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Original poster

Its midnight and my 21 month old is still awake please tell me how to get him to sleep!

25 replies

TambaTheDragonSlayer · 04/01/2006 00:06

Hes 21 months.

If i leave the room he screams and wakes up his brother who he shares a room with.

He is sitting with me atm in my room but I dont want him to think this is going to be a regualar thing iyswim.

I am tired, I need to sleep. How can i get him to sleep

Please!

OP posts:
HRHQueenOfQuelNoel · 04/01/2006 00:09

I'm afraid you may just have to let him wake the older one up this time - chances are (and I'm talking from experience as my two share) the older one will wake up - perhaps ask for a drink (how old is he?) and roll over and go back to sleep.

Original poster
TambaTheDragonSlayer · 04/01/2006 00:10

If my ds1 wakes up all hell will break loose - its hard enough to get him to sleep. I usually end up with them both asleep on the landing

I cannot cope with both of them awake and screaming at me.

dh is on nights atm.

OP posts:
Original poster
TambaTheDragonSlayer · 04/01/2006 00:11

Hes 3 btw

OP posts:
Gillian76 · 04/01/2006 00:12

If DH is on nights I'd be tempted to let him snuggle up with you and you both get a sleep.

Others would not agree...!

soapbox · 04/01/2006 00:13

Bed with you

With a big chat about this being an extra special treat etc etc etc never ever to be repeated

Original poster
TambaTheDragonSlayer · 04/01/2006 00:14

I used to do that with ds1 and it always worked - he will have crawled into my bed in a couple of hours probably.

But ds2 is so awake. He has never slept with me and when i tried it the other night he wiggled and kept waking etc and then ds1 woke up panicked cause ds2 wasnt there and started crying...

OP posts:
Original poster
TambaTheDragonSlayer · 04/01/2006 00:16

I dont think ds2 (age 1) will understand chats

I want to cry. I need to sleep

I nkow its not overly late for me to be up but i have to get 14 hours sleep or i dont function - i throw up and get dizzy etc (am under docs for it atm, something to do with my immune system and something fatigue, got hosp appoint soon)

OP posts:
soapbox · 04/01/2006 00:17

14 hours sleep

Bloody hell - how do you manage that?

Original poster
TambaTheDragonSlayer · 04/01/2006 00:21

I usually sleep until mid-day. Dh works shifts so is often home until then, If he is working then my mom or his will take the children early so i can go back to sleep. I have no one to watch them tomorrow though. Ds was going to get home from work at 7am and stay uptil mid-day and then wake me but i worry that he will be so tired he will crash the car so i was going to go to bed really early and hope for the best.

Its so crap. I feel like I am living half a life

OP posts:
Gillian76 · 04/01/2006 00:23

Oh dear Tamba. Sorry to hear that. Definitely into bed with you then. Hope he settles!

Janh · 04/01/2006 00:31

tamba, marsy's DT2 is doing this to her atm (are hers a similar age to yours?)

I'll give you the same advice I gave her, based on DD2 who did this at regular intervals - get a deep travel cot and a restricting sleeping bag and put the non-sleeper, wearing the bag so he can't climb out, in the cot in a room by himself; shut the door, go away and ignore.

(We used to put DD2 in the front room downstairs. It took about 2 nights. The main thing is never to go in and be nice ))

Original poster
TambaTheDragonSlayer · 04/01/2006 00:33

What about if i put ds1 in with me (He will wake up soon anyway and climb into my bed)

Get ds2 some more milk. Put him in his cot and shut the door. He will climb out and end up asleep on his bedroom floor.

I cant close the door if ds1 is still in the room as he wakes up and is scared of the dark but if the door is open ds2 wakes up and escapes....

Is it cruel to just shut ds2 in his room and let him sleep on the floor???

OP posts:
soapbox · 04/01/2006 00:37

I don't understand why you wouldn't just take him to bed with you? Why go to the hassle of swapping children over? I think it would be a bit damaging to DS2 to see you take DS1 into bed with you and leave him to scream it out on his own Talk about the favoured one

Jahn - and I used to think you were such a nice person

Janh · 04/01/2006 00:41

If you had met DD2 as a toddler you would understand, soapy

DH (who really is a nice person) used to get up with her night after night and be kind and jolly and give her drinks etc; after about 2 weeks he used to say "I can't stand it any more!!!!" and then monster mummy kicked in and sorted her out

Original poster
TambaTheDragonSlayer · 04/01/2006 00:51

Because ds2 wont co-sleep. He doesnt like it and has always preferred his cot. He would moan even more. He was running round my room like it wasnt the middle of the night.

DS1 will co-sleep and until we moved house a few months ago still did.

DS1 wont sleep with the door closed and the light off
DS2 will only sleep with the door closed and the light off

I have put ds1 into my bed and put ds2 into his room with a bottle of warm milk. He cried for a minute and then went silent. Knowing my luck he has probably broke his neck falling out of the cot. I wont sleep whilst worrying so will have to go and check on him and he will wake up again.

It had never occured to me about showing favourites. I feel like the worlds worst mom atm I cant get anything right. And to make it worse ds1 has woken up because i moved him. I have made him warm milk he is now whining about being tired etc (understandable as I just woke him up)

OP posts:
soapbox · 04/01/2006 00:53

Tamba - didn't mean to make you feel bad - was meant as a bit of gentle joshing!

Oh well - at lease DS2 is sorted now!

Original poster
TambaTheDragonSlayer · 04/01/2006 00:55

I know you didnt, but you have a valid point. DS1 always slept with me, he is a total mommys boy, he was breastfed for 14 months, Never had a dummy as I would spend hours rocking him back to sleep. The ds2 arrived. I only managed 8 weeks of feeding him, he had a dummy, went straight into a cot...

I have to go check on ds2 now as the thought of him sleeping on his bedroom floor, abandonded and feelin like mommy doesnt love him as much as she loves ds1 is breaking my heart.

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Original poster
TambaTheDragonSlayer · 04/01/2006 00:56

I just cant think straight when I am tired. I cant wait until the hospital gives me some reason for this as it is affecting my life and the lives of my dh and ds's so much.

OP posts:
colditz · 04/01/2006 00:59

he won't feel abandoned if he is asleep, and he will be all the better tomorrow for going to sleep. You should also get a good nap out of him

colditz · 04/01/2006 01:01

Anyway Tamba, your boys have rights but so do you! You do not have to deal with a child who just wants to play in the middle of the night. If they actually need you, fine, but he just woke up and got bored by the sound of it. It isn't reasonable to wake someone up at midnight and demand to be entertained, no matter how young you are. Fed, comforted, treated when ill, yes, entertained, NO!

Original poster
TambaTheDragonSlayer · 04/01/2006 01:02

I just checked him and he was still in his cot!!!! First time he hasnt jumped out and gone to sleep on the floor. I am amazed.

Although he woke up as I looked in on him so may still jump out and hurt himself or end up asleep on the floor

Is it safe for me to go to bed now do you think?

OP posts:
colditz · 04/01/2006 01:03

Go to bed and don't check him again unless you hear him move

Original poster
TambaTheDragonSlayer · 04/01/2006 01:05

Thanks colditz, your last message made me laugh.

too true!

Part of it is that i feel guilty for the amount of time i spend asleep. I dont see them until the afternoon.

I tried getting up at 7 with them the other day and duly crashed out at around half past. Woke up at half 11. They had been on there own in the other room for 4 hours. I cant believe it did that. So now i get someone to watch them as its safer but people think I am just lazy. They have no idea. I dont like sleeping my life away!

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Original poster
TambaTheDragonSlayer · 04/01/2006 01:05

Am off to crash out - the house is silent!!

Thanks to you all for keeping me sane

Night xxx

OP posts:
colditz · 04/01/2006 01:09

Tamba, if you worked part time they wouldn't see you for half the day, they don't know or care whether you are in bed or out of the house, and plenty of people work part time with no ill effects on the children at all. So it shouldn't be affecting your children for you to spend the mornings in bed.

HTH. I know how difficult perspective can be sometimes (me in the mornings = weeping nightmare!)

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