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Original poster

You know all those threads about people who feel ignored in the playground and groups of uber-mums?

23 replies

Twiglett · 26/01/2006 12:29

well I've got to the stage where I just can't fit any more acknowledgements of people in

I don't have the energy to build any new friendships

I barely get to talk to the people I already know

.. I have joined the enemy haven't I?

.. and I know in a few terms I'll get my comeuppance

OP posts:
TambaTheDragonSlayer · 26/01/2006 12:30

You make poor nervous moms feel like crap!

Shame on you

TambaTheDragonSlayer · 26/01/2006 12:31

Now I feel guilty for Joking.... Are you ok, why dont you have the energy? Are you feeling down?

puff · 26/01/2006 12:33

I say hello to anyone who catches my eye, but I only "full on" chat to one Mum who I have been friends with since ds1 was in nursery. Not very interested in anything more, particularly the mountain of "playdates" that go with it. One a week is quite enough.

TinyGang · 26/01/2006 12:36

Oh, I agree! I can't cope with what I've got - too many people and kids in my life makes my head spin.

FrannyandZooey · 26/01/2006 12:37

LOL poor poor Twiglett, a victim of your own popularity

flashingnose · 26/01/2006 12:37

God help you if you ever move then .

Original poster
Twiglett · 26/01/2006 12:39

we have playdates every night .. and I mean every night .. so much so that DS complains if no-one is coming round .. he's not even 5 yet

plus doing stuff during the day with DD

I'm constantly running out of coffee and tea (I don't ever make in my own house because people are so used to being here they help themselves )

Just feel sad that I might be one of those parents that 'nervous' parents fear .. and I don't mean to be ..

OP posts:
Firefox · 26/01/2006 13:01

Wow - I envy you. dd has only had 1 playdate from her school and no signs of any other. I have asked one mum and her ds but I didn't get any reply so I must admit that has put me off asking anyone else. I do say hello to all the other mums, and go to various coffee mornings they hold. I fear I must be doing something wrong or be seen as a weird mum . Anyway Twiglett any words of advice from you would be appreciated !

Original poster
Twiglett · 26/01/2006 13:14

grow a thick skin and keep asking .. just ask people you enjoy, or think you might enjoy, chatting to

how rude of someone not to reply? did you ask her personally? were you specific on date? have you asked again

OP posts:
Firefox · 26/01/2006 13:27

Yes I did ask her personally - she seemed really nice and friendly, but she kept giving vague answers as to when they could come. I asked her twice and then gave up - partly also because it was breaking my dd's heart as to why her little friend couldn't come to play.

cod · 26/01/2006 13:28

Message withdrawn

flashingnose · 26/01/2006 13:30

Be fair cod, I've been told by someone when I asked them for a coffee that they "had enough friends thanks".

Enid · 26/01/2006 13:30

I have befriended a new mum

she never stops talking and now comes and seeks me out like a homing missile

sometimes I just like to sit in my car in the warm and listen to the news

Enid · 26/01/2006 13:31

everyone at dd1s school seems to have mates

so i never feel guilty

there is one new woman but she is too weird

she has really bad teeth and long stringy hair and a drinkers face

I am a bit scared of her so avoid

bunyanvillas · 26/01/2006 13:44

I appreciate what everyone is saying here! But surely a smile and a hello aren't too much? It can be soooo daunting - and lonely - when you don't know anyone!

Aloha · 26/01/2006 13:45

Or you could be like me, live literally one minute from school, tear out to collect ds at 11.29 (he finishes at 11.30) so never have time to talk to anyone or be spoken to! I do realise this is Not A Good Thing though.

mszebra · 26/01/2006 13:46

I'm too busy keeping an eye on my kids to chat... Would like to have some friends, but would be at the expense of my kids' safety.

Original poster
Twiglett · 26/01/2006 13:53

point is I always went out of my way to smile at people I didn't know .. I also tried to strike up conversations with people who seemed shy / nervous / out of place

I have only just realised that now I really risk being rude to friends and even acquaintances trying to acknowledge other people .. almost like they don't have my undivided attention but I'm looking over their shoulder for the next person. I am trying desperately not to do that

I just fear its like this precarious house of cards and that I'm just going to play it wrong at some stage and hurt someone's feelings

OP posts:
Original poster
Twiglett · 26/01/2006 13:54

Aloha .. you know I live a minute from school

OP posts:
Aloha · 26/01/2006 13:56

Yes, but you are more organised and less crap than I am, and get there with more than 20 seconds to spare! Ds isn't the last child to be picked up, but it's a close-run thing...

cod · 26/01/2006 13:56

Message withdrawn

puff · 26/01/2006 14:33

Flippin eck Twig - a playdate every night! Would drive me bonkers.

saadia · 26/01/2006 14:40

I have to say I am very lucky that I've kind of made friends with several of the mums at ds's nursery - we go out for coffee every two weeks - and I do chat to most of the other mums and dads when I see them most of whom are lovely, warm,friendly people.

But there is one group of 4/5 mums who only talk to each other and won't even say hello if they see you coming which I think is beyond rude considering that we all see each other every day. It's like they've got their little group and just won't bother with anyone else. I think they all know each other from before. But politeness costs nothing.

Twiglett while I can see your dilemma I really hope you don't become like them.

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