Another Grandparent very ill - how do we prepare DD?

[katzg]

DH's mum (53) had cancer and passed away Aug 2004, DD1(now 3) didn't cope very well, and went through a long phase of refusing to admit she was ill, we think because she thought it meant she would go to the hospital and never see us again. She seems to have gotten over it and has recently let us know she has a headache or tummyache, not much but a huge step for her, before she was quite obviously in pain but won't admit it.

So the dilema we now face is that DH's dad (55) hospital and its not looking good, he has had another stroke, he might pull through but then again he might not. We want to prepare DD but we don't want a repeat of the last time she lost a grandparent.

I've added the grandparents ages because they aren't old, which was the line we took with the dog when she died.

Can anyone advise?

thanks

i will see if i can find another book, we have one called my bunny died last night, it didn't quite work, when her dog died DD1 just replied, its sad but it okay because i can have a bunny!

katzg, I am so sorry for your dh. My Dad died in 2002 and my Mum died on 11th January this year. Dad was 55 and Mum was 54. I absolutely empathise.

Ds is a little older (5) but when Mum was really ill we talked about her approaching death and ds knows this means she would be 'gone' because of Dad. We always talk of Dad still being with us in our hearts and all by himself ds decided "nanny was here, now she has died and is fone, but she is still in our hearts" and this absolutely satisfies him. We talk about them, he came to the funerals and tehy will always be in our hearts. I hope this helps.

How are you doing?

obviously 'fone' means 'gone'

thanks for the help winnie

We're doing okay, i think the biggie for us is the unknown, the next 24 hr are going to be the most important, if if stabilises then he could keep going for years, its just how to prepare DD1.

Think we will just stick with the he's very poorly line at the mo and wait until we know more.