just completely brushed over it. I have just lost it with him as I am fed up of it. I have a msc FGS but since I have been at home he treats me like I have no brain cells and am cable of nothing more than cleaning, cooking and childcare

OP posts:
cyan · 03/02/2006 21:03

know the feeling nemo, my dp gets on my bloody nerves. Since ive had my ds my memory is like a sieve and he plays on it dp that is!, making up things to make me look stupid. also everytime that he come to mine, he dumps all of his work clothes on the floor, asks me why i havent done the washing up and why havent i prepared anything for dinner. grrrrr when i tell him to stay at home and look after ds he just dismisses it.

Yorkiegirl · 03/02/2006 21:24

Message withdrawn

cyan · 03/02/2006 21:30

yorkie im exactly the same worked my ase off and passed degree with a 3mth old baby doing a postgraduate course in sept and he still manages to put me down and thinks his superior twt.

Original poster
Nemo1977 · 03/02/2006 21:34

unfortunately my dh is more intelligent than me as he has a phd in molecular biology and genetics..however he is still 'only' a sales manager in comet..lol IT is just the attitude of me being thick that really gets to me.

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alliep30 · 03/02/2006 21:37

Men can be pigs...and half the time not realise it...that's why we're so much cleverer because we know it!!! I sympathise...can't remember the last time i had a job that involved using my brain...

swedishmum · 03/02/2006 21:37

Me too. Dh comes from a very traditional background and I think bits of it come out subconsciously from time to time. I'm more educated but he earns loads of money - breadwinner syndrome. Sometimes tells me I'm the "Wind beneath his wings" just to wind me up. I'll whack him hard one day.

pebblemum · 03/02/2006 21:39

My DH is exactly the same. He always makes out im stupid, cant cook etc especially when we are with friends/family. It really bugs me but i think i have it sussed as to why they do it.

They are threatened by us because they know that if it was left to them to cook, clean, look after the kids etc all at the same time they wouldnt be able to cope. Men cannot handle doing more than one thing at a time unless it involves moaning or drinking. The only way they can feel better is by putting us down all the time.

Also my DH knows that i am brighter than him when it comes to academic things but couldnt tell you one end of a car engine from another so he picks out my weaknesses and deliberatley shows me up by asking me things he knows i havent got a clue about. It makes him feel superior, bless him. Little does he know i stopped paying attention to him ages ago

All we have to do is remember that we are the ultimate sex and these men who feel the need to belittle us all the time are only doing so because they know they would not cope without us and they hate feeling inadequate.

LadySherlockofLGJ · 03/02/2006 21:40

Ah yes when this happens I call DH ,Henry

madmarchhare · 03/02/2006 21:42

I just call mine a twat.

LadySherlockofLGJ · 03/02/2006 21:42

As in My Fair Lady......where Professor Henry Higgins is a mysoginistic pig......

mummygow · 03/02/2006 21:42

I think all men must be the same - I tell my dh on many occassions that I am a sahm not a housewife - WE chose for me to look after our children full time not for me to become a cook and cleaner and as for the listening to me - its called selective hearing!!

swedishmum · 03/02/2006 21:42

My dog's called Henry

alliep30 · 03/02/2006 21:44

i like the way when they do get off their boney butts they say "i've washed up FOR YOU" who me? why i am honoured.. bllcks

Original poster
Nemo1977 · 03/02/2006 21:47

see i think thats another part of the problem I never actually chose to be a sahm. DH was finishing his phd and wanted to stay home, I went back to work but had very severe depression [still do so not helping self esteem] so had to give up then was medically retired so DH had to get a job. I was earning more than he does now and had built up quite a good career for myself and now it seems like it all disappeared along with the person I was. Now I am starting to scrape back some sembelance of who I was and he treats me like I am thick...sigh

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alliep30 · 03/02/2006 21:49

boo hiss...bad DH. I know how u feel.. I keep telling myself that when they're at school fulltime i'll chose a completely new career... i think its ds's little grin when he sees me at the school gate every day that keeps me going (sorry if that's barf inducing)

Dior · 03/02/2006 21:52

Message withdrawn

Original poster
Nemo1977 · 03/02/2006 21:53

alliep not barf inducing I agree. My kids are 2.3yrs DS and DD 7wks and it is them who keep me going through it..when I argued with dh before poor DS was telling DH to shush daddy..pmsl even he knew his dear dad was digging a deep hole..

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FrayedKnot · 03/02/2006 22:06

I coined the phrase

"I signed up to be a parent, not a drudge" during a heated conversation with DH recently.

FrayedKnot · 03/02/2006 22:06

That was on one of the rare occasions when he was actually listening to me. Possibly.

festiveface · 03/02/2006 22:23

once while i was ironing upstairs, dh was dealing with the kids downstairs and obviously not enjoing it. He actually had the cheek to say that i was only using him as a childminder so i could get my chores done ! WTF!

Aloha · 03/02/2006 22:23

My dh wouldn't dare look down his nose at me! ooooh noooo.

Original poster
Nemo1977 · 03/02/2006 22:58

festiveface that is awful I would go berserk..cheeky beggar..lol

Well shock of shocks dh has apologised!!!

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