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Original poster

Help me with my moral dilemma please court of Mumsnet...............

14 replies

northerner · 25/01/2006 21:31

My dh's Father and Step Mum live abroad in Spain for 8 months of the year. I get on well with both of them, particularly his step mum (they hve been married for about 19 years)Lets call them Jeremy and Paula

Anyway, the other day, I was in the town centre on my lunch break and I bumped into an old family friend. She did the usual of asking me how everyone was, did we have a good christmas etc etc. Then all of a sudden she exclaimed 'Oh, I heard what happenned with Jeremy and Paula' and I said 'What do you mean?' and she said 'He left her for 6 weeks last year' When she saw how stunned I was, she said 'Oh you didn't know?' Apparrantly her hairdresser Melissa told her this, she had heard it from Paula's best friend who also uses the same hairdresser (Paula's hairdresser too).
I'm not sure if there is any truth in this, but as they live in Spain it could have happenned without us knowing.

So, I want to tell Paula, as I think she has a right to know that her hairdresser/best friend are spreading these rumours. We live in a smallish town and they are quite well known, so you can guarantee everyone in her social circle will have heard this. Dh and his brother however think I could be opening a hornets nest and I should stay out of it.

Over to you ladies...........

OP posts:
moondog · 25/01/2006 21:33

Maybe it's true so technically not a rumour?

LKeave it,they'll be talking about someone else in a few weeks.
Idle gossip is by its nature ephemeral.

Rhubarb · 25/01/2006 21:41

Hmmm, I would stay well out actually. By telling them you get yourself involved and whilst your intentions may be good, you may find yourself on the receiving end of some hostility.

MarsOnLife · 25/01/2006 21:47

Personally......... the best way to kill a rumour is not to perpetuate it.

I'd leave it be (despite the burning curiosity inside of me). If it happened and you get on well with Paula then I'm sure at some stage she will tell you.

Until then... it's just a rumour and a rumour that stops with you.

peachygirl · 25/01/2006 21:55

I think I agree with mars on life although I would be tempted to ask myself!
you could her innocently how everything was going as it was getting near to their twenty year anniversary special time etc and see if she opened up?

Original poster
northerner · 25/01/2006 21:58

As far as I'm aware everything is OK. They are in Thailand for a month's holiday.

OP posts:
peachygirl · 25/01/2006 22:04

how regularly do you talk to them? I know DH's aren't especially good at ringing parents would she / he ever have indicated they weren't together, could it have been a relativly innocent 'break'?

Original poster
northerner · 25/01/2006 22:07

She calls us every Sunday, don't always speak to him as he's often out playing golf. So technically, 6 weeks could have passed without speaking to him.

But my issue is not if it's true or not, I don't want her to explain, but hate the fact that her hairdresser is telling people this. True or not.

OP posts:
LeahE · 25/01/2006 22:08

Stay out of it. I can't see that anything good will come out of telling Paula.

wannaBe1974 · 25/01/2006 22:08

Agree with others, I would leave well alone, and as peachy said it could be an innocent break, or it could even not have happened at all, chinese whispers and all that, remember reading a post on chat earlier about someone who was supposedly running from the law and in Uganda when they actually only lived 200 miles away. I'd imagine that if the break was signifficant they would have told you.

going4potty · 25/01/2006 22:26

Leave well alone, theyll soon find someone else to talk about.

Mytwopenceworth · 25/01/2006 22:50

i'd stay out of it. if they wanted you to know something about their relationship, they would tell you themselves. besides, it could be chinese whispers and then you would feel daft.

Mytwopenceworth · 25/01/2006 22:52

ahem hello wannabe74 I am your echo. - i really should read ALL the replies before posting!

and the thread on chat was me - im on the run, apparently!!

edam · 25/01/2006 23:00

Oooh I know the sensible advice is to stay out of it... but if it was my family, I wouldn't be able to resist trying to find out what on earth was going on.

Are you worried about the alleged split in itself, or more worried about not being told? Or merely by the fact that there is gossip (however accurate or not it is)?

Rhubarb · 27/01/2006 11:21

Perhaps you should tell the hairdresser that your friend would not like it if she knew that so-called secrets were being passed around in this way?

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