Weepy and depressed, is this PMT, PND, or am I just mad ??

[ANGELMOTHER]

I wasn't sure which topic to post this under. My dd2 is now nearly 8 weeks old and the most dreamily adorable ball of perfect cuteness ever seen (honestly she is).
I've been having quite a few problems with dh lately and am really wondering if we have a future or not together, have huge money worries, the usual credit card debts etc but income doesn't even meet outgoings etc.

TBH even considering all of the above I am a strong person and have got through worse but in the last few days I feel uncontrollably weepy and pessimistic. The only thing I can compare it to is severe PMT, so my question is could it be PMT (am b/feeding exclusively), could it possibly be PND or am I being naieve and it's simply that things are just getting on top of me.

I know this sounds silly that I should know my own mind but I feel so addled and unable to cope with anything more than me and my two girls basic needs at the mo that I truly can't see the wood for the trees.

Angelmother,

I have no answer for you, but wanted to tell you to hang in there. I get like that sometimes too, and I only have one daughter to take care of!

Just wanted to let you know that you're not alone. I was searching for past threads on this very subject, and someone had put a link to the Association for Post Natal Illness .

I presume if you are "b/f exclusively" then you are having to get up in the middle of the night .... Thus Sleep Deprivation .... which - IMO - is a HUGE contributing factor for you to temporarily lose your rose tinted glasses I remember ( all those years ago ) that I FINALLY turned the corner at 12 weeks .... and I lived every minute until I got there ..... Don't do anything rash or scold yourself too much ... hormones and lack of sleep are most likely the main reasons for your sadness.
I don't want to dismiss any problems that you might be having ... but believe me ... it does get better.
Good Luck and keep posting

am in similar situation, 10 week old absoluetly divine, similar issues with Dh and money ... you know what angelmothr, I think because we've done thid childbirth new baby thing before we think we know what to expect but there is SO much going on with mind body and soul that it feels far more confusing and overwhelming than last time.
Some days I am up up up and others I feel like crawling under the bed with large bar of chocolate. I have snapped at DS1 and Dh and all that kindof stuff and after 10 weeks I put it down to hormonal upheaval and most importantly nver having a bloddy minute to myself to get some head space about anything - form plucking eyebrows to how to pay off credit card.
So don't giv eyourself a hard time, get lovely magazine, run bath and count blessings nad you rbody will return to some semblance of normality.
Take your time and just count your blessings.

Am hoping to follow my own advice a bit later this evening

I don't mean to sound patronising and holier than about counting your blessings, angelmother, I really mean hold on in there we all feel like this in the first three months with second baby, it would seem.

The sleep dep, the hormones, the durdgery.

I didn't use this chat site with DS1 but I find it invaluable this time around and evidently so do the rest of you. Hurrah

Hold on in there Angelmother, you have done massive achievement by bringing 2 DDs in to the world,

angel mother i remember after my dd was born feeling ughh about my husband. i thought this is the end for our relationship, he drove me mad, i couldnt see anyting in comparison between us and i always found fault with everything. i was b/f, he was useless he just didnt understand, once i got thru to christmas she was born in october i flet better and perhaps the mood passed. my HV in feb did notice i still seemed down after doing the routine questionnaire they have. maybe call yours and ask her round?.

i think you focus on baby, ask your friends to help with your older baby/toddler and things will rectify with your husband.
try to avoid the scenes that you get upset in, maybe eat dinner in the day and let him eat his in the evening. its a huge pressure on you but talk to your HV, best friend and someone close who has been in your position.
i think we panic with new babies and the household earnings versus outgoings, its sort of joy on one hand but will we manage on the other?.there is huge unseen pressure.
i am sure you are ok finacially at the moment so stay in the present, dont fret at this time .
maybe your husband is anxious too and cant show it.just mention your worries casually , dont expect an answer from him and hopefully he'll mull your feelings over at work or in the car or when he's bathing one of your children.

you will cope and are coping.

Thanks everyone, you are right about taking no 2 in our stride but forgetting how hard it really is. It's the hormone thing I find hardest in a way, no control and wanting to just cry ALL the time.

Dh and I have issues between us which seem to never be resolved which gets me down. I went back home for a month in March to give us some space etc but I just feel as though those problems are still there. He is a wonderfull father and at heart a good man whom I do love but it all seems just TOO hard sometimes when you don't feel appreciated at all.
Never having time to yourself is definitely hard, I find when dh comes home I'm oft to be heard saying we need milk/bread etc when we don't just to get out and drive aimlessly for a half hour. That's what I need today, dh been away since 4am, won't be back till v.late.

Today just seems rotten and dd2 is so poorly with this cold, dd2 is whiney....oh and I'm on my 2nd day off the fags so no wonder........
I know I'm just moaning now, sorry

Oh Angel, I just wanted to let you know i'm thinking of you. We're in this tired sleep deprived boat together and by the sounds of it both our little bundle are pretty much prefect.......no sorry let me re-phrase that......they are perfect. Maybe we could set a date for their wedding now!!!!
I do remember thinking how useless and pointless it was that DH was around with DS2, he just didn't seem to know what to do for me or him and I remember screaming at him at 3am once because he didn't know how DS2 liked to have his bottle, you know what was comfy for him/temp etc simply because he hardly every feed him. But it did get better, obviously as we now have DS3(your DD2 future husband ), just enjoy your DD's and take care of yourself. Let your DH worry about everything else(I know thats a difficult thing to do).
I feel very lucky to not even have had the baby blues, and luckily my DH seems to be doing things right this time.

Angel (((HUGS)))

Can I just say combination of money, relationship, bf, hormones, stress and GIVING UP FAGS is enough to make anyone feel like this

Seems we have a fair bit going on that we are both going through so please feel free to contact me if you want to share our woes offline.

Becca
xxx

LOL Emma shall we start the wedding arrangements then, as Mother of the bride I am bound to be neurotic though

Thanks Becca, I thought of you but it just doesn't seem fair for all of this to be happening to us at this time does it. How's little Harvey and how are things with you, your thread has gone a bit quiet ??

I'll update there to keep it up to date
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