Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Other subjects

Social Worker - Beyond the Call of Duty?

12 replies

BadMum2 · 05/01/2006 15:42

I am a regular poster who has changed their name for this post (not really sure why). I was out shopping at the weekend with my Mum and both my children. My youngest, aged 3 ran off (in a big department store). I was panicking big time, shouting all over the place when someone thankfully pointed him out to me by this time I was shaking from head to toe as I thought he was gone, he was sitting there laughing at me. I took a hold of his hand and I smacked him on the thigh twice (I generally try not to smack), told him sternly that what he had done was very naughty and he was not to run away from Mummy again. Then I heard a voice in my ear saying "You shouldn't smack him either and you know that", turned round to see this older woman looking at me. I just walked away from her but when I found my Mum and other child again I told my Mum what had happened and she was afronted and started asking me where this woman was. The woman came up to us and said "is it me you are looking for" to which my Mum said "yes" and the woman started to explain that she was a "Social Worker and that I should not have smacked my child". My Mum pointed out to the woman that I was a good Mum and generally did not smack, said that "we all make mistakes including Social Workers".

Without sparking a smacking debate I really feel this Social Worker (if that's what she was) was well out of order. I cannot believe that she couldn't have looked at the situation and seen that I was a Mum who had had a terrible fright rather than one who was being abusive. I really felt she was acting out of her jurisdiction so to speak.

OP posts:
cori · 05/01/2006 15:52

I dont think I would have smacked in this situation, but understand why you did. DS has taken to running off lately and its freaking me out.
I think social worker was probably out of order, you were hardly being abusive. But on the other hand she probably sees parents everyday who try and justify abuse as discipline.

starlover · 05/01/2006 15:55

i don't think it matters one jot whether she was a social worker... it was none of her business.

i could understand it if you had repeatedly hit him... or hit him so hard that she was concerned about his welfare.. but she obviously wasn't, she was just a nosy bint.

it's up to you how you discipline your children

UCM · 05/01/2006 16:23

I would have done the same, smack I mean. You cannot reason with a 3 year old and they need to know that what they have done is unacceptable at that time. You can hardly stick them him on the naughty step. Take no notice. Far better to have a smack on the thigh than be taken away by someone.

UCM · 05/01/2006 16:24

I have to be honest, I will be using reins on DS until he knows not to do it. I don't care if he looks stupid at 3, he would run off if I let him. He is 2.2 at the mo.

fireflyfairy2 · 05/01/2006 16:26

The cheeky mare!!!! IMHO it is no-one elses business what way you discipline your chils, and I would have smacked too, and would have been mixed with anger and releif. I assume you don't make it a habit to smack your children in public places (or at home)BUT I can also see why you felt the need to smack.. especially if he was laughing at you when you found him. I would have told the nosey bag to mind her own business!!

Tinker · 05/01/2006 16:29

Not commenting on the "Social Worker" but I think, to a point, it is other people's business how you discipline your child.

Mercy · 05/01/2006 16:37

I agree it was none of her business and I wonder if she really was a Social Worker.

Recently we were out shopping with ds who was sitting in the trolley and bellowing as usual. This attracted friendly/amusing comments from a number of people (not from me tho!). dh said to ds "you are the noisiest boy in the whole world!" and heard someone say, "oh no he's not". Dh turned around expecting to see another friendly face and was greeted with a very stern looking man and his tut-tutting wife.

Mercy · 05/01/2006 16:39

Tinker, to what extent?

fireflyfairy2 · 05/01/2006 16:47

Tinker, do you mean eg: It is MY business if my neighbour is disciplining her child by kicking him up and down the stairs each night, then yes, I suppose it is to a degree.. but not a smack for running away in a shopping centre.

Easy · 05/01/2006 16:57

When ds was about 3 I took him into town, into our local big mall. When we sat down for a drink in the middle of the mall, I let him get up to put a sweet wrapper in the bin, without me holding his reins. Well, he was off, and galloped off, up the stairs.

I dumped my pushchair (complete with my handbag on it) with a stranger who was sitting nearby, and set off after him, but as I'm disabled I was slower.
I met him and a lovely old lady, who were walking hand in hand, back down the stairs, counting each step as they came. The lady sweetly handed him back to me, saying "Is this what you're looking for?".

I was trying to thank her, control my shaking and resist the temptation to smack ds all at the same time. I don't think I did smack, but I was a bit rough putting him back in his pushchair.
We've all been there, don't worry about this busy-body (who probably wasn't a social worker, and definately wasn't a mum).

HappyMumof2 · 05/01/2006 17:42

Message withdrawn

Tinker · 05/01/2006 18:58

Yes, fff2, that's the kind of thing I meant.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread