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Original poster

Dogs, strangers, children and rudenss

16 replies

IlanaK · 24/01/2006 16:47

Today I was in the park with my two boys and there was a man with a dog not on a lead. The dog ran straight for my boys (not in any agressive way, but straight at them). My youngest is only 19 months and is scared of dogs. He was attacked by a dog (my Aunt's) and is understandably wary if they come close.

Anyway, when he moved towards me with scared noises, the man started commenting. I explained they were scared of dogs and this started a bit of an arguement. I did tell him that my little one had been attacked by a dog and he tried to make out it must have been the wrong type of dog for us to be around. Anyway, I asserted by right as a parent to decide if I want my children around dogs or not (he was trying to get his dog to sit so that I would bring my boys to stroke it - and he was quite insitant). ANyway, the whole thing ended with us walking away and him calling me both rude and a bad parent.

So, here is my thing/debate: I don't dislike dogs. I grew up with one. But I have chosen not to have one now - we live in a flat amongst other reasons. I have taught my oldest not to touch dogs he doesn't know - but it is ok to stroke a dog if he is with me and i have said its ok. I am not instilling a fear of dogs into them, but a healthy respect. I also have no problem with people who walk their dogs off leads in the park - However, here is my issue: if you walk a dog without a lead, it should not be running up to people (not just children, but anyone). I think it is the owner's responsibility to keep the dog under control. If the dog will come when called, then that is fine (and I would expect the owner to call it immediately if it was running at us) and if it won't, then it should be on a lead.

I know that not everyone will agree with this so I am curious of other people's views. We live in central london and have no garden so we use the parks a lot. This is something that does bother me.

OP posts:

LeftOverTurkey · 24/01/2006 16:50

I agree.

Twiglett · 24/01/2006 16:51

think bloke you met was a jackass (fullstop)

NotQuiteCockney · 24/01/2006 16:52

I agree with you about dogs off lead.

I think some fear of dogs is understandable in kids. I've trained my eldest (4y) to talk to the owner before he pets a strange dog, which is a similar cautious position.

I find most dogs, out and about, are fine, totally safe. But helpfully, my neighbour has a dog who isn't great.

NotQuiteCockney · 24/01/2006 16:52

Oh, and for a dog owner to be insistant that you should get your kids to pet their dog is insane. Who knows how you feel about dogs, how they feel about dogs, what sort of day everyone's having?

Just because he loves dogs, doesn't mean everyone else has to!

BethAndHerBrood · 24/01/2006 16:53

I agree with you. I have a dog, often walk her without a lead, but she comes when she is told, and does as i say. Another thing that bothers me is when other dogs not on leads run after her and wont leave her alone. She is quite timid, gets freaked fairly easily by other dogs, she comes when i call her and the other dogs just follow!!! Another example of people not respecting others.

bootsmonkey · 24/01/2006 16:53

Absolutely agree with everything you say. As for calling you a bad parent for your well framed concern, man is obviously a nutter. I hope he picks up it's poo after it.....

Bink · 24/01/2006 16:54

Horrid experience. Unfortunately I think you ran across a weird aggressive idiot (who happened to have a dog).

Anyone normal/nice, as soon as you'd mentioned the bad experience, would have said they understood, probably apologised, definitely gone their own way. I can't actually believe he badgered you to pat the dog!! - that's extraordinary.

We're central London too, and though mine much older now we've been through exactly the same. We had the lovely opposite experience a few weeks ago with an elderly American couple with their spaniel puppy - after I'd said dd had had a bad experience they apologised, picked up the puppy and gently invited her to pat it, if she'd like to. So of course dd felt safe and did. And I always look out for them when we're in the park - feel like we made friends.

LeftOverTurkey · 24/01/2006 16:58

Some people take it personally if you don't share their enthusiasm for their pet and become quite evangelical about it.

CountessDracula · 24/01/2006 17:04

I agree

I always ask my dog to wait if she looks like she is going up to someone. And if I see a child looking scared (she is big and could look scary!) then I put her on the lead to reassure the child.

uwila · 24/01/2006 17:17

I agree too. Interestingly, we had a dog run at us this past Saturday. We were on a Charles Dickens walk and were in some graaveyard near Kings Cross (can't remember the name of it now). There was a small dog. I don't know the breed but looked like a small bulldog came running at me, DH, DD (almost 3 yrs), and DS (8 months). The dog was perfectly friendly but as it was running straight for DS, I stepped in front of his pram and put my hand out. I did this because I was thinking, I don't know this dog from Adam. He might attack. And if he was going to attack, it damned sure wasn't going to be my 8 month old baby. Well, the dog was perfectly friendly and the owner was VERY apologetic. But, I did think if she had half a brain she would have yelled out to let us know the dog was friendly before it reached us. No harm done, but I did think a lot of people might have been a bit freaked out.

SorenLorensen · 24/01/2006 17:25

I've posted this before so sorry for repeating myself but when ds1 was about 2 I was pushing him in his buggy through the park and a boxer dog (not on a lead) jumped up on him - put its front paws on his knees and started licking his face. He was hysterical - and I didn't dare grab its collar in case it bit him. The woman 'walking' it was shouting its name but it didn't respond for what seemed like ages. When she reached us she was laughing and she said "awwww, he wouldn't have hurt him..." I was absolutely furious and said if the dog didn't come when called she shouldn't let it off the lead. She called me an uptight bitch or something equally pleasant.

Some dog owners (not all) simply can't understand anyone not loving their dog as much as they do.

Ds1 was covered in mud and dog slobber and is still very wary of dogs.

Original poster

IlanaK · 24/01/2006 17:48

Phew! I am glad I was not over reacting. It was exactly as said on here - he obviously felt that everyone should totally love his dog and were insane if they did not. I feel fairly ambivilant about dogs - I neither love them nor loathe them. But I certainly want to be able to protect my right to not have one come at me when I am on a walk.

OP posts:

Mog · 24/01/2006 18:29

Almost the same thing happened to me last week. I'm normally a polite sort of person but ended up shouting like a fishwife at two dog owners.
I was in the car park of a big nature reserve with dd (4) ds (3) and baby in pram. Out of nowhere a huge dog the size of my kids came bounding up to us. Like your example he wasn't aggresive but the kids were terrified and screaming and I didn't want to push it away (it was huge) in case it turned on us. It was a good 2-3 minutes (a long time when you are trying to calm children) before a man and lady (about 50) appeared. I called to them to call the dog and ended up screaming at them for their inertia.
The man just walked past me with a smirk. The woman stopped and blamed ME for giving the kids the wrong attitude. She said they had been slow to come in case they slipped on the mud.

Why if you have a huge dog do you let it out of your site? She said she had called the dog but I pointed out the obviuos that it wasn't obeying her. I was so livid and still am now typing this. Ds1 already had a scare with a dog and they were really upset as we went for a walk in the park. As I say this is very out of character of me to shout at strangers but dog owners can be so ignorant.

FrannytheQuinoaEater · 24/01/2006 18:42

Agree totally. Letting a large animal jump up at a small child is bloody insane yet it happens ALL THE TIME - the owner described above is certainly not a one off, unfortunately.

Blu · 24/01/2006 18:44

Some dog owners are outrageous.

I completely agree that if dogs are off a lead in a park, they should be trained and obedient, and owners should call them back from running at people.

Last year, a dog on a beach cocked it's leg up and weed on my rucksac. I called (politely) to the owner that she might want to keep him on a lead because of what he had done...and she started screaming abuse at me!

I have been bitten on the leg by an enthusiastic alsation puppy - whose owner didn't apologise but uttered the immortal 'he's only trying to be friendly', and when I said 'I know that, but that's why he should be on a lead. A toddlers face is at the level of these teeth marks' (the skin was broken) he started shouting abuse.

DS is terified of dogs, has had no bad experiences, but every owner who thinks it's good for kids to be exposed to their charging, bouncing, slobbering, open-mouthed hulk of hound just makes the problem worse.

ThePrisoner · 24/01/2006 18:51

I'm a little nervous of dogs myself (was hurt by one when I was little). My eldest dd was very nervous of dogs, as she was "attacked" (not bitten) by dog when she was little. My only bugbear with dog owners, when their dog rampaged towards my small children, is when they said, "don't worry, it won't hurt them." I didn't want to be rude, but it is exactly what did happen to both me and my dd by so-called "gentle" dogs.

Totally agree with your reaction IlanaK.

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