Breasfeeding and orgasms?

[marthamoo]

Last Sunday I read an article in You magazine (note: I DO NOT get the Mail! PIL were staying and they read it!) by Nikki Gemmell, entitled "Does pregnancy spell the end of good sex, or is it the birth of a new world of sensations?"

In the article she tells of a friend who, after her baby was born, "had to stop breastfeeding after a couple of weeks because every time her baby suckled she'd have an orgasm. She said it was delightful at first, then exhausting."

Now I'm ready for anyone to correct me here but WHAAAAT???!!! I breastfed ds's 1 and 2 for 12 and 8 months respectively, and I can state categorically that while pleasant, and a lovely bonding type activity, it was never anything approaching orgasmic.

I find Nikki Gemmell's story kind of hard to take because I feel that a lot of the hostile attitudes that still exist towards bf-ing are because some people (particularly men, I have to say) are unable to accept that breasts can used for anything other than sexual gratification. To link breastfeeding and orgasms seems to me to sully the purity and innocence of breast-feeding..I would hate to think that anyone would read her article and, next time they saw a bf-ing Mum, be thinking "ah...I know why you're doing that."

So is it a load of rubbish? Or is anyone here prepared to admit they experienced orgasms while bf-ing?

I have also heard of women begging their midwife to masturbate them when in the throes of labour as they have found it such an intensely sexual experience. I have a little trouble with that one too and can only imagine it's a myth put about by someone who has never been in labour.

Well I have never heard the BF and orgasm link but yes to the labour and orgasm.... it has been debated on Mumsnet before and everyone was appalled at the idea but I do know it happens... however amazing (the concept) it may feel to some !

I don't know about orgasms whilst either b/f or in labour - they were both too painful for me to have any sexual thoughts whatsoever!
I have heard about orgasms during labour, and there is a website all about it, but I don't know the addy. Perhaps the baby's head touching your G-Spot, I can concede that, but I too think that it is a concept made up by men to bring sex into everything! Why can't we, as women, give birth and feed our babies without some s**thead proposing that we link sex with it all! We are not purely sexual objects here for man's pleasure and desire, we don't get enjoyment out of being in pain.
I don't know of anyone who has had an orgasm purely whilst having their breasts massaged even, let alone whilst breastfeeding! I think she is exaggerating. And as it is The Mail, the most sexist newspaper there is, whose editor insists that women pose for photos dressed in skirts, I would take everything written in there with a pinch of salt.

Is nothing sacred?

I agree with what has already been said, for me there were no remotely sexual feelings in either giving birth or b/fing - nothing was further from my mind

However, I have heard of masturbation during labour - not because of arousal, but as a form of pain relief.

Blimey, I have found myself really annoyed by this, the more I read it the angrier I am getting! Especially when I found b/f so hard and painful, the thought of some man getting off on me b/f is very abhorrent. I have a good mind to write to The Mail and complain. Like we don't have enough to contend with! Oh dh is in for it when he gets back tonight - I am raging with disgust for all men now!

My Aunt told me that she has had an orgasm both whilst b/f and giving birth. Her last labour was 1 hr long and she thought she needed the loo, it was actually the head crowing and she had an orgasm as the head came out.

Do not have this woman to visit when you have been through a hellish labour. Thats all I can say.

The only point at which sex featured during labour was when followed by the words "I'm never bl**dy having that again!" And bf'ing was far from orgasmic.

I hate to burst your bubble but I do know women who find labour orgasmic and they NOT THEIR HUSBAND said this..... Does this thread have to be about men?

My Aunt's DH just rolled his eyes and looked very embarrassed when my Aunt relived her orgasmic experience, I think he would rather she hadn't enjoyed it so much. This relvelation certainly came from her

I have certainly read before that some women can reach orgasm when b/f'ing. It was in a magazine or book that did relate to pregnancy/parenting.

There are no male editors on You magazine. I happen to know this for a fact! (almost no male staff, come to think of it)

I used to worry that breastfeeding would be orgasmic! My nipples were highly erogonous (blush) before baby and I imagined that breastfeeding would produce the same effect and it worried me a little - since I had harvey
they became "his" and all the sexual links disappeared - this has had the knock on effect that I have noooo sex drive as yet either.

I'm with Beccarollo

and me

The breastfeeding/orgasm thing came up when I was reading "The Colour Purple" during my English A-level. She mentions "pleasurable feelings" whilst breastfeeding (can't remember the exact wording). What I understood it to be, was the natural contractions of a womb returning to it's normal size. Breastfeeding stimulates the womb to contract more, hence the pain that most of us feel during the first few weeks. However, some fortunate women (depending on how you look at it) don't get the pain, but just orgasmic like feelings when the womb contracts. I do know a couple of people who had this but it didn't last very many weeks.

Thanks for replies - very enlightening. Like Rhubarb, the article made me angry - my first reaction was "does everythng have to be sexualised?" I would just hate the notion that breastfeeding is somehow a sexual thing to gain credence..it's hard enough bf-ing in public without a load of ignorant tossers thinking you are getting your jollies doing it.

But, while it seems that some women do get orgasms while bf-ing (and in labour) it sounds like purely a physical reaction to a stimulus, and not a sexual thing at all. I think it would have freaked me out to have orgasms while bf-ing - probably would have made me stop, but presumably it's fairly rare.

SueW re: boy babies getting erections while bf-ing. Don't boy babies get erections all the time? Hate the thought of that being sexualised too (though haven't read the book so maybe that's unreasonable).

I did not read the article but the thread prompted me to dig out something from "The Best Friends' Guide to Pregnancy" by Vicky Iovine - I quote "After the sore nipples are healed and you know what you are doing. breast-feeding feels really, really good. i am talking about good like sex feels good. A hormone is released in you that has a sedative effect when you feed. That slightly drunken feeling combined with the gentle contraction of your uterus (like after an orgasm) can lead to one deeply satisfied mother."

I have to say, I struggled with breastfeeding and only managed for a wimpy 10 days but I had a couple of feeds like that. Definitely not orgasmic and I didn't feel sexual, but I had that warm glowing feeling which was physical as well as psycological, like you get after good sex (and good orgasm!) with someone you really love! Maybe it's just a loving and very personal bonding thing. After all sex is the most intimate thing you can do with a consenting adult and breastfeeding is the most intimate thing you can do for your child so why shouldn't it kind of feel the same. I don't see it's sexualising breastfeeding at all.