mums to large families...

[bubblepop]

can anyone out there give me ANY tips to make my life easier? we are a family of 6, my eldest is 9 and my youngest is 6 weeks. i know ive got to try not to be superwoman, but the house is a tip and im so tired that im feeling lightheaded. i don't get any help from family,husband is good with kids and he will cook(!)but im finding it all really hard and beginning to think it would be easier to go to work than a stay at home mum(is it?)although thats not really what i want to do.my sil and sis are constantly trying to ring me and im ignoring their calls , not because i don't want to speak to them, but they don't seem to understand that i really don't have the time to chat for an hour!i can't seem to get across to them that in say, a 24 hr period, i might only have 15-20 mins to myself, in which time i might want to just have a cup of tea and a sandwich! am i being selfish?any tips from you lot on managing my time would be gratefully appreciated.

no words of advise but just wanted to say that I'm from a family of 6 and while I know it was very hard for my mum when we were younger (she had no family to help then either) as we got older we did help a lot more, we had a rota of chores and the workload weased considerably. I have great memories of the fun we had as a large family, there was always something going on at home and even today we are all still great friends and very close to one another. There is light at the end of the tunnel.

Can you rope the older kids into doing chores?
I think you might need to be more selfish - take the time for yourself and forget the house for an hour every day.
Remember your youngest is only 6 weeks, it will get easier quickly.

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agree with ggg, was 8 but now 6 in house, keeping on top of housework also buy a cordless phone as I have hour long convos whilst tidying around
asking kids to put laudry and dishes away and setting the table.
we also have only a couple of toys downstairs.
all mine at home are at school ft now so it is much easier now

Can't really be constructive either (no kids) but I'm the youngest of 6 too, my eldest brother was 10 when I was born. I remember being made to help out with chores from a very early age - don't ever remember not helping out - and I think this is a good thing

I too have very fond childhood memories - despite us being very poor - and there is definitely light at the end of the tunnel. Agree totally with eefs that you need an hour a day for you - it's not the end of the world if something doesn't get dusted/cleaned/ironed until tomorrow or the next day

Sorry I can't help more but in years to come you will look back on these times and think "didn't I do well" - I know my Mum does

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Hi bubblepop. I also have four kids ranging from one to seven. Our house is usually a tip too. I'm trying to put in the effort to get the older kids to clean up after themselves. I hide their art stuff now and only release what they're going to use, then insist they put it away. It seems to be starting to work, but it's a slow process.

Whenever it's meal or snack time I survey the room they've been in and say, 'You can have you meal/snack as soon as this place is properly tidy'. At first they hid the mess so you have to be disciplined and consistent at making them do it.

I've seen a slight improvement but honestly it's the hardest thing about having so many so young. Some days I'm literally running from one place to the next putting away laundry and clearing up mess, but they can still mess up quicker than I can tidy so it slides away.

Surely it's got to get better though, and you have to expect a certain degree of mess when you have a small baby.

Good luck and hang in.

ggg yeh, never knew you have 6 neither LOL
Hard work but defo worth it

friend who has 2 ds's (so not big family) makes them do all the washing up every night, bar one, then clean their room thoroughly once a week, for their pocket money. Good idea that! They are 8 and 9. She's now upping it for cleaning her car once a month, and says she will start upping it for them to do laundry too.

There are 7 of us so hectic house hold her too.

Limit the amount of toys that you allow donstairs. Rotate the boxes every week or so then the kids won't get bored with them.

Kids bags, shoes coats etc go upstairs with them when they get home from school. They change their bedsheets and hoover, polish their own rooms.

My 3 year old helps to set the table; the older ones have chores such as load dishwasher, wipe table, wash up, sweep floor.

Tidy everything as you go along. Fold washing and put away straight away. Tumble dry as much as you can so cut down on ironing.

Get the older ones to entertain the younger ones for half an hour so you can whizz round and tidy up etc.

When everyone has gone to bed, have a 20 minute clear up so the house is relatively straight when you come down in the mornings. Do pack lunches the night before.

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I've only got three but they are all 4 and under. I find keeping on top of the house so depressing. No matter how hard I work during the day it just seems to be a tip come bedtime. Dh works evenings so I'm on my own for the bedtime routine. I also get frustrated when friends don't seem to realise that you literally do not have a minute to yourself until they are all in bed.
The kids will tidy but they are so young that it often takes me longer to explain than to do it myself. I'm not sure if I'm managing my time well as it seems such a waste to be doing all the chores when it would be better to spend time with them. Any more tips welcome.

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As has been said.. the trick is delegating. I have a mere 5 children (huge respect to those with 6.... didn't know that Doormat... knew about ggg... the non letter poster lol).

Mine all have jobs to do, except the 2 yo twins who seem to feel that their job is one of destruction.

Nothing selfish about you. You have a 6 week old baby (never mind the rest of them). Next time the sisters call, tell them to come over and chat. And whilst they are there get them to cook a meal or do a bit of ironing for you.

Of course you are exhausted. Newborns tend to do that to a person.

I cope by knowing that the house may get messy, but the kids are loved and fed.

(oh yeah.... when I got pregnant with the DTs I was too sick to do anything and by the end of the pregnancy was so sick of having a filthy house - except the weekends my sisters came and cleaned it - that I got and still have a cleaner. She keeps me sane cos somehow there's an end to the mess)

I have 5 children, and I make them help out as much as possible. What really bothers me is the enormity of the task some days.

I get really frustrated when I think of the laundry, cleaning, dinners, and then the big things like sorting through clothes that have become too small, defrosting the freezer, cleaning the windows, the stuff that has to be put off til there's time (which there never is).

When I feel like screaming I make a list of TATT
or Tiny Achievable Tickable Tasks. So instead of putting down
Kitchen
Laundry
Sitting Room
Hoover

I put down:
Sweep kitchen
Clean surfaces
Tidy
Wash cupboard doors
Mop
Tidy sitting room
Hoover sitting room
Clear bookshelves of crap (this gets done rarely!)

And so on, so that I can see that although there is a mountain of work to be done, I have done something, and, bizarrely, it seems to help.

I also take a half hour break for lunch every day when ds3 watches TV and ds4 is napping, no matter what needs doing.

Having your sister over, so that she can see how busy you are is probably a good idea. I know mine was amazed at how little time I have, when she came to help out before ds4 was born.

I take my hat off to the lot of you!!! I thought 3 was bad enough! So, well done you lot!

come on poppies... you know you want more.

ooooooo nooooooo. DH was prompty sent off for snip when no 3 was 3 months old!!