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Original poster

Does anyone else buy their other children pressies on birthdays?

45 replies

Blossomhill · 15/01/2006 11:27

We do mainly because it's ds's birthday today and is so near christmas. So when it's dd's birthday in August he has a few to open. When I say few I mean 1 from me, 1 from my parents and 1 from MIL.
I think it stemmed from when they were both little as only 19 months between them.
Just wondered if any one else does it.

OP posts:
Aloha · 15/01/2006 11:28

I don't. They get a slice of their sibling's birthday cake and that's it!

HellyBelly · 15/01/2006 11:30

I only have one ds but I used to get presents on my brother and sisters birthdays. This is probably because they are twins and only 18 months younger than me?

Sorry no help really

Original poster
Blossomhill · 15/01/2006 11:30

I think it's one of those things that has just carried on iykwim.

OP posts:
MarsOnLife · 15/01/2006 11:31

No.

Original poster
Blossomhill · 15/01/2006 11:33

Infact forgot to mention even my next door neighbour buys the other child a present.

OP posts:
mears · 15/01/2006 11:35

No I don't. I have never seen the need TBH. I think it is part of groing up that you learn that some people get things when you don't. Maybe I am just mean

Miaou · 15/01/2006 11:46

I can understand how it started blossomhill, but no I don't and I wouldn't be happy if someone else did - they have to learn that it's not "their" day it is their sibling's day! Dd2 is 7 and tbh when it is her sister's birthday it is a good reminder that there are other people in the world apart from herself

Miaou · 15/01/2006 11:47

Does your dd get given presents on your ds's birthday then Bloss?

SPARKLER1 · 15/01/2006 11:48

No. My two have had to learn that their turn will come. Hard mother that I am!

hockeymum · 15/01/2006 11:56

yes - my sister and I always had one small-ish non-birthday present from each other (we carried this on till we were in our mid 20s) It felt good to have one little thing and put the jealousy at bay a bit.

My DS is due in April and DD will have a present from him at the hospital and will also have one from him every birthday and vice-versa. Probably just something they would have had during the course of the year anyway (so not big - just something like an activity sticker book or something to keep them entertained). I think its nice to include them a little.

corblimeymadam · 15/01/2006 12:02

This reply has been deleted

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Goldfish · 15/01/2006 12:14

My dss are 16 months apart and I never did it, but MIL always inisisted on it. Just a little something she would say, and they would get sweets and a book or something like that.
I put my foot down when they reached 5 though, as like I said to her, they are involved in everyhing else, party or day out or whatever.

Beetrootfultoyourself · 15/01/2006 12:16

Blimey I owuld be bankrupt if I did that. No. they have their own birthdays. Like the fact that they enjoy watching ther siblings opening presents and not always want osmehtig for themslevs

Meanoldmummy · 15/01/2006 12:32

I considered it, because I am soft-hearted and was worried about how ds1 would react on ds2's first b'day - but decided to bite the bullet and not set the precedent. He took it brilliantly as it happened. He was already used to not getting anything on my birthday, or daddy's, grandma's etc. I do buy them a couple of big things at Christmas which are for both of them, though, as well as their own pressies - eg an art easel, or a tent which I think they should unwrap together and then share.

SoupDragon · 15/01/2006 12:36

No way. DSs birthdays are a week apart and the second one doesn't even get to open their own presents early. It's not their birthday!

fireflyfairy2 · 15/01/2006 12:37

mine are 3 yrs and 3 days apart. my ds has just turned 1 and dd turned 4. DD got her gifts on her b'day and ds got his on his b'day

lovecloud · 15/01/2006 12:38

I would not do it as its an early lesson in life that its not all about "you".

i came from a large family so we were used to all of us having our birthdays and there was never an ounce of jealousy from any of us towards the birthday child in fact we would be happy for that person. I think that is important that children can be "happy" for someone else. giving the other child a present too is not teaching them that it is someone elses special day and that is about "that" person.

i think it could make a child spoild and not a good idea.

very small children do not care about those things, as long as they have a toy to play with they are happy.

Meanoldmummy · 15/01/2006 12:42

I agree lovecloud. I remember coming downstairs on my 9th birthday and seeing my presents wrapped up on the table, and my 11 year old brother jummping up and down hugging me with excitement. There was nothing in it for him, he was just genuinely, altruistically happy for me. There's a tendency IMO to expect very little from children in the way of finer feeling (a la chocolates in advent calendars - we used to get wildly excited just about the little pictures!) It's nice for children to celebrate/share each other's happiness, it promotes closeness.

NomDePlume · 15/01/2006 12:47

We used to do 'unbirthday' presents for the DSs as they were close in age and they didn't really understand why their sibling was getting presents and they weren't, they also used to fight something chronic over the new birthday present.

The 'unbirthday' gift was just something small, like a Christmas stocking filler and they only got the one from DH & I. Now that they are older we don't do it anymore, we stopped when DS1 was about 9 (DS2 would've been 7.5). DD was born when DS1 was 10 so she's never known the 'unbirthday' phenomenon and we decided not to bring it back when she was born.

TeddyRobinson · 15/01/2006 12:47

No I don't.

misdee · 15/01/2006 12:49

we did until last year. but this year what with dh in hospital for dd2 birthday i forgot to get dd1 small present (usually just a small doll/bear/toy around 2pounds). so i dont think it'll be carried on anymore. and dd1 and dd3 birthdays are only a fortnight apart, dd1 is sharing her birthday party with dd3. (i dont know any other babies really as well )

NomDePlume · 15/01/2006 12:51

Obv my DSs still are close in age

roisin · 15/01/2006 13:15

I think once ds1 got a present from my mum when it was ds2's first birthday. DS1 was nearly 3 at the time, and I asked my mum not to do it in future for the reasons others give below.

My only exception to this sort of principle is when someone has a second or third baby, when I am more likely to buy a small 'new birth' gift for the siblings than for the baby or parents, as it can be a tough time for older siblings.

Meanoldmummy · 15/01/2006 13:17

yes, I did that when ds2 was born. I bought ds1 a big boy's watch and hid it under the blanket in ds2's cot for him to take out. I think that's different - a bit like handing out cigars, except that he's too young for a cigar!!!!

charliecat · 15/01/2006 13:21

My two were born on the same day so I dont have this problem, had they been born a couple of days apart I would have let the non birthday one have one early/save one.

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