Am I being unreasonable, ungrateful etc etc no. 4,567,483

[rickman]

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every weekend? both days? Have to say I'd be irritated.

Well, it's unusual. Sounds like you don't actually enjoy their company though. And the hanging around even though not speaking thing is bizarre.

Can you persuade them to do something else next weekend and see how if feels without them? Or suggest you make it Saturdays only?

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God i couldn't stand that, ven if they did help, 2 days every weekend is too much IMO..

What about every other weekend or one day a week instead ?

I have to say, from personal experience, it's best to talk about these things or they just end up festering and becoming an even bigger issue.

If you don't fancy a face-to-face session, could you call her when she's gone home and say that, although you love having their company, with 4 children it's an awful lot of hard work unless your guests are prepared to help out. Also the cost of the extra food is making your budget more difficult to adhere to. So, if she wants to come every week, could you agree certain tasks that she and step-dad will do and would it be possible for her to bring certain food items with her. Alternatively, you'd be happy to see her every other weekend as your budget could probably manage that.

Difficult, I know, but I've always found that, when I've made my feelings known, the other party (usually my mum) has been completely oblivious to how I felt previously.

You say it is your impression that they come to give you a hand - have you ever discussed the visits with them? maybe they come to visit and they are under the impression they are guests? Have they ever said they are coming to help you as opposed to visit you?

maybe you have just all slipped into the habit of getting together each weekend and just have different opinions about the purpose of these get-togethers.

Do you think they should visit to help you? Did you or they suggest that the visits start so that they could give you help?

if they are just visiting to spend time with you and the kids, but it is creating too much work for you, ask them to visit less often.

And fwiw, if someone rows with you in your home you show them the door and tell them to go sulk in their own home!

Seems like you need a little space tbh.

Have you considered going to theirs or is that not feasible? Then they woud have to play "host" IYSWIM.

I would be irritated, yes, rickman. Can you make plans to be out next we? What is she thinking of being there but NOT speaking to you? How odd! More trouble than they're worth by the sound of it, can you do some plain talking of the 'lovely to see you but I'm busy' variety?