SAHM's mindless chat....................

[LoveMyGirls]

Just wanted to say hi to all the SAHM's and just generally have a chat if thats ok....
i really love being at home with my children and i cant believe i didnt do it sooner, although i will be working again soon (as a childminder) but i do wish i could do this forever i find it so rewarding and im never bored. im only just starting to settle into a routine and ill have to start a new one when i start childminding. what do you all do, how long have you been at home, how long do you intend to stay at home for?

Glad to see you are enjoying being a SAHM LoveMyGirls.

I have dts aged 4 and have been a SAHM since they were born. Before that I was working in a bank call centre which defines boredom but I had worked a lot in the travel industry which I loved.

I hope when the time comes to return p/t to the travel industry. I'd like to have another baby (or two!) before I return to work but dh has just changed jobs to more regular shift pattern so I might take a little job on just to get back in the swing of things! I am in no rush to get back though as being a SAHM has been the best and most exhausting thing I have ever done and I will never regret it, not for one second. And that includes the seconds, minutes, hours where the two of them are having a huge fight!

i would really love to do this full time for as long as i wanted to but we cant afford that so i will have to work soon, im planning to become a childminder in march but if i cant get any children then i will have to work eve's/ wkends just so we can pay everything.

i've just had my 2nd dd and am loving every minute - yes even when she wakes me at 5am she is sooooooooooo cute but then i am biased dd1 is a help too of course there are the odd times i feel like im failing or im not doing well enough but overall im doing fine.

i used to work in an office and have done various other jobs, shops, bars etc just to get by but im happy to do whatever i can to survive as long as i get to spend time with my kids. i will be child free (well the responsibility will be far less) by the time im 40 so i can do whatever i want for a career then, not that theres anything in particular that i want to do apart from property developing and im in no position to do that now anyway.

i might like to work in the travel business or estate agents if given the chance though.....whats the travel business like TIBS?
SSD whats your view on childminding for a living, how do you find the time, i seem to constantly be doing something im worried about fitting it all in.

i agree with the friends thing which is why i work so hard to keep the close friends that i do have because finding others i get on so well with would be very hard.

I have been a sahm for 3.6 years and love it although I do think it is better when kids are a little older as your days can be more flexible. I am supposed to be going back to college in september, ds will only be 11 months and I feels so guilty as dd will have had me for over 4 years by then.

LoveMyGirls, some people can be very bitchy, and I include the boys but that is no different to any other job experience I have had! Both of my travel related jobs were very independent, think on your feet type which I thrived on.

I worked at the Lunn Poly call centre dealing with customer service, basically when holidays go wrong, very wrong. That I really enjoyed but we moved east and the job was in Weegieland so too far to travel. But I did enjoy being handed major problems and then having to sort it out. The best way to deal with tour operators was to flatter and use names! I was thinking of moving to a p/t job in a travel agency as Lunn Poly was swallowed up by its parent company a while back.

I also worked as a passenger services agent, which was check-in, boarding etc and a lot more fun than it sounds! But that has all changed too and the shifts wouldn't suit as you need to be very flexible if a flight is delayed, I was once stuck with the same flight for 18 hours but you can't very well say to your passengers, bye now, I'm off home.

There are so many opportunities in the travel industry really. What were you thinking of doing?

Hello - I'm SAHM to 3 boys aged almost 5 (in reception), just 3 (nursery 4 mornings) and 17 months (no childcare).

I love it though of course it's a bit dull sometimes!

I also work freelance - I'm a pharmaceutical market research data analyst/presentation/report writer. I do this in kids nap times, evenings and weekends.

I've been at home with the boys for just over 4 yrs now and have no intention of going back to office work! Will continue with freelancing which fits beautifully in school hours!

Hi folks - I've been a SAHM for 2.5 years (jeez, sounds like a first AA meeting)

I wouldn't have it any other way but I find it a struggle some days. Mine are 2 and 1. Really miss the adult company and tis difficult to make new close friends I agree. My friends who do have kids are too far away to just pop round . I do keep in touch with all my old childless chums in one way or another but don't get to see them as much as I'd like. Having said that I'm off out on Friday for my pal's birthday dinner then onto a club that we all used to frequent (which still exists I'm glad to say) so I'm getting on my dancing boots and shaking my funky groove thang!

In some ways I'm probably lucky - I am so quiet that although I had aquaintances when I was at work, I never had much in the way of close friends then anyway, it was always just me n DH. The one close friend I had before, I still have now as she already had children.

I have been a SAHM now for nearly 10 years and, owing to the fact I have 4 children, still have one at home for the next year and a half, so no release yet.

I can't say I have found being a SAHM all negative, otherwise I wouldn't have done it for so long, but I do wish I had kept up some part time work from the beginning. I would recommend all mums to try and do a tiny bit of work, either at home or in the workplace, right from the beginning, as I know how low my self esteem is now, and I really don't know how I am ever going to get back into work now after such a long break.

As for not having anything to say to other adults apart from talking about one's children, I first experienced that so long ago, that I now never talk to anyone, except for fellow parents. I suppose you can try to keep your mind alive by reading and listening to the radio, etc. I have just started going to the cinema (on my own) just because I got so fed up of not even knowing what the latest films were about.

Lovemygirls, I didn't find childminding easy I have to admit, lots of regulations and paperwork and the stress of having other peoples kids in your home 8 hours a day - all for £2.75 an hour.

I've almost given it up, I only look after a child 10 hours a week just now. I make up the money by babysitting in the evenings, maybe you could think of that. For me it involves a lot less hassle than minding and it pays better. But please don't let me put you off minding, there are loads of girls on here who find minding suits them and they are making a good job of it.

Good luck in your decision!
ssd x x x

i am sahm tho my two children are at school . I am self employed and if you have basic experience or can do training and have computer it is amazing how much work you can do from home. I love it even tho i was forced into it through car crash when ds was only 10mths old wouldnt change a thing now

I've been a SAHM since 21 December 2005. Enjoying it but no time to mumsnet any longer (used to be a prolific contributor - but that was all during my previous office hours).

I manage social contact with others (i.e what am I to talk to them about other than children) by keeping up with the news (current affairs always a good fall back), or by asking them about themselves (most people are enormously vain and will whitter on about themselves for hours)

Have just realised I have been SAHM for 4 years
My SIL can't understand why i don't get bored but ,TBH, I don't really understand why people think you can get bored being at home, but not at work! At the moment, life is really hectic as I suddenly had a pang of guily that DS2 wasn't getting so many opportunities as DS1 got so I take him to gym on Mondays and swimming on Weds mornings. Coupled with 2 toddler groups (one I go to because I sort of feel I should and the other I go to because it is good) my mornings are very busy (DS1 at nursery every morning). It's certainly not boring - a bit mad and rushed and stressful sometimes.
I am a school governor, sing in a choir and do various things for my church so I have quite a bit going on outside of home too.

I've been a SAHM since June 05, although I had to give up work Dec 04 on doctors recommendations. I intend to stay at home until my daughter is at school, and sometimes that feels like an eternity and sometimes not long enough!
I do get bored sometimes and lonely, but I read in the evenings, talk to DH, have the internet and try and get out every afternoon for a walk. Doesnt make it easier that we moved to Switzerland 3 weeks ago, so I have no idea of what groups etc there are for me to join, and it would probably be easier if I spoke French (only had two months warning to move). Hoping to finish the OU course I started whilst pregnant so my brain stays alive a bit!

what did you all do today>?

i have had a lovely day i have been food shopping, been to see my friend for a cuppa, went to the park and museum with dd's and have not long got home dp is out tonight so we are having spag bol (which he hates but is dd1's fav) and then hopefully one of my girlie friends is coming round - bliss

School run, bank, shops, lunch (alone), laundry, school run, tea for kids, MN, about to take DDs to swimming lessons, then out for meal with friends, while DP babysits.

No wonder I get bored, really, is it? Tonight may well be my last night out for a while, as baby is due soon.

Today?

Dropped dd at pre-school, took ds to swimming lesson and we both hung out in the bar afterwards (me reading a paper whilst he munched mini cheddars), picked dd up from pre-school, cleaned out the chicken house, had friend over for tea with her 2 children. Not high octane excitement granted, but good enough for me.

Surprised at the people who don't work even when their kids are at school all day.
Aren't you a bit bored??

Jeez work is boring though (paid work that is). I was in a well paid role before I jacked it in (I mention this only to illustrate that it was supposedly more challenging than the run of the mill) but it left me utterly cold.

dropped ds and dd off at school came home made beds had cuppa and biscuit!!! then went to yoga for 1hour and half came home had bacon buttie then read new next directory with cuppa then picked up dd and ds who have been put on wonder wall at school at same time really proud of them as dd in reception and ds in yr3 made my day . I luv being a sahm wouldnt swap for all money in the world

I am a SAHM and have been for 14 years now!! I have four children who are now all at school. I used to be a nurse but gave up when my oldest (now almost 14) was born as we moved to a new area. My registration lapsed and now I would love to have a part time job or return to nursing but what job can I have that would mean that I was here for the children? I am volunteering as a child support person at my children's primary school for a three half days a week and am doing an EDCL course as well. However I would love to earn some money of my own as I haven't been paid for 14 years and I miss it!! The children have so many after school activities that I can't see how I can go back to nursing (even the return to nursing course is difficult because we live in the country and it takes an hour to get to the nearest one). Any ideas?

dollyd - I've recently let my nursing registration lapse, after trying to go back part time with no success - I felt I was just doing two jobs badly, and needed to commit myself more to one or the other (so I chose my kids)
I have no ideas as to what job is suitable (apart from working in a school in some capacity).
I'd like to know what you dod do though as I will be in your position in a few more years (I have two at school, but another on the way).

Jasnen and Dollyd, I have the same dilemma too. Registration lapsed, enquired about return to nursing course, next one starts in June!!! Right over the summer holidays. Unable to consider it. Will also have difficulties maintaining registration again. Life is much more complicated!!

I've been a sahm since April 05, ds 2.4 dd 6 m. technically I'm still on ml, though I can't see myself going back. I quite like it actually! Def more thsn I thought I would. Its bloody hard work at times but I love being there for them all the time. The worse is how physically hard it is, all the lifting and bending and stuff. But my job was boring a lot of the time-endless paperwork, explaining stuff repeatedly.

Actually don't think adult conversaytion is hard but think other adults make real assumptions about you if you're a SAHM. Eg people think I'm studying cos I didn't manage it before I had kids, actually no I have a 1st class honours degree already, I just have a bit of time now to study something I'm interested in. etc.

I'm also doing an OU degree with a view to retraining, so freel justified in ignoring the kids (and housework) for a few hours each day to study.