I am seething with dss's mother - tight bitch

[galaxy]

dss lices with us. His PC has just packed up which he uses for homework as well as his games etc. It's his 13th birthday next Sunday so we wanted to spend s bit more than usual but not £300 for a new PC. I decided to ask his birth mum if she would be willing to do a joint gift or contribute something (wasn't overly bothered how much) but assumed as she usually spends between £60 to £100 on his birthday, she would give at least £60. She agreed.

My mum and sister are contributing £25 each. Having gone out and bought the PC, she comes back from a week away in the sun and tells dh they are short of money and wont be giving anything towards it and are giving him a couple of CDs for his birthday instead.

This is just after she tells him that she is going to the states in May. dh and I are now left with having paid out £300 for a PC of which we'll get £50 back and possibly another £30 from the in-laws.

Tight-faced, mean old bitch who doesn't give a toss about ds.

Rant over

Lives not lices. That'll teach me to type when angry.

Galaxy at the end of the day you know who the better person is. Be proud of the job you are doing and rise above it.

That is disgusting, full on physical violence would have been my first option (if I wasn't a respectable member of the community that is).

How can someone be so bloddy selfish, I really am very very

sounds like pretty unimpressive behaviour by her.

I know salsa. But she also refused to contribute to his school trip this year which we have always gone halves on. It's one thing after another. I've just had to take a 30% pay cut and our mortgage went up by £400 so it all just sucks.

It's not so much the money really...it is the fact that she cares so little about ds.

Do you get any finacial help from her at all.

Yes she pays a sum each month which is fixed by court order. It isn't a lot and she went to court to get it reduced when dh and I got married which I think is dreadful. If dh and I split or anything happened to me, he would be left with the lower amount. The agreement she and dh had was that she would also contribute to his school uniform, pay his school dinners and help with any big costs for school trips e.g. residential ones.

How old is your dss? Is he old enough to realise how little she cares?

If he was your natural son and needed a computer then you would have to find the money (just you and your dh), the same with the school trip. I guess she thinks that he lives with and you are both working etc. It sounds as though she has given up on being any kind of mother figure to him. Does he see her often?

Salsa. He's with her every Sunday for 8 hours when she usually does her housework and leaves him playing Playstation or spending the day texting his mates on the mobile we asked her not to give him.

Yes, he's old enough to realise and he's vocal with his thoughts on her to us. Regardless of that, she is his mother and he rightly loves her. Neither dh and I would want that any different.

It's the fact that she knows I earn more than dha nd thinks that an excuse for her to shirk her responsibilities.

Yes, if he was my natural son, we would have to find the money. But if she hadn't promised to contribute, we probably would not have been able to buy it. We would have looked for a second hand PC that would do for his school needs only. He would then have lost out.

The point is that she renages on her promises

When you rdss is older he will know exactly what has been going on these last years.
My parents divorced 25 years ago when I was 5. My dad gave my mum £25 per month from then until I was 16 or 18. The amount never changed. He refused to contribute to anything etc. Mu mum paid for everything. I have never forgotten this and basically have a very different relationship with my mum than my dad.

I think my dad just figured that because my mum did pay for everything that she could easily afford it.

I have two younger sisters that live a wonderful life with dad and my stepmum. They have everything. Wonderful holidays etc.

I don't really know what else to say except he will thank you in the end. She is wrong and you are right and your dss will really appreciate everything that you do for him in the future.

Thanks for your comments Salsa. ds was very upset last year when she announced her pregnancy without any thought for how that would make him feel. He got over that though and loves his sister. He came back from her today and she's pregnant again. I suspect all financial support for him will disappear soon as I'm sure his mum's boyfriend wont want to pay her maintenance.