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Original poster

Weddings! - Presents or cash??

27 replies

crunchie · 03/01/2006 12:27

I know there has been a load of contensious threads on wedding lists, and whether asking for cash is in poor taste (which I think it is personally!)

However I cannot find these threads and a collegue is trying to work out how to write a nice poem which subtly asks for cash rather than presents. I have a vauge memory of someone else doing this, can anyone find it when I can't?

Also I know it is bad form asking for cash, BUT how could you do it in the politest way possible?? or is there no way??

Ta

OP posts:
marthamoo · 03/01/2006 12:28

We don't want no cr@ppy toasters
All we want are pots of cash
If you don't bring loads of money
Don't bother coming to our wedding bash.

How's that ?

Original poster
crunchie · 03/01/2006 12:31

Good start LOL

OP posts:
CountessDracula · 03/01/2006 12:33

How about a list for something other than pressies eg at Trailfinders to put towards your honeymoon?

georginars · 03/01/2006 12:33

Poems just too naff and tasteless altogether IMO!I do think cash is really quite poor taste, but could they ask for vouchers from a particular shop or shops - slightly better maybe

people I know who've done that have just said something along the lines of 'presents not neccesary but if yoi would like to get us sometihng we are kitting out a new flat/baby/whatever so vouchers from bla would be much appreciated'

I don't think there is any polite way to ask for raw cash

CountessDracula · 03/01/2006 12:33

Honestly crunchie if someone actually sent out a request for cash I think I would get them nothing! However cunningly it was phrased!

acnebride · 03/01/2006 12:36

put on invite -

We have been delighted to trace Greek ancestry in our family history and therefore are having a Greek-themed wedding. As you may know, it is the custom in Greek culture, instead of any wedding presents, to pin money on to the bride's dress during the dancing at the Reception. Therefore, if you were considering buying a gift for us, you may wish to follow this custom instead. However, please come to the wedding whether or not you are thinking about a gift! [Thank you in Greek!]

Pruni · 03/01/2006 12:36

Message withdrawn

Bugsy2 · 03/01/2006 12:49

Dont think you should ask for either, subtly or unsubtly! Can't bear wedding lists sent out with invitations - it is so rude!!! You don't have a wedding to get stuff, you are just lucky if your guests like you enough to offer a gift!
Grrrrrrrr, one of my pet hates this.

Original poster
crunchie · 03/01/2006 13:02

I KNOW everybody hates this, I do too. BUT this person really wants to know if there could be a polite way to ask. Does anyone have the links to the old threads - pruni you must remember them

I am trying to tell her not to do it, but you need to be subtle, printing off this thread is a little in your face

OP posts:
Bugsy2 · 03/01/2006 13:09

Sorry Crunchie, have just realised my post wasn't helpful at all. Some posters are very good at making rhymes up, maybe they can help you.
However, I still think you should try and persuade her not to do it at all, if you possibly can. At the end of the day, she is still going to annoy people by hinting at it, however delicately done.

Normsnockers · 03/01/2006 13:35

Message withdrawn

hunkermunker · 03/01/2006 13:38

No, there's no polite way to ask for cash, unless they're donating it to charity

Why do they want money rather than presents? Is it because they have everything they need because they've lived together for yonks?

Pruni · 03/01/2006 13:38

Message withdrawn

hunkermunker · 03/01/2006 13:39

PMSL at BP otter on that last thread, Pruni

SoupDragon · 03/01/2006 13:41

For a start, don't include the request with the invitation, send it after someone's accepted and you're sending out maps etc.

Other than that, a polite explanation why and of what the money/vouchers will be used for. Vouchers seem less mercenary IMO.

Normsnockers · 03/01/2006 13:41

Message withdrawn

Pruni · 03/01/2006 13:43

Message withdrawn

Normsnockers · 03/01/2006 13:45

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Pruni · 03/01/2006 13:45

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hunkermunker · 03/01/2006 13:47

It's just plain rude. And when people have huge weddings and then moan about how expensive everything is and then ask for cash - FFS!

If you already have everything you need, possibly, possibly ask for holiday vouchers for your honeymoon, perhaps. But even then - poor taste, IMO.

But then I had a v traditional wedding list complete with kettle and toaster and didn't live with DH until after we were wed!

munz · 03/01/2006 13:56

ooh no, no to cash, we did a list with argos and popped a card in the invite - then ppl knew where we'd like vouchers for. my cousins did say thou they wanted B&Q vouchers as they'd just moved into their new house.

(would like to add we told everyone that them coming on the day was more important than any pressie - DH's aunty didn't quite see this point thou and refused to come to the wedding on prinicpal she couldn't afford a pressie/to come, we offered to pay she declined and went to spain for a week instead!)

Pruni · 03/01/2006 13:57

Message withdrawn

munz · 03/01/2006 13:58

would like to add I prefer a list cos then I know it's something the couple want so always ask if there's a wedding list done.

munz · 03/01/2006 13:59

I know MIL's not spoke to her since - was 3 years ago (I still send a xmas card etc to be civil etc) - I find that odd but ho hum it's up to her.

Avalon · 03/01/2006 15:08

Pruni - so have I. Looked at all the threads linked and all the links on those too!